[Ibogaine] my reading list / spill it

Brad Hays bradleyheathhays at gmail.com
Thu Oct 12 14:45:09 EDT 2006

Hey there Matt...Yessir...Kurt Vonegut...another one of my favorite
clockhead authors.  From a family or architects in Indianapolis, so you know
he's a cracked nut!  Probably the only writer I've read straight
through...very wise, intelligent, and compassionate.  Makes great use of the
metaphore, which is possibly the greatest teaching tool ever.  Love his
depth of vision, which I'm afraid is right on.

Biscuit...actually I haven't had the experience yet, but if I had the moolah
I'm sure Id've already made the trip to Mexico or maybe even France.
Everything's ready here on my end...I'm just waiting for the 'solution to
present itself,' as the Jedi would say.  It's true that I'm looking into
ibogaine more for it's 'brain reset' properties than I am to help overcome
any sort of addiction.  Hard core drug addictions in other folks have always
scared the absolute shit out of me.  I've tried most of the crazy stuff but
I've always taken long breaks in between...which has been one of my better
'adult' decisions gotta say.

Ahhh...Thompson and Burrows, two of the four horsemen of the
sixties...forget the other two.  Yea all those guys ya mentioned are/were
great visionaries.  Suffered possibly because of too much understanding and
perception...can be a dangerous thing for the individual but better for
society on the whole.  Who was it wrote 'Naked Lunch?'  Now that was some
crazy ass shit.  Aparently the book came from four days of recorded
hilucinations one of these writers had while detoxing from an opiate

Gotta run now but thanks for reading my thoughts guys.

