[Ibogaine] Another one bites the dust

sister sistereboga at yahoo.com
Wed Mar 27 03:28:25 EDT 2013

I just have to vent and really who gives a fuck but maybe by writing this it may save another life.
Had a old friend from my meth program days show up in my life.  Couldn't believe I was nearly 4 yrs clean.  Of course I shared how I got clean.  Well of course she wanted to flood also.  The problem was she was on methadone.  I shared that it's safer to switch over to sao's.  Told her why, dangers involved etc.  Even share with her the opportunity I had watching three tx on a cardiac monitor and what takes place during flood and the following 72 hrs.  Explained qt interval.. The whole chit and combang.

Her mom is about done with her behavior and she either cleans up or get out.  I even went to lunch with mom explaining need to flip to sao's and why.  She was okay with it.  Well this chic and her addict behavior was " I want what I want and want it now!". Of course she can't pay for it, her mom was willing to foot the bill.  The chic and I went back and forth, I just refused to treat if not willing to switch and give the methadone time to get out of system.  Mom, poor, on SS had little.  So we made arrangments for her to leave country to clinic that can sit on her allowing meth to leave her system.  But noooooooo.  So she got it thru well known vender who told her it's safe.  

So safe...?  I just left the hospital with her brain dead due to hypoxia.  I did get to speak to icu doc with her mom.  He stated the hypoxia was secondary to going so long with with too low Hr and couldn't profuse body/mind, then heart stopped completely.  Mom was sitter, which is so sad.  She is carrying such guilt.  She cried so painfully.  Made statements like " I am a LPN, the women on phone said many she sells too don't have it that good.". Said no EKG needed, no need to switch to Sao, just makes it easier on the provider/clinics.  "They don't want to have to give doses needed"

Now.. Let me clarify, I didn't hear theses statements said to her or her mom....second hand info.

I did spend time with both explaining, shared what I witness on the three I wittiness cardiac monitor.  So they both did know.  I just hurt.  Just in last 12 mo I know of 7 deaths.  I wonder how accurate that study on the deaths can be when the deaths are kept hidden.  I know for fact that many who have deaths hide it.  Instead of sharing what happen so we all can learn, it's hidden.  I do understand when underground, but why hide the deaths if in legal country?????   I just don't get it.  We could all learn from each others mistakes.

Now this chic is basically dead.  So unessassary.  My heart is broken for her mom.  Not sure she will pull thru this.  Even worse she contacted police/DEA to report the vender.  Has written instruction, name of person who talk to her on phone, even taped it not trusting her memory.  Not sure how I feel about this.....I understand her anger at vender.  But really???  I made it so clear of the risk, I refused to work with her.  How much clearer can that be?   But I still understand her anger, really not anger but pure saddness, guilt and just at a loss right now.  She will loose everything caring for her brain dead child.  MD was preparing her for what's in future.  Moving off unit as soon as ibo clears her system then to nursing home.  They are drawing bld q4 hrs and documenting for DEA.  That's scary but her mom is adamant about pressing charges, reporting vender for disinformation, sending it thru ail in USA, etc. don't get that at all myself.   I did bring it up that she can't claim ignorance no matter what was told to her by vender.  I made it too clear.  But I do understand her fears of loosing her home and need for some$$$ assistance right now.  I don't see how a vender outside this country can be held accountable even if giving poor instructions/advice.  I don't think the women on phone is a medical professional which is on her side.  If she was a nurse here... What DEA didn't take from her, board of nursing surely would, then civil case..,oh god fucking scary.
MD was a nice guy.  I actually took advantage and learned all I could from him.  He was so willing, showed me labs, etc.  I am curious how long bld titers show the ibo.  The doctor was very interested in ibo.  He is gonna let me have copy of labs (moms permission too). Also doing some lft follow ups for me.  

So...pls guys.  Why risk it?  I know many were treated straight from methadone/sub/fentyl and lived to tell about it.  But that's what so cool about research.  We learn safer ways, better ways. We have the technology, why ignore it?  One uness death is too many in my eyes.  I understand chit happens, hidden cardiac problems, lying clients, throwing emboli...for some it's just gonna happen.  But no reason to be negligent.  We all know there are risk with this mode of tx.  Myself, well worth the risk I took with my life.  But txing straight from meth/sub/fentyl is just negligence.  Treating without looking at EKG, negligence.  Not understanding the meds your mixing with ibo, negligence.  I just treated a guy here in CR who shared a few responses from "providers".  I have to say I was shocked, actually appalled at what I read. My rule of thumb.. Nothing but opiates/benzo should be in ones system.  We just don't know enough about this wonderful plant to mix pharmicutals with it.  Just safer not too.  Wise to wait72 hrs.  I am about to find out how much Ibogain registered after 72 hrs...that's cool I think.

So my heart is so sad...I was so excited to be able to have her in my life again....well sorta.  While on dope I really didn't care for her.  But if she had opportunity to get clean, I bet we could have hung out together again.  Such a needless waste.

I am gonna find that list of meds that should NOT be used when ibo is in system.   Even it's not conclusive, many condraindicated.  Clonidine a biggy.....I know this by experience ashamed to say.  Neurotin is another...brand name for that is gabarpentin (sp).  antibiotics, most of them.  Beta blockers, htn meds, steroids.  List goes on and on.

Well, can't say this help much.  I am still tearful, sad and I mystery admit angry at vender myself.  Not going to call them either to give heads up.  Well, maybe after I get some sleep I might feel differently.  This is not the first time they sold iboga that ended in death.  If my memory is correct that boys mom was a nurse also and was told how safe without looking at EKG.  That kid was given disinformation by many.  Had a pace maker...I remember seeing that spike and was who AA.  Called them and said you failed to mention he has a pacemaker placed.  But when your dead set you will keep asking till you hear what you want to hear.  Way too many willing to tell you what you want to hear, knowledgable or not,   That one was really the kid... Kept going from one site to the next till he found someone to say having a paceer will not affect the flood.  Hell, 21 yrs old, what can go wrong, go for it.  they did and I am sure that boys moms life still sucks today.  

I hate addiction, I hate that I am an addict.  I hate seeing the pain it causes, I hate how fucking nuts addicts are.  I hate excuses,  I hate feeling so sad.  I rather deal with physical pain any day then this emotional pain.  My s pain was a great way to get dope but for real....my dope use had nothing to do with MS.  It was so I didn't have to feel like I feel right now.  Ms was just easier to admit too.  

Thanks for listening.

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