[Ibogaine] To Callie
ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Wed Mar 29 01:02:35 EST 2006
Re: [Ibogaine] To Callie>Guess what? We got a record deal via Sleaze Sisters in London! Promos coming out next month. Being released on Universal Records.<
I've regretted not hooking up for coffee/whathaveyou when you wrote me Brenda (but hopefully you'll understand that I wasn't in exactly a decent state for meeting new people at that point), but I'm hoping too that you'll let us know when this promo is being released and that we'll get to have a listen.
Peace, love and lotsof respect.
"If God dropped acid, would he see people?" ~Steven Wright
Peace and love.
ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Editor Under the Influence
Cont. HighTimes mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
----- Original Message -----
From: brenda brewer
To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 28, 2006 11:41 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] To Callie
If you could entertain this thought for a moment: the "part of you that is addicted" is only one small part and does not have to run your life with all the physical and emotional side effects that comes with it. I'll speak to this more specifically in a moment.
When I took my final drink, I was on my 3rd drink. All of a sudden I had a transcendental experience where I looked at my hand and felt I was looking at someone else holding the drink (very common in the process of spiritual inquiry). I recognized that "I" was the one watching but it was not *really* I who was doing the drinking - not the real me anyway. It was my real first separation of myself and my addictive voice or addicted self (false self).
Now, at the secular recovery meetings I attend we talk about that addictive voice and the many ways it shows up - and we speak from our truer selves, the part of us not addicted - it is in there! In this way, we make the true part stronger, or bring it back to the forefront, and the addicted part weaker and it fades from our consciousness so we no longer identify with it. It may always be there, locked away, may try to re-emerge in times of stress, but we learn how to deal when and if it does.
Not knowing this kept me away from recovery for years - and I hated the word recovery! But, I am recovering and I will and I don't have to go to AA! Yee ha! And Ibogaine helps unravel the underlying causes so getting to therapy/aftercare asap is critical but not all is lost if one doesn't - as long as your alive there's hope :)
Oh. The financial part - yes, I was a mess. I was so desperate that I took one of those payday loans and paid like 400% interest when I returned. It was SO worth it though! But, I was ready to quit my music career last October - that how the alcohol had screwed up my brain. Guess what? We got a record deal via Sleaze Sisters in London! Promos coming out next month. Being released on Universal Records.
I almost lost all of that.
On 3/28/06 6:32 AM, "CallieMimosa at aol.com" <CallieMimosa at aol.com> wrote:
> Brenda, I am so happy for you.The information you offer is so very important
> to others who have not had the Ibogaine experience. Deciding to interrupt
> addictive behavior is a HUGE step. It is financially a big step too, so to go
> into the experience without a complete plan is a mistake. BUT, it is typical
> addict/alcoholic behavior to not have a plan for the months after.
> Being an addict I can say that desiring to get rid of addiction is probably
> number one on my 'wish list'. If I am honest though I will acknowledge that I
> can never be entirely rid of addiction. It is a part of who I am whether I
> like it or not.
> It is wonderful that you say you feel 'part of it all'. I know the feeling
> of alienating myself and feeling I am different from everyone. I usually blame
> that on other people thinking they are better than me but really it is I who
> feels I am not as good as everyone else.
> You keep on keeping on Brenda! Share your accomplishments and mistakes. To
> hear those things help me.
> toodles, Callie
House, Soul, Background vocals
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