[Ibogaine] Ibogaine List
sara119 at xs4all.nl
Fri Nov 20 01:34:51 EST 2009
on my part you are most welcome to write and express any word, feeling or
problem you have or think about.
never mind what other list members think , it is you who is important.
God bless you I wish your health will improve soon.
I thank all for putting up with my BS for the past years.... I've
> learned a lot in the past few Years
> On here..
> Weather you believe in god or not(which I make no judgement if any of
> you do or don't, I respect all personal view regarding that.)
> However, keep growing and learning how to cope with my cond. I thank
> God everyday my life is not worse or where it use to be..
> I just been through unthinkable medical truama.. I don't expect shit
> from no one over that BS..
> It's just tested my ablity to cope beyond a normal person could take
> at times..But fuck it, that's "life"
> Life not easy for "no one"
> I guess it's the treatment from the medical system(not believe my
> cond. Even real because poeple/MDs think
> You can just look at a person and tell WTF they have, many poepke with
> AIDS, you never know they have it un less they told you, poeple and
> even high IQ doctors just don't get that!!!,
> That's what's the most frustrating for me, plus I live in a extremy
> iqorant bilble belt part of the world, which is the "worse" as far as
> getting treated like "cattle" and less then human for even having a
> unknown cond.
> which makes me live a living hell even more...
> I almost can deal with the illness easier then the idiot treatment and
> iqorance by poeple and even the freaken MDs.... Because you don't look
> But that's only because I've been fighting like a tiger trying to get
> Who do you know putting 405 on the swat rack on a 180mgs of morphine a
> day. On top of other meds that make me feel like I could fall over
> dead at any min????????
> I don't know 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
> Plus eating nearly "perfect" and looking into "every possible"
> Natural treatment known to freaken mam!!!!!!! To try and help "thy self"
> And yes. I'm blessed to have 1 person in my life that's "tried" to
> "helped" me With this nut job of a cond.....
> My mother, If I make it out of this,
> I owe at least 50% or more to her!!!
> but she can't eat the right foods "for me" she can't take my meds
> right "for me"
> And this is after a became a so called "addict" once a addict always a
> addict type BS... Which at least to me, I think is a bunch of BS..
> maybe some poeple are that way I guess??
> I don't know?
> I'm speaking for my self on that one...
> I tend to believe NA and AA, is slightly a bunch of BS..
> But I do know it does help some poeple and keeps them showing up for
> work everyday and not being fucked the hell up to where things like
> and rent keep getting paid, instead of the ladder..
> And keeping them from acting a fool and running up huge credit card
> dept which fucks the hell out of you in the end.
> Credit cards=bad!!!!!!!!!!
> That's why I'm going down to 1!!!!!
> and only 1!!
> And keep a 1000 dollar limit!
> that's it, I'm done with them..
> there no good, unless you a moive star. Then you can do that type of
> and even though poeple go broke..
> But anyway, the crazy ass medical system(western)(I would tell all,
> "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM IT, "IF" you can... Make it "your last option"
> I wish I would have.. But, oh well,
> to late for crying out it now...
> I'm damm lucky I'm not in worse shape...
> I could be...
> And I'm damm lucky I'm not!!!!
> Damm lucky!!!!
> But it's far from over
> but believe it or not, it's looking bighter everyday for me.
> I just hope I can keep working tawards the ladder...
> I pray I can..
> It's just working through the after math that's my biggest problem now.
> And no, I don't expect anybody to give a fuck, I'm well past that BS.
> I got past that 4 or 5 years ago..
> I give a fuck now..
> But, I care, about the understand dog more now, so that's all that
> matters to "me"
> and if no one else cares, well I hate to sound mean, but fuck'em..
> Had to learn that going through some fucked up shit, yea..
> That's the only way I was able to get through it in "my own mind"
> that's effected me the most, then losing all my true friend over the
> BS too..(aka staying the fuck away, because I don't want to being it
> around them)
> It's just hard to hold it in at times...
> But fuck it, you poeple on here get pissed about it, you what I
> I will try to do it less...
> I'm working through it..
> I get drug tested at my doc, and I got to explain why I have a to time
> break my old meds.
> just to get through, I hardly can get
> my meds for my "real cond"
> Every 30 days..
> It's a mess. One I wouldn't wish on my "worst enemy"
> No one desivres WTF I been through.
> That worse part about it, is before this I reallly was a good guy..
> But after this it's change me...
> Not saying it's changed me all bad, it
> It's made me more compassnaate of others BS.....
> Where before I never would understood..
> sorry, I will try to vent less..
> I working through some total BS..
> I will hopefully live to maybe help another possibly...
> Maybe not??
> WTF knows??
> But anyways, what what it's worth thinks for putting up with my crazy
> ass BS..
> On Nov 18, 2009, at 11:36 PM, "Patrick K. Kroupa"
> <digital at phantom.com> wrote:
>> James & Junkboy: thanks... I don't read the list on a regular
>> basis, but I do searches against it. I hear ya ... I do care about
>> ibogaine, very much, and everybody here.
>> I am very overloaded right now, from multiple directions, but have
>> done my absolute best to blend together the needs of the ibogaine
>> community, with relighting MindVox. At the end of the day, they're
>> pretty much the same thing. MindVox needs to support multiple
>> communities, elegantly and simply, while staying true to one of our
>> very basic foundations: free speech for the stupid; the insane, and
>> The Evil. You do not need to be polite, kind, or coherent to
>> express yourself, at the same time ... it's not okay to take a shit
>> in the middle of the living room.
>> The middleground is providing a platform that makes this possible.
>> We had it goin' in the early 90s, I strongly suspect we'll manage to
>> kick it out through the browser instead of terminals; we're getting
>> there. And if the end result absolutely must have <this>, <that>,
>> and <the other thing> ... well okay, tell us, and we'll do our best
>> to implement it... there are multiple people, working on MindVox
>> itself. There really isn't a larger, more complex, or all-
>> encompassing pre-existing community within MindVox, than ibogaine.
>> I will do everything I can to make it the testing-ground, for how
>> everything else should scale, and function. If it scales to the
>> ibogaine forum(s), 10K+ people, 15 years of constant messages, a few
>> thousand documents and feeds ... well, it should do alright, for
>> every other smaller community.
>> It won't be perfect in 7-8 weeks, but it WILL exist, and be usable.
>> And all noise; I meant to say: brilliant thought, regarding
>> ibogaine, rewinding back to the start of the Calyx list, to=> where
>> we took it over in 2001, will once again be online.
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