[Ibogaine] From Randy:
bicuitboy714 at gmail.com
Thu Feb 25 15:58:51 EST 2010
Jessica, I'm in Kentucky right now and give me a couple
of weeks and I Will be looking to spread the word and maybe even get a few
treated by somebody. (wonder who??) Hmmmmmm
Peace Love and Spreading the Word (LOVE)
On Mon, Feb 22, 2010 at 3:05 AM, Jeremy Spence <jlspence12 at gmail.com> wrote:
> I was just talking about Randy, I am guess by what he says he lives in KY,
> I don't know him,
> But his post are always full of love and hope..
> He really sounds like a wonderful guy.....
> I am the Nut job that rants, crazy inconheart sentinces, well, pretty much
> all the time... I tend to piss everybody off on that list most days.. or
> just nobody want to hear the bs so they hit the delete button..
> its a free country so they say...
> However, my position stands firm on one thing, it's NOT THE DOCTOR, ITS NOT
> THE DRUG, ITS NOT YOUR TOWN, ITS "YOU"
> I am talking about, a person getting all fucked the hell up..
> I just don't buy that its all the drugs fault bs... or that the doctor did
> it, or the "dealer did it" I get really, extremely sick of hearing that
> it has made my life a living hell trying to get my meds for pain control...
> and YES, THEIR ARE SIDE EFFECTS POEPLE!! YES!!! AND NO, I DO NOT FUNCTION
> LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!! but I do better with the pain meds in pain then
> I would have blown my brans out without the meds.. But YES, THE SIDE
> EFFECTS AFTER A WHILE ARE NOT FUN...
> SPEND 13 YEARS STRAIGHT ON THEM AND YES, THE SIDE EFFECTS WILL GET YOUR
> ASS.... THEYJUST DO...
> However, I spent these 13 years searching for things, supplements, diet
> changes,vitamin IVs,(through my step dad insurance, which i had while I was
> at Unvisty of Southern Indiana, which i LOVED!!! BY THE WAY!! WHEN I GOT GET
> MY A BLADDER DISEASE FUCKING TRAIN!!!! IT KNOCKED ME TO MY KNESS!!! I WAS
> NEARLY 195-200 POUNDS OF SOILD MUSCLE AT 5-7 AND HALF ON A GOOD DAY..
> NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAD ABOUT A ANOTHER 25 POUNDS OF MUSCLE TO GO, AND I
> COULD HAVE WENT PRO. PROBODYBUILDING I MEAN)
> I got a rare bladder disease that only effects 10% of men 90% women.......'
> I they have a no clue what causes it...
> I believe a lot of shit could have play a role in it.. the ANSWER IS=WHO
> THE FUCK KNOWS???
> I happen to be one of the worse cases any of the uros have ever seen..
> I went down to 105-110 pounds at one time, I nearly died, I really can't
> count how many times really, it be too crazy for me to count... pain,
> drugs, doctors, idiots, scum bags, fatherless child, broken home.
> you name it...
> if I sound black, its because I really went through some nigger shit... I
> and i don't believe in saying nigger.. but that's what the fuck i am been
> through.. I would have taken death over this bull shit..
> some how I am still alive, much wiser I'll tell you that..
> Its hard for me to understand why people would throw their life's away over
> a sub. I mean, I got pain that just wouldn't stop, passion of the christ
> type shit... only it just didn't stop... I got left by all the girl friends
> I ever gave a spit about....
> yea, it fucked with me... and still does.. and yes, its changed what i
> believe about "forever" with a fucking bitch...... I am sorry, it just
> fucking has... and if you can't fucking deal with the way i said that.. then
> I am real, real, fucken sorry...
> it just harden me...
> I am sorry it just has....
> I didn't mean for myself to get like this, it just happened to me.. I
> didn't plan on becoming this harden.... I didn't go out there and look for
> it, or want to see combat and get harden....
> I would have like to have just married my college sweet heart and had the
> white fence and just conformed and tried like hell to please my wife..
