[Ibogaine] tried

fallen eden falleneden1 at gmail.com
Mon May 16 23:47:14 EDT 2011


James I'd add just one more thing to that list, ACTION! Love without an
action to back it up can only go a short ways.. I've stayed silent on
purpose for about two years on what I was ranting on earlier in the hopes
that I just wouldn't get distressed emails like that anymore or end up
somehow talking directly to former patients whose treatments just went wrong
with the kinds of problems I mentioned, and a lot I didn't mention.. After
the time went by I tried at one point politely mentioning some of the
problems that kept coming my way, but.. nothing ever changed, that was about
a year ago.. I got to the point where I just could not sit silently anymore;
it's not a superiority like it could come off as (although to point out
things going wrong, I found it just doesn't work to be humble).. but it's my
empathy for the people's stories that end up in my inbox, it kills me to
hear each one, and that's where the anger comes from.. I wouldn't be saying
this kind of stuff now if it wasn't for those patients, because I put
my whole lifeblood into a treatment, heart and soul, each person I speak
with I care about. It feels as if someone wasn't serving the root if
a treatment could end up like the things I've had former patients describe
to me.. and as well I feel this kind of confusion at some clinics, why
people can't seem to figure things out half the time in Mexico.. (I keep
thinking, How is it that I can manage things as just one person, one on one
with the patient, and yet a whole staff can't do the same job? What's..
wrong.. uh guys?) Just yesterday I was doing an intake, and I was asked my
opinion of what clinic might be the best idea for the person as he wasn't as
constrained by money, and for his situation I did think that travelling
might be a better idea than staying close to home.. But I had no idea what
to tell him about the clinics! I don't want to be the person to send someone
down to be one of the unlucky people to have another terrible experience,
even though there are of courese many people that have had great
experiences. But the horror story ones all have strange things in common, I
just don't know what to make of it.. Talking nicely about it never got
anywhere, and that's why I finally got so mad, because I feel myself in
those people's shoes, what it would have been like if I had been them going
through whatever botched situation it was. But that's where it came from..
I've been upset about it for some time now, especially because it seems like
there's nothing I can do to help it somehow.

On Mon, May 16, 2011 at 8:18 PM, fallen eden <falleneden1 at gmail.com> wrote:

> Jim.. I'm in a bad mood as it is right now, I like you, and I don't want to
> have to tell you to read my post again because you didn't seem to understand
> what I said. The point of what I was saying was that I *wasn't* going to be
> polite about it. Uh, other point was Patrick liked him too; that's why it
> took so long to even do the temporary ban like I said, so go yell at Patrick
> too then (not really, he would hate me for that, so then just yell at me)..
> And everybody else is agreeing to at least give the guy a break at this
> point because he's shown he can not post up a storm anymore. I was trying to
> help Patrick figure out what to do with the banning stuff back when it was
> happening, he didn't want to just cut the guy off like that, but he had to
> with the (hopeful) intention to reintroduce him to the list if he could
> control himself (which fortunately it seems like he can now!) Anyone else
> who made a post like this, as Jeremy did today, would have been considered
> just fine and completely in line, completely on topic! (Something we know
> was.. ehhh.. for Jeremy before.) No I was not saying you were the meanie or
> something; I was saying let's just stop bashing him now (he'll just start
> ranting again if we bash him so that's why to freaking stop it), he's doing
> what he's supposed to at the moment, and the thing is.. YesI know I'm
> female, I actually read just about everything he used to rant about, and I'm
> ironically not complaining about his bitches n hoes stuff (Kind of says
> something since I'm the girl..); it really never sounded as offensive to me
> because it appeared he was talking about girls that had been in his life,
> repeated situations and scenarios that just went bad, in which case I would
> probably think of whoever girl it was as a bitch too.
>
> Yes you have a right to your opinion as you said, you talk a whole lot more
> than me on here nowadays, so I'm entitled to my opinion too as I haven't
> voiced it in God knows how long. I'm just gonna drop it.. love you Jim but
> everybody else is agreeing on the "give Jeremy a break now" thing, he's
> behaving, so it's a moot point to keep going after him if he even tries to
> say one word. And now is really not a good time for me to get into a fight
> with someone, it would be messy, for the other person. No offense man, it
> just would, so love ya..
>
>   On Mon, May 16, 2011 at 6:21 PM, Jim Hadey <jimhadey3 at yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>>
>> @Fallen,
>>
>> Oh boy, one minute your talking about why be so
>> polite, then I say I'm glad he is off and it's my fault,
>> I'm the meanie?  It's my fault he went on and on
>> and on.  You women are not his favorite people
>> ya know.
>>
>>
>> >>>>I did, Jeremy's strange rants were funny as
>> hell (although.. I do agree about not wanting to
>> scare off the new people..) <<<
>>
>> Well I am glad you liked them as most people,
>> boys and girls, were sick of them.  He picked a
>> fight with everyone on the forum - couldn't talk
>> to him.  I  don't want him to go away mad but
>> to just go away.  Why not write to your bud off
>> line I am sure you can find something to talk
>> about.  You can talk about his dick or his no
>> good girlfriend in high school or the crazy
>> police or the fact that 99.9999%  percent of
>> all women are bitches and hos and his no
>> good dad and his no good/then good Dr.
