[Ibogaine] neurosis

Matthew Shriver Matt at ITSupport.net
Mon Oct 16 23:32:56 EDT 2006



-----Original Message-----
From: slowone at hush.ai [mailto:slowone at hush.ai] 
Sent: Monday, October 16, 2006 9:04 PM
To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] neurosis



on my last significant 
ibogaine dose a few years ago, it was like a heavy iron blast door 
came sliding down as the experience started. Not much fun to ride 
out the experience locked out of oneself, but better than 
experiencing the trauma.


Slowone
Although your whole description of this scene was pretty vivid this part
struck a cord with me.  On one of my earlier ibo experiences, somewhere
around 15 to 18 mg/kg, I remember something like that.  There was this
endless procession of tribesmen, all identical.  They were dressed in animal
skin loincloths and carried spears and they were running overland from
tremendous distances all converging on one point.  That point was the
beginning of a cave and the cave went on for what must have been over a
mile.  At first it was just a rough wide tunnel but as it got deeper and
deeper it started to narrow and at some point these lanes or queues formed
with metal railings between and I could see the entire cave for miles filled
with all these identical tribesmen all lined up and proceeding down this
tunnel.  And they came to a huge door.  And I knew it was some part of my
inner self, my psyche; and at was sealed up tight.  Like so solidly closed
it could have withstood a nuclear blast.  And all these tribesmen lined up
against it and started pushing on it and the ones in back push on the ones
in front and this tremendously long line pushed and pushed.  And instead of
seeing the door open or give way, what happened is that the guys in front
started to get crushed against the door and the ones in back did not know,
they just surged forward as the line began to move and at the front they
were compressed into this intensely dense dark material.  It was pitch black
and made from the bodies of these guys being crushed into ultra-dense
matter.  That vision haunted me for quite some time afterwards.  I had not
thought of it in a long time until I read your description.  Thinking on it
now though it does not hold that same negative mental energy it used too.
Yes I think it was symbolic of a failed attempt by ibogaine to access
something deep in the recesses of my mind.  But now I have a different
understanding of the process of uncovering.  Or perhaps it is better to say
that after my more recent ibogaine experiences, I have a renewed
appreciation for the slow and thorough uncovering process as opposed to the
overwhelming flood.  Although I do believe there is a time and place for
each.
Matt





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