[Ibogaine] It's My Turn

Paul Brookshaw jiggy9 at hotmail.co.uk
Mon May 14 02:53:54 EDT 2007


Hello Matt,
              Nice post bro.
Kevin,
       One hell of a lot of bad anchoring there bro. Clean firteen years. 
Meaning?

when I first came to God and gave it all to him.                     Him?

Is God a man?

Male?

G= Gravity     O= Zero Gravity           D= Dimension  3D 4D etc

Concepts of mans mind.

God is all.

Creation.

Creation is femanine.

Man is the logic in the equasion.

Father Son and Holy Spirit.

Father of slavery.

I used to be seriously badly programed by mans mind.
Thinking that my fellow beings new better than I did.
I learnt that the little voice which we call concience is self truth. No 
disguise.
Be true to yourself.
What really counts is your relationship with self. Nothing else is important 
until you can get you sorted.
Funny how the rest just seems to fit in place after we learn to throw out 
the garbage.
Bad programming is just that. False info. Usully from an exterior source 
other than self.
No one in this world knows what is best for you other than you.
Keep things simple.
                                                 Paul'


>From: "Matthew Shriver" <Matt at ITSupport.net>
>Reply-To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
>To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
>Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] It's My Turn
>Date: Sun, 13 May 2007 09:14:32 -0600
>
>Hi Kevin
>
>
>
>My story is very similar to yours it sounds like.  My first drug of choice
>was alcohol.  I had no control and it eventually became a terrible problem
>for every area of my life (and everyone around me).  I had always
>experimented with other drugs (and certainly showed a powerful abuse
>potential within myself at an early age) but I had never found anything 
>that
>did what alcohol did for me, which was make everything "OK" for awhile.
>That was until I started using heroin.  Heroin did what alcohol did only
>much better with much less negative consequences and initially without any
>hang-over.  I thought it was a miracle cure for my alcoholism so I gladly
>switched from daily alcohol use to twice weekly heroin use.  Which of 
>course
>eventually progressed to daily heroin use with a rather severe "hang-over"
>from withdrawal.  So I too jumped on the methadone band wagon albeit much
>less willingly then I had switched from alcohol to heroin.  Eventually I
>found myself having been on methadone for as long as I had done heroin 
>prior
>to switching to methadone.  I was depressed, the methadone made me need
>about 14 to 18 hours of sleep a day so I never really could maintain a job,
>and to top it off I was still using heroin and cocaine on the side about
>once a month or so.  So basically everything they had told me about
>methadone when they encouraged me to sign up, and they absolutely did
>encourage me, was a lie. The ONLY thing methadone did was allow me not to 
>be
>dope sick.
>
>
>
>So anyway I used ibogaine to get off of the methadone and it worked.  If
>your health does not preclude you from the possibility then I strongly
>encourage you to give it a try.  I was on 74mg when I got off.  Without a
>doubt it was the single most positive thing that has ever happened to me in
>my whole life and by that I mean the whole experience not just the getting
>off of the methadone, although I don't want to minimize the importance of
>that part.
>
>
>
>It sounds like you have been to some 12 step meetings.  I would encourage
>you to change your perspective a little.  When you say you are 17 years
>sober, to my mind you are holding on to a meaningless milestone.  I did the
>same thing for awhile.  I went to AA meetings before I discovered heroin 
>and
>soon after as well.  I remember getting a 90 day chip while on heroin and 
>at
>the time I felt super glad to have the 90 days off of alcohol.  But
>ultimately it is pretty meaningless when you are just substituting one
>substance for another, at least that was my experience.  I think you should
>get clean from all drugs of abuse which includes methadone.  And by clean I
>mean whatever your definition of clean is, as long as you are not being
>dishonest with yourself about what it means.  Check inside yourself and you
>will find a little inner barometer that people call a conscience.  You can
>tell when that thing is making noise and when it is silent.  If it is 
>making
>noise then there is something that needs your attention. It's really that
>simple.  I'm sure if you pay attention you can already hear it making noise
>about the methadone, probably you have been aware of it for a long time.