> That's what I would have done before my disease.. now, fuck it.. I don't
> gave a mother fucking fuck...
> all I care about is getting on my own 2 feet and working in the medical
> felid as a EMT then paramedic, and then maybe going on to become a fucken
> MD... and piss on everything else...
> I mean, I am still deep down a good person, no doubt.. But its going
> through this thing all alone has fucken changed me...
> it just fucken has...
> and then taking the piss from the MDs here has been madding, you see its
> the extreme other way in this stupid ass state....
> people who have illness get treated like pisss over the fucking meds... its
> I would never lie to a person and tell a person, hey, "take these" or here
> some of these.... or that they are just all good... FUCK NO!! I would not do
> that, not at this stage in the game.. in my 20s I don't think i fully
> understood the long term effects of these drugs... in fact, I know i
> but if i had to choose between the pain of my disease or the side effects
> of the drug.. I would choose the drugs.... that's something everybody has to
> weigh for "THEM" FUCKING "SELFES"
> this over crazy shit in the media is BULL SHIT!!
> PEOPLE MAKE THEIR "OWN" "CHOICES"
> SOMETHING PEOPLE JUST DON'T FUCKING GET!!
> The doctor DOES NOT COME TO YOUR DOOR STEP DOES HE?? NO, HE DOES NOT...
> I AM JUST SICK OF PEOPLE FUCKING BLAMING SHIT ON OTHER PEOPLE...
> PEOPLE DIE!! PEOPLE IN SURGERY TOO, TRYING TO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY.. LIKE
> SOME "STAR" OR SOMETHING....
> people die from all types of shit..
> "drugs" and "doctors" are just a "easy target..." OR THE DEALER..... ITS
> FUCKING STUPID...
> OR THE BAR TENDER DID IT WHEN A PERSON GETS SERVED TOO MUCH AND GOES OUT
> AND DRIVES AND HITS A BUS LOAD OF SCHOOL KIDS... THE BAR TENDER DID IT....
> YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE..
> I JUST GET
> SICK OF HEARING SHIT LIKE THAT..
> That the reason I have such a hard time just being fucking treated by my
> fucking MD for pain.... IT CUTS BOTH WAYS PEOPLE...
> and i pray people don't have to find that side out..
> BECAUSE ITS NOT FUN LIKE THESE DRUG USER THINK IT IS... GET SICK AND
> BELIEVE ME, ITS NOT FUN!!!
> PLUS BEING A MAN, ITS BEEN REAL FUN!!
> BITCHES TREATING ME LIKE PISS BECAUSE OF SSI!!
> I AM JUST GLAD THEY ALL LEFT MY FUCKING ASS!! I BE FUCKED, MIGHT HAVE A KID
> I DID SEE, AND GET PISSED ON BY THE "BETTER PEOPLE" FAMILY... YEA, I CAN SEE
> IT NOW!!
> THAT'S WHY I JUST LET THAT PRO BASEBALL PLAYER SISTER JACK ME THE FUCK OFF,
> NEARING THE END OF THE REL...
> I JUST HAD A FEELING, IT WAS COMING TO A CLOSE BECAUSE THE "BETTER PEOPLE"
> DIDN'T WANT ME MESSING AROUND WITH THE ANGLE WITH WINGS.....(I was a whole 4
> and a half years oldered, WOW!!!! isn't that something.....)
> PEOPLE DON'T KNOW NOTHING, THE FUCK ABOUT MY MOTHER FUCKEN LIFE...
> PEOPLE CAN GET FUCKED...
> I AM SORRY FOR THE RANT.. IT JUST COMES OUT IN SMALL BURST AT TIMES...
> PEOPLE JUST DON'T FUCKING GET IT.. ITS JUST FUCKING CHANGED ME THAT'S ALL..