On 10/12/06, BiscuitBoy714 at aol.com <BiscuitBoy714 at aol.com> wrote:
>  In a message dated 10/12/2006 9:47:42 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
> Matt at ITSupport.net writes:
> So Brad, have you had an Ibogaine experience? Just wondering. I envy peeps
> who do it just because they want to. I had to for my addiction but want to
> do it again just for general purpose and research. It just might help me
> refrain from drinking too although I haven't drank in a few months now.
> Still.........................the devil juice awaits. Maybe that's why I
> love to read Bukowski, Hemmingway, Hunter Thompson,
> Burrows,...................wait a minute all these guys were drunks or
> addicts. I think I see a pattern here. I know a another former addict I want
> to read....................PATRICK PUT YOUR BOOK OUT. DAMN!!!        Randy
>  Hey Brad
> Sounds like you're human. Welcome to the monkey house.  Which since you
> are sharing your reading list I must say that Vonnegut is one of my all time
> favorites. (Welcome to the Monkey House is the title of one of his books for
> those who don't know it).
> Matt
>  ------------------------------
> *From:* Brad Hays [mailto:bradleyheathhays at gmail.com]
> *Sent:* Thursday, October 12, 2006 2:09 AM
> *To:* ibogaine at mindvox.com
> *Subject:* [Ibogaine] my reading list / spill it
> Well, found my name come up in another Ibogaine discussion group where a
> guy was wondering who this Brad Hays kid is anyway.   And I suppose I
> haven't given much personal information about myself, but then that's
> probably normal for me.   So, feeling that I'd like to stick around for a
> while, I figured it's time to go ahead and spill it…my story that is.
> I figure a reading list is a good a measure of character…so here's mine:
> Life of Pi – Yann Martel
> Siddhartha – Hermann Hesse
> Invisible Landscape: Mind Hallucinogens and the I Ching – Terence and
> Dennis McKenna
> The Prize: The Epic Quest for Oil, Money & Power – Daniel Yergin
> Synchronicity – Jung
> Breaking Open the Head – Daniel Pinchbeck
> Brief History of Time – Hawking
> Art of War – Sun Tsu
> Strange Brains and Genius: The Secret Lives of Eccentric…- Clifford A.
> Pickover
> Somewhere about six months ago my best artsy buddy shoved a book in my
> hand…another by Pickover called Sex, Drugs, Einstein & Elves.   Great read,
> specially the iboga and ayahuasca chaps.  Same day I find an article written
> by a local social activist/attorney explaining how easy it is for any man to
> become hooked on Oxycontin (which is a serious problem round here), and then
> introducing a possible solution in the form of iboga.   Reading about
> something called iboga twice…in the same day?…too weird.  Father Jung had
> clearly shown me a path, and at that moment I decided to take it on.
> For a very long time now I have been on the search for something, and what
> that is would be hard to say.  Answers maybe.  Answers maybe that'd help me
> put a framework around what I see happening here in the US and the world …
> and in myself.   I don't understand how we've gone so far astray, and I
> suppose my subconscious question has always been…and how do we get back on
> track?   Along those same lines another persistent question of mine has been
> how can one truly teach someone else? Or even, can it be done?   I've heard
> it said by greater minds that 'wisdom cannot be taught,' which is an idea
> I've reluctantly come to accept.   So when I started reading about how this
> plant teaches or gives the ability of celestial wisdom, well I knew I was
> going deeper in.
> 1995, the year my life took an unforeseen turn, when everybody else
> graduated college, and with my four years put in, I didn't.   I'd run out of
> money, and most importantly, had lost my ability to achieve.   I fell
> completely out of the loop, and had absolutely no success at redefining
> where my life was to go from there.   Looking back at the patterns in my
> life, I can see clearly that it was never the events themselves that had led
> me to where I was, but rather my inability to approach those 'obstacles.'
> I knew then that I had lost a very crucial part of who I was.  A calmness I
> had once known was no longer there.   Although the only diagnosis I've
> received is mild depression, I describe my brain like a hard drive that
> seems to keep spinning even though nothing is being asked of it.   This past
> year, in typical self-diagnosis fashion, I wanted to find out once and for
> all if I had a touch of the ol' ADD…maybe even hoping I did…as then there
> might be an answer…couple three figures later and no such luck.   If I had
> to guess, I'd say I'm mildly obsessive compulsive…and fairly anxious.  I've
> never felt compelled to count, wash, or self destruct, but I am certainly a
> creature of habit.   Anxiety runs through my entire family; and to greater
> and lesser degrees we've learned to cope with what is our lives.  We are all
> what I call 'sensitives,' very aware, and over analytical.
> 'So what brings you here today?' as any good therapist would ask…well,
> that'd be, you guessed it, my anxiety.  It's affected every aspect of my
> life, and my family's lives.   Jobs, friends, relationships, relationships,
> oh, and did I mention relationships.   I've basically taken myself out of
> the dating scene for a number of years now because of this hole that's
> developed in my self-esteem.   Something has happened where I no longer feel
> free to be me.   Some type of inhibition has grown into my life which I've
> yet to overcome.   And the fucked up thing is that I know I have so much
> potential.   My mother (who is truly a Superwoman) raised me so right and so
> open.  My values are where they should be, and I have very few hang ups
> accepting people for who they are.   On the rare days when my anxiety is
> gone and there is nothing left but me, I have the absolute best time with
> people, with everybody.   It's so strange that I have the utmost confidence
> in who I am and what I believe, but it never has the chance to come through
> cause of whatever it is that's been on my back for forever now.
> Just like your intestines can get a build up of junk in 'em from years of
> white bread and red meat, so it seems a man's mind can get gunked up from
> anxiety and bad experiences.   A brain 'reset?' as I've heard it
> described…sounds so nice.  I've come to think of ibogaine as the 'across the
> board multiple addiction stopper.'   The more I've come to understand my own
> anxiety, the more it appears to be an addiction of a thought process, much
> like a body's addiction to a drug.   My hunch is that the cause of these two
> different expressions of addiction may lie in the same neurochemical
> processes which ibogaine affects.  My hope is that this molecule, or an
> effective derivative thereof, will be found to be medically safe and sound;
> and that its widespread use brings the opportunity for a new beginning for
> all those whose lives it touches.
> Took a little longer than I wanted, but things always do.  But here I
> am…bam…Brad Hays.   Guess I should shut up now, but I can't leave without
> thanking everyone who has given their personal story, and how this treatment
> has affected their life…as this is one of the few places I find genuine
> encouragement.
> Welp…thanks for tuning in,
> Godspeed
> (city lights dim as I hit the send button)
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