>Listen to that thing, let it guide you.  This is my advice.
>
>
>
>Welcome to our little three ring circus here on the interweb.  Tink has 
>been
>around here for a long time although she doesn't post as often as she used
>to.  I think most of us who have been helped by ibo spread the seeds here
>and there.  I hope you find everything you are looking for.
>
>
>
>Matt
>
>
>
>   _____
>
>From: Bonnie [mailto:Laughlin56 at adelphia.net]
>Sent: Saturday, May 12, 2007 10:12 PM
>To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
>Subject: [Ibogaine] It's My Turn
>
>
>
>    My name is Kevin and I am a fifty year old man that's from your planet.
>Of course by that I mean I understand you folks and I am very grateful you
>understand me. My wife of eighteen years who loves me much more than I 
>could
>ever love me has never been stoned and since the day after our wedding has
>never had the thought or idea to get drunk. She can't understand why when
>asked by her doctor if she needs something for the pain and I groan loudly
>when she replies No thank you it makes me feel spacey and or sleepy. I am
>seventeen years sober and I still can't open and pour out a left over beer 
>a
>friend left from last night. I always say what? Man what a waste. I always
>kid and say don't you realize there's hundreds of drunks in Portland ( I am
>from Maine) who need that beer! Everyone who heard me say that laughs it 
>off
>as a joke but inside me I am very serious. I also know anybody from my 
>world
>knows what I mean.
>
>    I recently made a friend who goes by Tinker (tink for short) I haven't
>known her long but enough to know she's a person who really cares about all
>of us. By that I mean she's always ready to help a fellow addict. Anyways
>Tink is the one who introduced me to the idea of a ibogaine treatment. We
>met in line at the Methadone clinic. I'd been praying to God for such a
>person. I've been asking God to help me do the right thing. You see I've
>been going to the Methadone clinic for three years. Now please understand I
>really believe in the methadone treatment program. I believe it's a gift
>from heaven and has helped me tremendously. You see God removed alcohol 
>from
>my life back in 1990 but to keep me close to him he left a thorn in my 
>side.
>At first my drug use wasn't anywhere as distructive as being a fall down
>alcoholic drunk, but it has caused severe pain and heartache to me and my
>love ones.Since I stopped drinking my wife and I have had two children, 
>both
>boys. Kevin Jr. now fourteen and Michael who I might add was born with
>downsyndrome is thirteen. I've mentioned Michael because I need to tell you
>all I love Kevin Jr. like I've never loved anything else, but my son 
>Michael
>is, next to my wife Bonnie, the greatest gift ever given me. NOTHING in 
>this
>WORLD can touch me or move me better than Michael. This kid can reach right
>into your chest and touch your heart within five minutes of first meeting
>him. I sometimes think I love him to much.
>
>    It's time to get back to meeting Tinker in the Methadone clinic line.
>She's told me all about ibogaine and what it could do for me. I am so tired
>of needing and wanting to use drugs. I can't stand the hold Methadone has 
>on
>me. I want to change, I am ready to give up the thrill of it all. I want so
>much to be 100% there for Bonnie and the kids. I want so much to feel alive
>again. I'll never forget how wonderful I felt about everything when I first
>came to God and gave it all to him. Does anybody who hasn't gone through 
>the
>ibogaine treatment and is on methadone feel like they live two lives? I 
>have
>for years. Methadone is so unknown ( the treatment program I mean) to so
>many people I dare not make it known for fear of rejection. I pray so much
>for God to knock down the walls inside me and bring it to a once and for 
>all
>end.Now I know what you're thinking this guys sadly mistaken, it never 
>ends.
>I'll always be a drunk and an addict. Believe me nobody knows that better
>than me. It's just I want to have something else in me than a raincheck for
>another high. I need my spirituality to increase by ten. I realize this is
>going to call for some work. I mean after my treatment. I've been around
>long enough to know my walk has to line up with my talk. I'm just praying
>that the ibogaine treatment will change me from the inside. I always seem 
>to
>have the desire, it's my willingness that needs an overhaul. Please tell me
>what you think. I really need to hear from you folks that have been changed
>by the ibogaine treatment.
>
>Thank You
>
>Kevin
>

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