[Ibogaine] Ibogaine List

Sara Glatt sara119 at xs4all.nl
Fri Nov 20 01:34:51 EST 2009

Hi J.

on my part you are most welcome to write and express any word, feeling or
problem you have or think about.

never mind what other list members think , it is you who is important.

God bless you I wish your health will improve soon.


 I thank all for putting up with my BS for the past years.... I've
> learned a lot in the past few Years
> On here..
> Weather you believe in god or not(which I make no judgement if any of
> you do or don't, I respect all personal view regarding that.)
> However, keep growing and learning how to cope with my cond. I thank
> God everyday my life is not worse or where it use to be..
> I just been through unthinkable medical truama.. I don't expect shit
> from no one over that BS..
> It's just tested my ablity to cope beyond a normal person could take
> at times..But fuck it, that's "life"
> Life not easy for "no one"
> I guess it's the treatment from the medical system(not believe my
> cond. Even real because poeple/MDs  think
> You can just look at a person and tell WTF they have, many poepke with
> AIDS, you never know they have it un less they told you, poeple and
> even high IQ doctors just don't get that!!!,
> That's what's the most frustrating for me, plus I live in a extremy
> iqorant bilble belt part of the world, which is the "worse" as far as
> getting treated like "cattle" and less then human for even having a
> unknown cond.
> which makes me live a living hell even more...
> I almost can deal with the illness easier then the idiot treatment and
> iqorance by poeple and even the freaken MDs.... Because you don't look
> sick..
> But that's only because I've been fighting like a tiger trying to get
> well..
> Who do you know putting 405 on the swat rack on a 180mgs of morphine a
> day. On top of other meds that make me feel like I could fall over
> dead at any min????????
> I don't know 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
> Plus eating nearly "perfect" and looking into "every possible"
> Natural treatment known to freaken mam!!!!!!! To try and help "thy self"
> And yes. I'm blessed to have 1 person in my life that's "tried" to
> "helped" me With this nut job of a cond.....
> My mother, If I make it out of this,
> I owe at least 50% or more to her!!!
> but she can't eat the right foods "for me" she can't take my meds
> right "for me"
> And this is after a became a so called "addict" once a addict always a
> addict type BS... Which at least to me, I think is a bunch of BS..
> maybe some poeple are that way I guess??
> I don't know?
> I'm speaking for my self on that one...
> I tend to believe NA and AA, is slightly a bunch of BS..
> But I do know it does help some poeple and keeps them showing up for
> work everyday and not being fucked the hell up to where things like
> "bills"
> and rent keep getting paid, instead of the ladder..
> And keeping them from acting a fool and running up huge credit card
> dept which fucks the hell out of you in the end.
> Credit cards=bad!!!!!!!!!!
> That's why I'm going down to 1!!!!!
> and only 1!!
> And keep a 1000 dollar limit!
> that's it, I'm done with them..
> there no good, unless you a moive star. Then you can do that type of
> shit.
> and even though poeple go broke..
> But anyway, the crazy ass medical system(western)(I would tell all,
> "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM IT, "IF" you can... Make it "your last option"
> I wish I would have.. But, oh well,
> to late for crying out it now...
> I'm damm lucky I'm not in worse shape...
> I could be...
> And I'm damm lucky I'm not!!!!
> Damm lucky!!!!
> But it's far from over
> but believe it or not, it's looking bighter everyday for me.
> I just hope I can keep working tawards the ladder...
> I pray I can..
> It's just working through the after math that's my biggest problem now.
> And no, I don't expect anybody to give a fuck, I'm well past that BS.
> I got past that 4 or 5 years ago..
> I give a fuck now..
> But, I care, about the understand dog more now, so that's all that
> matters to "me"
> and if no one else cares, well I hate to sound mean, but fuck'em..
> Had to learn that going through some fucked up shit, yea..
> That's the only way I was able to get through it in "my own mind"
>   that's effected me the most, then losing all my true friend over the
> BS too..(aka staying the fuck away, because I don't want to being it
> around them)
> It's just hard to hold it in at times...
> But fuck it, you poeple on here get pissed about it, you what I
> understand.
> I will try to do it less...
> I'm working through it..
> I get drug tested at my doc, and I got to explain why I have a to time
> break my old meds.
> just to get through, I hardly can get
> my meds for my "real cond"
> Every 30 days..
> It's a mess. One I wouldn't wish on my "worst enemy"
> No one desivres WTF I been through.
> That worse part about it, is before this I reallly was a good guy..
> But after this it's change me...
> Not saying it's changed me all bad, it
> hasn't...
> It's made me more compassnaate of others BS.....
> Where before I never would understood..
> sorry, I will try to vent less..
> I working through some total BS..
> I will hopefully live to maybe help another possibly...
> Maybe not??
> WTF knows??
> But anyways, what what it's worth thinks for putting up with my crazy
> ass BS..
> J
> On Nov 18, 2009, at 11:36 PM, "Patrick K. Kroupa"
> <digital at phantom.com> wrote:
>> James & Junkboy: thanks...  I don't read the list on a regular
>> basis, but I do searches against it.  I hear ya ... I do care about
>> ibogaine, very much, and everybody here.
>> I am very overloaded right now, from multiple directions, but have
>> done my absolute best to blend together the needs of the ibogaine
>> community, with relighting MindVox.  At the end of the day, they're
>> pretty much the same thing.  MindVox needs to support multiple
>> communities, elegantly and simply, while staying true to one of our
>> very basic foundations: free speech for the stupid; the insane, and
>> The Evil.  You do not need to be polite, kind, or coherent to
>> express yourself, at the same time ... it's not okay to take a shit
>> in the middle of the living room.
>> The middleground is providing a platform that makes this possible.
>> We had it goin' in the early 90s, I strongly suspect we'll manage to
>> kick it out through the browser instead of terminals; we're getting
>> there.  And if the end result absolutely must have <this>, <that>,
>> and <the other thing> ... well okay, tell us, and we'll do our best
>> to implement it...  there are multiple people, working on MindVox
>> itself.  There really isn't a larger, more complex, or all-
>> encompassing pre-existing community within MindVox, than ibogaine.
>> I will do everything I can to make it the testing-ground, for how
>> everything else should scale, and function.  If it scales to the
>> ibogaine forum(s), 10K+ people, 15 years of constant messages, a few
>> thousand documents and feeds ... well, it should do alright, for
>> every other smaller community.
>> It won't be perfect in 7-8 weeks, but it WILL exist, and be usable.
>> And all noise; I meant to say: brilliant thought, regarding
>> ibogaine, rewinding back to the start of the Calyx list, to=> where
>> we took it over in 2001, will once again be online.
>> Patrick
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