> I MEAN, FOR SOME PEOPLE, IC(BLADDER DSEASE) DOESN'T DO AS MUCH DAMAGE TO A
> PERSON LIFE.. TO ME, IT NEARLY ENDED IT.. BUT I AM A LOT TOUGHER THEN WHAT
> PEOPLE FUCKING "THINK"
> I AM SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANYBODY.. BUT I AM JUST FUCKING NUTS FROM THIS
> SHIT... ITS JUST CHANGED ME.. THAT'S ALL...
> I AM SORRY IF IT DIDN'T COME OUT ALL NICE AND FAKE FOR EVERYBODY ON THE
> On Feb 21, 2010, at 11:18 PM, Jessica Blackburn wrote:
> Kentucky looks like a really nice, unaffected place to someone who hasnt
>> lived there. Sadly, Kentucky has one of the largest percentages of drug
>> addicted people in the nation. I was born and raised in Pikeville KY, lived
>> there for 22 years and became addicted to drugs there. KY doesnt have much
>> heroin, or any street drugs for that matter (at least in the rural areas)
>> except for pot. The big problem is pharmaceuticals, and corrupt doctors and
>> law enforcement that take part in the money making. Pain clinics are on
>> every corner, in every strip mall, over-prescribing oxycodone, fentanyl, and
>> a whole slew of other narcotics. I dont know if you are both from KY, but if
>> either of you are still in the state, even visiting, spread the word about
>> ibogaine. One third of my graduating class from 2004 is dead from overdose,
>> the other half are in jail, or addicted to drugs. I wish that I could reach
>> more people from home, and help them, but I am very far away. If someone is
>> in KY for an ex
>> tended period of time, I would love to coordinate and try to reach some
>> people there who were interested in ibogaine after hearing that I got clean
>> with it. Let me know :)
>> On Feb 21, 2010, at 9:04 PM, Jeremy Spence wrote:
>>> Don't u just U love our two states :0)...........
>>> No, there are not too bad, as long as your not "different" or can't
>>> conform, then, yea, its a kind of a problem...
>>> Your right Brad, and it wouldn't be so bad, it it was not for the fact
>>> that I got the strange, can't tell by looking at me, like everybody thinks
>>> you can, idiot brains...
>>> That's what's made my life here hard...
>>> But fuck it..
>>> I really don't care anymore, it is what the fuck it is.. and i really do
>>> not fuck that much of a fuck anymore..
>>> Kentucky got some nice rolling hills...
>>> its a got beautiful country side..
>>> I went deep south into Ky with my mother and step dad, and we got some
>>> herbs from the Amish.
>>> You know I use to always think the Amish were crazy... and you know what
>>> i found out... "we city people, with all are little or (big if you want to
>>> call some things that are "laws" that don't seem to help or stop anything I
>>> can see.) But yea, I found out, "we are the one that are crazy" its not
>>> them.... "we with are overly social control city style of bs..." we are the
>>> crazy people..
>>> They are just living there life's.
>>> They don't deal with mass shooting like we do... That don't seem to have
>>> drug problems either.... not like the city people do.... They also do not
>>> seek this high that us city people do..... and well over socialized world
>>> does.. I told my mother, you know if the Amish have a earth quake, guess
>>> what, life goes on as usual
>>> My mother beat breast cancer by going to the herb guy over there, he stop
>>> doing it, sending it out, you have to go there and get it, and they only
>>> deal in cash now.. I forget the place, His name is Ruben, its deep in Ky,
>>> in, where the hills roll, like I never seen in my life, its truly something
>>> to see if you go there.. its beautiful country side, it truly is..
>>> My mother is doing good, but I have told her, you don't want it to come
>>> back on you, I've had my cond come back on me 3 different times, and every
>>> time it came back worse....
>>> But she doing good, she beat it all natural, but i told her, don't think
>>> its gone...
>>> its easy for people to think something is gone and it come back and take
>>> them out..
>>> if and When I get better from my IC, I am never going to believe its
>>> gone, its just managed, I don't ever want to end up at the mercy of the
>>> damm MDs... I am sorry I don't.. its not a great place to be...
>>> MDs do what they do, they have a impossible job at times..I am trying
>>> very hard not to hate them.. They do what MD's do... I am just getting
>>> over that fact of life..
