[Ibogaine] Lee suboxone

Matthew Shriver Matt at ITSupport.net
Sun Sep 23 23:50:01 EDT 2007

Hi Jane

I liked what you wrote a lot.  I felt the same thing with the ibo about how
important my dark past is to the person I have become.  And I also remember
feeling that I wouldn't change it for anything.  I think maybe a better way
to say it then "making peace" is a phrase I sometimes use, "change my
relationship with".  I think what acceptance really does is change my
relationship with my past hurts.  It doesn't make them go away or make them
not hurt, it just changes the way they affect me today.




From: ibogaine-bounces at mindvox.com [mailto:ibogaine-bounces at mindvox.com] On
Behalf Of Jellking
Sent: Sunday, September 23, 2007 7:06 PM
To: The Ibogaine List
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Lee suboxone


howdy Matt, yes, I saw your post and thought, wow, we did that
simultaneously, or near enough as to make no diff.  One slight thing about
me that's different, I don't know if I would call it "making peace," though
maybe.  My slant is a bit Buddhist, actually, I just know that pain is
there, that it doesn't change (because it's in me, not on the outside), that
I can't exactly "conquer" it, or make it go away, but at the same time,
knowing that, honoring it in a way, because it is part of who I am, I just
try to let it be.  I feel pain and anger over these memories, and perhaps
those are the appropriate feelings for them, but there you have it. I
haven't been able to do this until recently (and I'm 54!), but a part of me
just got tired of the emotional trauma.  Now, every morning, these memories
arise, and every morning, I say to myself, so be it, but then I think about
other things, as much as I can.  I sometimes think about thinking about it,
like a meditation.  Then they arise again, etc. I recognize that I've lived
with this most of my life, and it hasn't killed me yet, it's just some
feelings I have (my issue is no longer with what happened, but that I can't
stop remembering it, I guess), and I move on to whatever.  Or try to.  So
maybe it is peace, maybe it's because I just wore out the anger around it,
and now when that anger surfaces, I tend to say to myself, "get over
yourself.  you can't change what happened."  I also sometimes (not always)
get far enough in the mediation process to realize, really, what ibogaine
taught me is I wouldn't want to change it, it's who I am.  the good and the
bad, ya know?  The main lesson I absorbed from ibogaine is that everything I
ever was, and everything I will ever be, are united in this present moment.
Ommmmm.  Yes? Jane

Matthew Shriver <Matt at ITSupport.net> wrote: 

Hi Jane

I for one agree with you.  I posted essentially the same message at the same
time you did.  My message came in just after yours but I hadn't seen yours
when I posted it.  I think that what IS, meaning things that cannot ever be
changed, which of course always includes our history; I think those things
must be integrated in order to make peace with them.  There is just no
getting around it.  You cannot change what already IS.





From: ibogaine-bounces at mindvox.com [mailto:ibogaine-bounces at mindvox.com] On
Behalf Of Jellking
Sent: Sunday, September 23, 2007 5:50 PM
To: The Ibogaine List
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Lee suboxone


Hi Lee and all, reading your childhood stuff is very moving for me.
Sometimes I wonder if the people here realize how friggin' brave they really
are!  To me (and obviously no one else need take this to heart, if it
doesn't work for you), all these addictions begin as discoveries into ways
to ease the pain and anxiety, and not just ease it, but obliterate it
temporarily.  Later, we're left with way more to deal with than we started
with, but for me, it's that original choice to get some relief that's
significant.  Not an incomprehensible move, not a 'bad' move, morally
speaking, just a "how do you spell relief?" kind of move.  And then the next
move is like you're doing, trying to find other ways, trying to disconnect
the addiction, but still left with the original trauma.  I find for me it's
best if I just flat out admit to myself the trauma just IS.  For me, in a
strange way, admitting to myself it would never go away, made it less in the
forefront of my life, and so on.  I wonder if other people have found that
too, or if I'm just kidding myself.  Jane

LEE <JUNKBOY64 at MSN.COM> wrote: 



thanks tons!