>> Yea, you got all kind of neat and intelligent
>> topics to choose from, lucky you.
>>
>> Oh, by the way, I do have the right to my opinion
>> and if ya don't like it I guess you'll have to lump
>> it.  Oh, it's not that bad, if you can handle Jeremy
>> you can tolerate me, or should be able to, but
>> never can tell, and it don't really matter if ya think
>> bout it.  Hey your both young.... who knows he
>> has been looking for a GF  and maybe...well
>> who knows?
>>
>> Best,
>>
>>   - JIM
>>
>> --- On *Mon, 5/16/11, James Forristal <psychonaut101 at gmail.com>* wrote:
>>
>>
>> From: James Forristal <psychonaut101 at gmail.com>
>>
>> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] tried
>> To: "The Ibogaine List" <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
>> Date: Monday, May 16, 2011, 4:43 PM
>>
>>
>> The aftercare comment was removed and apologizes for shortly after it was
>> put on the forum.  A sense of entitlement coming from the shadow
>> of superiority and laziness motivated that comment.  I'm now working to
>> improve this aftercare and to do lower cost treatments with all the bells
>> and whistles for those that may find it suits their needs when wanted to be
>> detoxed.  This place has been hurting for resources for some time but it's
>> now slowly forming into something pretty damned special.  Please be careful
>> about the second hand information you get, it's easy to get caught up in
>> that drama of negativity and I know you are better than that when you have
>> your heart in tact.
>>
>> I love you,
>>
>> James
>>
>> PS.. rock out with your cock out Jeremy!
>>
>> On Mon, May 16, 2011 at 12:56 PM, fallen eden <falleneden1 at gmail.com<http://mc/compose?to=falleneden1@gmail.com>
>> > wrote:
>>
>> Heh and why are we so polite here to not share the names of places that
>> mess with people.. (Annie's first two treatments were at the same place
>> where that last death occurred with finding the guy dead in the morning, she
>> was there in the middle of it. [Sorry Kevin W, you were right the whole
>> time, no harm done..].) Yeah I know but I've had SO MANY PEOPLE email me for
>> help after having *already* gone to one of a couple places where their
>> treatment is completely botched, and all the particular people are a bit
>> connected, I am getting to this WTF point because someone should NOT have to
>> look around like that so much and spend so much money for a real ibogaine
>> treatment. I've found myself saying things like, "You mean they flooded you
>> with a couple grams of TA for METHADONE?" or "Wait so.. The entire treatment
>> house was EMPTY because the providers would ALL LEAVE to get stoned or
>> something???" Aftercare houses having NO FUCKING FOOD and broken plates.
>> What.. The fuck. Annie is very right about how low-lives gravitate to it
>> sometimes...
>>
>> But about Jeremy, again just shut up.. He's behaved himself.. Jim, if you
>> wanted to know why he wasn't banned for so long, it was because Patrick
>> liked him so much, and me too.. he couldn't figure out what to do with him,
>> didn't want to just cut the guy off like that, it's cruel.. And I guess he
>> also liked the fucked up humor like I did, Jeremy's strange rants were funny
>> as hell (although.. I do agree about not wanting to scare off the new
>> people..)
>>
>> On Sun, May 1, 2011 at 8:14 PM, <cbava108 at gmail.com<http://mc/compose?to=cbava108@gmail.com>
>> > wrote:
>>
>> @Jeff G. for anyone interested Annie was treated in Baja. Should I duck
>> now?
>>
>> On 5/1/11, Jim Hadey <jimhadey3 at yahoo.com<http://mc/compose?to=jimhadey3@yahoo.com>>
>> wrote:
>> >
>> > Jeff,
>> >
>> > You are 100% right, I should not of done it.  I
>> > guess all I can say is I am human and could
>> > not resist.  He needs someone to talk to which
>> > is why I suggest you could write to him off line
>> > and he would have a email pal.  I don't have
>> > hatred in me for Jeremy, I don't hope he gets
>> > hit by a car, I just wish he would go somewhere
>> > else and we all know people like that.
>> >
>> > Best to ya Jeff,
>> >
>> >   - JIM
>> >
>> > --- On Sat, 4/30/11, Jeff G <jeffgallop at gmail.com<http://mc/compose?to=jeffgallop@gmail.com>>
>> wrote:
>> >
>> > From: Jeff G <jeffgallop at gmail.com<http://mc/compose?to=jeffgallop@gmail.com>
>> >
>> > Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] tried
>> > To: "The Ibogaine List" <ibogaine at mindvox.com<http://mc/compose?to=ibogaine@mindvox.com>
>> >
>> > Date: Saturday, April 30, 2011, 8:55 PM
>> >
>> > Jim
>> >
>> > Those were the first words I have seen from Jeremy in a long long time.
>> >
>> > And after all that time you still have so much anger left you felt the
>> need
>> > to spank him??
>> >
>> > Never said I like the guy or anything he ever wrote just thought it cold
>> to
>> > not simply ignore his post especially in the context it was written.
