sara119 at xs4all.nl
Mon Jun 26 10:47:33 EDT 2006
> The drinks I had really hit me there the other night. I
> have to say I'm not always in such a cynical mood. I do appreciate
> allot of things in my life, and I thank God I'm not living in some
> horrible place like Iraq or where they are staving and killing each
> other. On the other hand I feel alot of instense and overwhelming
> emotionall pain and suffering from my childhood washing around inside
> me each day which makes me miserable and incapacitated at times. I
> know that after my ibogaine treatments 4 years ago many repressed
> feelings were opened up, some of which were not healed that I have
> been struggling with since.
> What I said about drugs was just really the drink talking. I
> don't really feel any desire to seek out drugs. I drink 90% of what I
> used to years ago. I did take alot of painkillers recently because
> the tension and pain inside was preventing me from functioning
> properly during a day when I had things that needed to be done. I
> think all of us who abuse drugs do so to ease their emotional pains
> which if left undealt with will always plague our lives. I know
> ibogaine helped to heal some of my issues but the big demons are still
> there looming inside. I've been planning and thinking about doing an
> ibogaine treatment to face these issues once and for all but have been
> afraid. Afraid of the unknown and afraid of my own feelings.
well, I thank GOD too and appreciate the possibilities given to me to
help as many people as I can.
I must admit that I feel very fortunate to have done everything I wanted
to do and will stay creative.
what I have learned from my many Iboga experiences is that I only can
relate to the moment I'm living at without the mish-mash of the past
memories and experiences,
I can cry or laugh without to having to drink.
experiencing the light trails of the Iboga is like meeting with GOD again.
learning to live in the moment will teach you to let go of the pain and
fear, living your life to the fully.
sure there are forces that rather keep you a slave in your mind setting.
Iboga is a plant of freedom it shows you that you can change your reality
just by mixing some molecules together in your brain. well isn't that
miraculous that a change of the brain chemistry for some hours can change
a person for life.
well seeing that on a regular basics is what makes me feel very fortunate.
when you play a mind game then play it well and don't run away from the
game in the middle, trust your intelligent enough to play a game old fat
ladies do too.
More information about the Ibogaine