id rather stay away from suboxone and not have to step down... Im going to
put ibogiane into my body and get off the opiates, but the biggest part, is
I need to get over my childhood that I keep pretending didn't happen... as
marc has been pointing out, my dad worked all the hours that I was home from
school so he was gone all the time except for saturdays and sundays... he
molested us kids when he was home and hated me especially... I keep thinking
that it wasn't a big deal and I don't have to deal with it, but as marc has
wrote about absent parents, ive realised how it hurt me as a child and how
im keeping my defenses up still, even tho I don't have to... I thought my
mom was normal, but im finding that I hate her more and more, ever single
day as I remember telling her about my dad abusing my sister and my brothers
said that they told her too... I said something to her a couple years ago,
and she denied it... anyway.;.. I need to deal with all that and I think
with some counceling,some ibo, and some love, that  I can deal with, and get
on with my life, not having to feel like a lost little kid at 32....



specializing in honda and yamaha motorcycle parts 1960-1989. if you need
anything call or email, we can get any part you need. new, and used, even if
the part is obsolete.


if someone you love is addicted to something (heroin, cocaine, meth, ect),
google ibogaine.... its worth your time..... i promise....

----- Original Message ----- 

From: chi <mailto:louchichi at hotmail.com>  malan 

To: ibogaine at mindvox.com 

Sent: Sunday, September 23, 2007 4:23 AM

Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Lee suboxone


>From: "LEE" <JUNKBOY64 at MSN.COM>
>Reply-To: The Ibogaine List <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
>To: "The Ibogaine List" <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
>Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] suboxone
>Date: Sat, 22 Sep 2007 19:08:18 -0600
>im starting to think, that's what I may do.... just reading on the list has

>gotten me to go look more into the suboxone, and its sounds just as scary 
>as methadone... I wont do the methadone, so I may go back to the morphine, 
>as I can get that about 100 times cheaper than the oxys..... im going to do

>a little more research and then decide... but so far, it sounds like doing 
>the short acting opiates will make things much easier with less problems 
>and depression......
hey Lee, long time know speak. after my semi failed attempt at ibo (it got 
me off methadone) i went 22mg of suboxone. for me, it is great. nothing like

methadone at all. kills the cravings and i dont feel like a zombie letting 
time slide past as i did on done. it was a bit hard a first for me ive had 
an anxiety problem my whole life and suffer from ptsd and suboxone does make

you very anxious for the first couple of weeks till you stablise. all that 
aside, i had another reduction last week and im now down to 16mg. the 
reductions are a lot easier than methadone reductions so you can take bigger

steps if you feel comfortable enough to do that.
i hope all goes well, best wishesm chi x

Advertisement: Your Future Starts Here. Dream it? Then be it! Find it at 
www.seek.com.au <http://www.seek.com.au/>  
ndtext_Future&_m=EXT> &_t=764565661&_r=SEP07_endtext_Future&_m=EXT

  -=[) ::::::: MindVox | Ibogaine | List Commands ::::::: (]=-
(][%]  :: http://mindvox.com/mailman/listinfo/ibogaine ::  [%][)
  -=[) :::: Change Account Settings :: [Un]Subscribe :::: (]=-

-=[) ::::::: MindVox | Ibogaine | List Commands ::::::: (]=-
(][%] :: http://mindvox.com/mailman/listinfo/ibogaine :: [%][)
-=[) :::: Change Account Settings :: [Un]Subscribe :::: (]=-




Take the Internet to Go: Yahoo!Go puts the Internet
in your pocket: mail, news, photos & more. 

-=[) ::::::: MindVox | Ibogaine | List Commands ::::::: (]=-
(][%] :: http://mindvox.com/mailman/listinfo/ibogaine :: [%][)
-=[) :::: Change Account Settings :: [Un]Subscribe :::: (]=-




Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! 
y=monopolyherenow>  Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy)
at Yahoo! Games.

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://www.mindvox.com/pipermail/ibogaine/attachments/20070923/73ade431/attachment.html>

More information about the Ibogaine mailing list