<HTML><FONT FACE=arial,helvetica><FONT SIZE=2 PTSIZE=10>Preston, let me ask you something. I remember when I was in jail and didn't have meth for a few days, though I was sick, it was easy to orgasm. In fact when I lied in bed, I would just come like a wet dream. Is this why your sex life is better now or is IBOGAINE itself affecting a change within you? If you're not sure why you're 'healthier' maybe Howard can answer this. I'm specifically interested not in the psychological differences in your life post Ibo but rather the biological/pharmacological differences from Ibogaine if there are any.
<BR> One last thing Preston. I am happy for you as well as envious(not jealous) you have a great woman in your life. I think, for me, one of the most important things if not the most important is love and how that manifests in your relationships. Right now, it seems the only person(s) I really love are my daughters. That's fine but I need a woman to love and be with. Sex is....well suffice to say I haven't been with a woman I love or even like in,(I can't believe I'm saying this but I guess I need to get it out, it's festering in me like cancer...it really hurts!) 7 years. I feel like a fucking virgin again. I still need to orgasm two to three times a day which is not bad for my age and drug ingestion but loving and being intimate with a woman? Nothing! Maybe it will change after Ibogaine next week but for some reason, unless the 'trip' deals with this aspect of my life, I doubt anything will change. SHIT! I sort of wish now I didn't say anything. I'm feeling like everyone is thinking I am really fucked up but of course no one would ever say that. People will say they understand and relate etc. but they can't because it seems like everyone or almost everyone is either making love to friends or has a person they love and is intimate with them.
<BR> Fuck it. If you could just let me know about ibogaine and your sexual drive that would be great. Love your woman like you do, it's really a fantastic thing to have in life.
<BR> Julian </FONT></HTML>