>>> However, I just don't want to be at their mercy that's all...
>>> You seem like a good guy Randy....
>>> It be nice to get treated by you or your son.. Your the closest to me
>>> that anybody is on the list... I don't know how deep you are in KY?
>>> its got wide open land, its nice to see there there are still parts of
>>> america still not fucked with too much by man...
>>> To bad we can't seem to get people to do the same with the rainforest....
>>> I am for saving the rainforest.
>>> The drug war is killing the rainforest by pushing coca other oldies but
>>> goodies into the rainforest for protection but its end up ruining the land,
>>> by all type of shit, police raids, and people growing the shit just not
>>> giving a fuck about how they get rid of the chemicals use to get the coca
>>> leafs into cocaine...
>>> I watch something on the internet how the Pres. Bush policy have fucked
>>> up the rainforest, WHAT A DUMB ASS!!! CHENNY TOO!!! I HATE THEM BOTH!!
>>> CHENNY WAS TOO GOOD TO GO TO WAR...
>>> BUT HE DOESN'T SEEM TO MIND ORDERING PEOPLE TO DO FOR THE CAUSE NOW DOES
>>> YEA, THEY BOTH PISS ME OFF!!
>>> I DON'T LIKE THE VICE PRES. EITHER(THE ONE WE GOT NOW.. BOTH OF THEM ARE
>>> DON'T I LIKE THE ONE WE GOT GOT BETTER THEN THE LAST..
>>> I WOULD BET THE ONE WE GOT NOW, MIGHT JUST GET OUT AND FIGHT IF WE HAD
>>> WAR HERE, BIG TALKING CHENNY WOULD BE IN A BOMB SHELTER!!
>>> BUSH MIGHT ACTUALLY GET OUT AND FIGHT..
>>> OBAMA for some reason I got some hope with this pres.. that maybe one day
>>> things will change over here..
>>> I can live with hope....
>>> yea, I think he fucking up are dollar, and econ. is going to hell a
>>> I really hope Obama can pill something out of his ass...
>>> it be nice to see, just so people would shut the fuck up about him....
>>> he told the DEA to fuck off and no pres. in US history has done that...
>>> that's one hell of a thing to do him I think....
>>> But if it were me, I tell them to fuck off completely and DEA agents
>>> would be doing some building jumping, WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUD MOTHER
>>> I DON'T LIKE THEM....
>>> WHEN I FED JUDGE GETS OVER RULED BY "ONE" AGENCY, ITS COMPLETELY GOES
>>> AGAIN EVERY THING OUR FORTH FATHERS FOUGHT ON THE BLOOD FILLED BATTLE
>>> IT SHOULD BE... ITS NOT RIGHT.. AND ITS UNCONSTITUTIONAL, ITS NOT
>>> RIGHT.... IT OVER RIDES THE CHECKS AND BALANCES IN THIS COUNTRY...
>>> IT REALLY DOES...
>>> I am not sure I am for completely over riding all the drug laws, but I
>>> think it needs to turn to one of "harm reduction..." Locking people up for
>>> what they choose to ingest in their bodies is fucked...
>>> But again, I don't like the idea of people fucking their bodies to shit
>>> The answer is kind of hard.. But if you take away freedom, then people
>>> are left with nothing. and what all the wars were fought over mean
>>> On Feb 21, 2010, at 9:44 PM, fallen eden wrote:
>>>> Randy asked me to post his message saying "HEY Y'ALL!"
>>>> "I'm finally home in Kentucky and I got no internet connection.. but
>>>> I'll catch up with y'all when I get back! Maybe a cricket thing, one of
>>>> those wireless cards. I'm doing real good since the treatment, and I love
>>>> you all. Gonna do a booster or two here soon! Oh, and me and D made up,
>>>> we're cool now."
>>>> Randy sends his love.. apparently he's got no internet at the moment,
>>>> and really wanted to tell everybody on the list that he loves you!
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