[Ibogaine] neurosis

slowone at hush.ai slowone at hush.ai
Sun Oct 15 14:36:55 EDT 2006

Yes, I had a forceps delivery after 18 hours of labor. I think this 
trauma may be what makes for impassable anxiety with larger doses 
of ibogaine. 

On Sun, 15 Oct 2006 07:34:21 -0700 Luke Christoffersen 
<luke.christoffersen at gmail.com> wrote:
>    Perhaps you failed to get out naturaly by your own at birth.
>Could you have been a forceps delivery?  I was and it seems to be
>linked in to me being paralized and not so outgoing as I should 
>   I have often thought that there's no point to a career, it's 
>hopeless. I just give up trying because I already feel so deep 
>I''ve failed.
>> I disappeared into books from age 5 through early adulthood. In 
>> late teens, I had a sense that it was finally time to connect 
>> people, to show myself and make my way in the world. I soon 
>> that whenever I was doing something well, particularly in 
>public, I
>> froze. Whenever I felt something strong in myself, fear would
>> immediately eat it away. If I felt desire, I'd shut down.  I
>> couldn't decide what to do with my life - I hadn't asked to be
>> born, so why should I choose a career? It was as if a firm 
>> to live eluded me.
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