[Ibogaine] and the system(Randy)

Matthew Shriver Matt at ITSupport.net
Sun Oct 29 01:49:33 EDT 2006


This may get double posted but I posted it hours ago and it never showed up
so I am posting it again

 

I started going back to meetings at 4 days post ibogaine and if it wasn’t
for NA I seriously doubt I would have stayed clean. And I didn’t make any
effort to hide the fact that I got clean with ibogaine, but when I talked
about it people mostly just found it a curiosity and few people had any
interest in hearing any details.  At 2 years clean when I started talking to
people openly about taking ibogaine again for depression, no-one thought it
was a good idea.  And by that time everyone I knew and spent any amount of
time with was in NA, so I mean it when I say no-one.  Even friends who had
seen me use and then seen me turn it around with ibogaine didn’t think I
should do it again.  They all have the same prejudice prior to
investigation.  Ibogaine is a drug, ergo it is to be avoided like the plague
and anyone who takes it is using.  At 2 and ½ years clean I took ibogaine
for depression and it worked for me at the time.  But having been clean for
2 and half years I had forgotten how powerfully mind altering anything could
be much less how much ibo is and so when I was on it I thought to myself,
“anything this strong must be using.”  So while I didn’t regret taking it,
since my depression was lifted, I still announced in meetings that I had
taken a drug (I did not specify which one, but I gave some details like that
I had used it to get clean, that it was a hallucinogen, etc
) and that I was
changing my clean date.  But I also said that I felt this drug was different
and that I did not regret it in the least and for that I caught shit after
the meetings from old timers.  I meet with a group of men every Thursday and
everyone in the group is either in NA or AA but it is not a twelve step
meeting.  We just get together and share about what’s going on in our lives
and give each other feedback.  Anyway I have always been open with these
guys (and other people in recovery as well as my family) about ibogaine and
what my plans have been.  So anyway after another two months or so I felt it
was a mistake to change my clean date.  I don’t think that the way I have
taken ibogaine has been anything like the way I have taken other drugs.
There has been careful consideration and planning involved, I didn’t simply
take it as soon as it was in my hands, I took it under specific
circumstances.  I let people know all about it even when I knew they were
going to be dead set against it.  I did not attempt to sneak or hide it in
the least.  That is not using the way I understand using.  But when I shared
at a meeting that I felt that my changing my clean date was a mistake and
the reasons I thought so, once again I caught shit for it from some people.
So about 7 months after that I found myself once again depressed and
considering ibogaine.  But this time when I talked to people about it I
didn’t take it the NA community as a whole, I just shared with the guys in
the Thursday night group and with people who I trust.  And when I chose to
do it again they were the ones I talked to about it.  Some of them think I
should change my clean date again, some think I should change it back to the
original date of 3 and ½ years ago now.  Some think I should just live with
the choice I made and leave it where it is just to avoid having to make
explanations to the rest of NA.  It is absolutely true that there are
judgmental self-rightous idiots in NA.  But why wouldn’t there be, they have
them everywhere else after all.  I share the sentiment that NA and AA too
should be more open minded about ibogaine but I also understand that if they
open that door, then what happens with ayahuasca and who they hell knows
what else?  I don’t think that is something any of the twelve step programs
want to deal with.  Easier to keep the door closed on all of them then have
to figure out where to draw the line.  It will be interesting to see how the
issue evolves over time though with more and more people taking ibogaine to
get clean.

Matt

 

 

  _____  

From: BiscuitBoy714 at aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714 at aol.com] 
Sent: Saturday, October 28, 2006 1:34 PM
To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] and the system(Randy)

 

In a message dated 10/28/2006 2:57:21 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
jiggy9 at hotmail.co.uk writes:

He said. "Oh, that's cheating man. We don't swap one drug for another and I 
don't take mind altering substances, but you do look well.

Yep, been there done that. It was like a month after being treated for
methadone addiction and I went to my old home group in Erie PA. (I did get a
few things outta AA I must admit) It was a gratitude meeting and I stood up
and said I was grateful for the Bwiti tribe in Africa showing us the way
with Iboga and Ibogaine and it went over like a fart in a scuba tank. You
could hear a pin drop in there. I guess they figured I had finally
completely lost it. I had been going to that group for like 6 years off and
on, mostly on oxycontin  LOL  Anyway, I told my first sponsor about the
Ibogaine and how I had quit drinking for 6 years but I had never stopped
talking opiates, I was just never honest about it and I finally can be now,
he said the same thing to me. "We don't take drugs to get off of drugs." I
tried to explain to him about Bill W. doing acid in search of this effect
and he just pissed on it. I aint been back there since. I think if Bill W.
were alive today he would be all for it. O well, the narrow minded can just
stew in their disease, me, I'm going to do what ever it takes. I have fucked
up with alcohol a few times in the past couple of years but I aint givin'
up. I'll do another treatment too, it's just hard to talk myself into it, if
you know what I mean. I think you do. Ibogaine may be a mind altering
substance but it's a life changing substance too. It's medicine.

        Peace Love and Solidarity        Randy

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