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Luke Christoffersen luke.christoffersen at gmail.com
Fri Jun 23 23:37:41 EDT 2006


I really want to be free of this shit.  I'm half pissed now and I
can't take it anymore.  My life is a disaster of which I',m struggling
to gain control over.  I'd take anything now booze, heroin, coke,
speed, lsd, whatever just to feel different. i don't know I spend half
my time being really healthy but I feel so tense inside that I need
something to let go and enjoy life. The times i spend sober I half
enjoy thinking i'm really engaging in life but underneath I know i'm
not fullfilled no matter how i try and fool myself.  I need more, i
want to cry on the alter and beg for release of this foolish escapade
of dillusion.  I just want to be a human being agian, a whole human
being fully here to enjoy life and to give to this world my full
potentail without being compimised by problems. i've tried so hard to
acomplish this but i've failed, i;ve failed again and again and yet
here I am hoping to find change, a new way. In my heart I  want to
find love and beauty and happiness shared but it's been so elusive
that I've felt like falling down and giving up.  The heart longs for
connection and understanding.

Luke



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