[Ibogaine] neurosis

BiscuitBoy714 at aol.com BiscuitBoy714 at aol.com
Sat Oct 14 08:31:13 EDT 2006


 
In a message dated 10/14/2006 12:55:23 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,  
slowone at hush.ai writes:

Several  years have passed since I wrote the above. I have come a 
long way since  then, but still feel like I'm struggling. I found 
higher doses of ibogaine  (to 12.5 mg/kg) to bring on paralyzing 
anxiety. I like ayahuasca in  community musical settings nowadays. I 
had a spiritual rebirth experience  in the musical ayahuasca church 
Santo Daime that helped me feel reborn  after my painful processing 
of the iboga message. 

I've enjoyed the  ibogaine list and its predecessor for quite a 
while. A lot has happened  here, rebirth and death inclusive. So 
here's another
person emerging  from the shadows of those who don't tell their  
stories


Slowone, I don't know your name so that will have to suffice. You've been  
around here a lot longer than I have and I always read and respect what you have 
 to say. I'm glad you told us about yourself. When I read what you said about 
 your mother or parents, whatever, I had to say to myself that never happened 
 to you what's your excuse? I was loved everywhere I went. Well, I did have  
an aunt who insisted I wash my hair with tide and eat fried wheat germ but it  
was the same as what she did and she thought it was right. My brother and I  
still laugh about that shit now though so I guess it was worth it. LOL I'm so  
extroverted that it's always been easy for me to talk about myself and being 
a  musician all of my life just fueled a false ego that fed into me being so  
extroverted that I'm sure I got on everyone's nerves with it. So I guess what  
I'm saying is by reading what you wrote I realize that it wasn't easy for you 
to  do so, and I for one appreciate knowing a little about who you really 
are. I'm  curious about your aya experiences. Where you in Santa Fe with Jeffrey  
Braumfman"s church? Dana and I had breakfast with him and he seemed like such 
a  great dude I was just wondering. My search for true self, whatever scary  
realization that might entail, continues. I'd like to experience aya myself 
and  see where it takes me. Please tell me what you can, and send it off list or 
 whatever, just give me some insight on it. I'd really like to know more 
about  aya.        Randy
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