[Ibogaine] Searching

Sara Glatt sara119 at xs4all.nl
Sat Jun 24 00:43:33 EDT 2006

> I really want to be free of this shit.  I'm half pissed now and I
> can't take it anymore.  My life is a disaster of which I',m struggling
> to gain control over.  I'd take anything now booze, heroin, coke,
> speed, lsd, whatever just to feel different. i don't know I spend half
> my time being really healthy but I feel so tense inside that I need
> something to let go and enjoy life. The times i spend sober I half
> enjoy thinking i'm really engaging in life but underneath I know i'm
> not fullfilled no matter how i try and fool myself.  I need more, i
> want to cry on the alter and beg for release of this foolish escapade
> of dillusion.  I just want to be a human being agian, a whole human
> being fully here to enjoy life and to give to this world my full
> potentail without being compimised by problems. i've tried so hard to
> acomplish this but i've failed, i;ve failed again and again and yet
> here I am hoping to find change, a new way. In my heart I  want to
> find love and beauty and happiness shared but it's been so elusive
> that I've felt like falling down and giving up.  The heart longs for
> connection and understanding.
> Luke
> life is not everything.
you could go to a very poor place on the planet where they don't have
running clean water and hardly any food, then after few weeks there come
back to your home and be happy with a hot shower and the food you have.
you will start to appriciate what you have now when you miss it.

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