[Ibogaine] neurosis

firefly lik4luk at yahoo.com.au
Mon Oct 16 05:25:27 EDT 2006

Hey guys,
keep saving for treatment!!my ptsd is gone for now but I understand and accept so much from my life that had plagued my waking and sleeping time constantly and with 7yrs of the done and anit-depr and more I did have a high dose 1.7grams and I weigh 58ish kgs.I am so glad I did a big amount tho.I was rather toasted for about 3-4weeks and still have waves but my head is clear as 49days on.A friend reduced off done and got off the other "normal" way 6months ago and physicaly we are similar but my head is well clear compares to her.We go swimming together and her fitness is ahead but she has been swimming for longer.The comparisons in respect of the time difference are huge.Anyway save,plan,prepare and do it!!
loving freedom!!!
New Zealand.

----- Original Message ----
From: Luke Christoffersen <luke.christoffersen at gmail.com>
To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Sent: Monday, 16 October, 2006 9:28:01 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] neurosis

It could be.  It could be that the higher dose is trying to bring this
extremely deep trauma to the surface causing you the anxiety as it
comes close to consciousness

18 hours sounds like a very long labour.  It's not surprising you
would be afraid to go back to that place. It's hell. I've read from
people reliving their births in primal therapy that sometimes the
seemingly unending suffering with no escape makes some people feel
they want to die to end the pain.

I can at least have some consolation in knowing my birth was a quick
one but I'm still afraid of it even though it is causing me so much
misery and making life so hard at the moment it's crippling too me at
times and led me to abusing painkillers over the past two years.  I've
been saving up with the hopes of doing a ibogaine session which I've
been thinking about for the past 4 years practically.



On 10/15/06, slowone at hush.ai <slowone at hush.ai> wrote:
> Yes, I had a forceps delivery after 18 hours of labor. I think this
> trauma may be what makes for impassable anxiety with larger doses
> of ibogaine.
> On Sun, 15 Oct 2006 07:34:21 -0700 Luke Christoffersen
> <luke.christoffersen at gmail.com> wrote:
> >Hi,
> >    Perhaps you failed to get out naturaly by your own at birth.
> >Could you have been a forceps delivery?  I was and it seems to be
> >linked in to me being paralized and not so outgoing as I should
> >be.
> >
> >   I have often thought that there's no point to a career, it's
> >all
> >hopeless. I just give up trying because I already feel so deep
> >down
> >I''ve failed.
> >
> >Luke
> >
> >> I disappeared into books from age 5 through early adulthood. In
> >my
> >> late teens, I had a sense that it was finally time to connect
> >with
> >> people, to show myself and make my way in the world. I soon
> >found
> >> that whenever I was doing something well, particularly in
> >public, I
> >> froze. Whenever I felt something strong in myself, fear would
> >> immediately eat it away. If I felt desire, I'd shut down.  I
> >> couldn't decide what to do with my life - I hadn't asked to be
> >> born, so why should I choose a career? It was as if a firm
> >decision
> >> to live eluded me.
> >>
> >
> >
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