>> >
>> > Seems to have struck a nerve with you.
>> >
>> > Whatever ...
>> > On Apr 30, 2011 5:37 PM, "Jim Hadey" <jimhadey3 at yahoo.com<http://mc/compose?to=jimhadey3@yahoo.com>>
>> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Jeff,
>> >>
>> >> I raged once in the 8 or so years I have been here.
>> >
>> >> and it was at Jeremy.  I HAVE NEVER FUCKING
>> >> NEVER REFEREED TO WOMAN AS BITCHES
>> >> AND HOS, I NEVER SAID THAT 99.9999% OF
>> >> WOMAN ARE BITCHES AND HOS, IN NICE BIG
>> >> CAPS.  I NEVER WENT RAMBLING ON FOR
>> >
>> >> PAGES TALKING ABOUT MY DICK.  I DID NOT
>> >> START A MOTHER FUCKING  FIGHT WITH
>> >> EVERY MOTHER ON THE FUCKING FORUM
>> >> INCLUDING THE MOTHER FUCKING DUDE
>> >> WHO RUNS IT.  I NEVER......AH HELL WITH YA.
>> >
>> >>
>> >> Now tell me Jeff, find once when I went on a rant.
>> >>
>> >> Read my posts and tell me when I disrespected
>> >>
>> >> anyone.  If you can not do that converse with
>> >>
>> >> someone who cares about your opinion.  Just so
>> >
>> >>
>> >> ya know your in the minority - he is a jackass for
>> >> lack of a better word.  If you like the guy so much
>> >> why not write to him off line or talk to him on the
>> >> telephone, you can ask him how he's doing.  You
>> >
>> >> can maybe Yahoo and talk to him and see him at
>> >> the same time.  Or maybe you two could share an
>> >> apartment together and you can teach him what he
>> >> needs to learn.  Looks like he forgot his mannors,
>> >
>> >> you would think he would learn some kind of
>> >> manners from the Simsons or Growing up Gotti
>> >> or maybe Family Guy or something.  Yea, you
>> >> can learn a lot from that guy.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Patrick gives the people free latitude in what they
>> >
>> >> say or talk about.  In the years I have been here
>> >> only two people were banned, one was a dummy
>> >> who answered everyone's questions wheather
>> >> they liked it or not and many were complaining.
>> >
>> >> The second was Jeremy and he should of done it
>> >> much sooner and needless to say EVERYONE
>> >> WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT JEREMY.
>> >>
>> >>   - JIM
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> --- On Sat, 4/30/11, Jeff G <jeffgallop at gmail.com<http://mc/compose?to=jeffgallop@gmail.com>>
>> wrote:
>> >
>> >>
>> >> From: Jeff G <jeffgallop at gmail.com<http://mc/compose?to=jeffgallop@gmail.com>
>> >
>> >> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] tried
>> >> To: "The Ibogaine List" <ibogaine at mindvox.com<http://mc/compose?to=ibogaine@mindvox.com>
>> >
>> >
>> >> Date: Saturday, April 30, 2011, 6:32 PM
>> >>
>> >> On Fri, Apr 29, 2011 at 11:20 AM, Jim Hadey <jimhadey3 at yahoo.com<http://mc/compose?to=jimhadey3@yahoo.com>>
>> wrote:
>> >>>>>> "I can't even type" <<<<
>> >
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Good
>> >>   - JIM
>> >>
>> >> thats so nice (not)  of you jim...was it really necessary?? funny how
>> some
>> >> folks can rant and rave all they want here, and even get encouraged to,
>> >> and others well....
>> >
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> these were the guys first words here in ages and you find it necessary
>> to
>> >> give him a little kick while he's down....
>> >>
>> >> real kind of ya...
>> >> jeff
>> >>
>> >> On Fri, Apr 29, 2011 at 11:20 AM, Jim Hadey <jimhadey3 at yahoo.com<http://mc/compose?to=jimhadey3@yahoo.com>>
>> wrote:
>> >
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>>>>> "I can't even type" <<<<
>> >>
>> >> Good
>> >>
>> >>   - JIM
>> >>
>> >> --- On Tue, 4/19/11, Jeremy Spence <jlspence12 at gmail.com<http://mc/compose?to=jlspence12@gmail.com>>
>> wrote:
>> >
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> "I can't even type"
>> >> From: Jeremy Spence <jlspence12 at gmail.com<http://mc/compose?to=jlspence12@gmail.com>
>> >
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Subject: [Ibogaine] tried
>> >> To: "Mindvox" <ibogaine at mindvox.com<http://mc/compose?to=ibogaine@mindvox.com>
>> >
>> >
>> >> Date: Tuesday, April 19, 2011, 10:23 PM
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> I've just been detoxing
>> >>
>> >> "a lot"
>> >> I "can hardly write"
>> >>
>> >> or type
>> >>
>> >> it hurts so bad
>> >
>> >>
>> >> 15 plus dependents on "morphine like sub"
>> >>
>> >> All i can say is, "un real"
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> "I can't even type"
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Jeremy L Spence
>> >
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
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