[Ibogaine] a newbie speaks

Preston Peet ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Wed Jun 14 21:31:05 EDT 2006

>The worst thing I remember was the Chief Psych Dr for ALL the ward asked me 
>if I ever had a spontaneous orgasm from withdrawing off opiates.I was so 
>sick and vulnerable tired and deperessed and all he was into was me 

Hate to say it, but it's happened to me waaaay more than once from 
withdrawals. Tweren't fun at ALL.

Peace, love and respect,

"Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often 
mistaken for madness"
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Editor "Underground- The Disinformation Guide to Ancient Civilizations, 
Astonishing Archeology and Hidden History"
Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs"
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste

----- Original Message ----- 
From: firefly
To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:41 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] a newbie speaks

Hey allyou fellas-the opiate free(nice job) and like me the planing to be 
opiate free real soon!
Well I'm 30(just)-I am a single mum of two boys,salem is 2.5yrs and josef is 
almost 7.I started using after anasty car crash that rooted my shoulda(ooo 
that pain) and had to sell my busy salon(not for a profit as it was only 
2yrs old).so with that devastation and pain came my "saviour"-morphine.loved 
it loved it began to hate it,blew all my veins used to spend ages with my 
hand in the sink of hot water waiting for my terrified wee veins to come 
hither-quite often ending up with as many holes as spongebob-bumjob!was 
using when I became preggy and got offered done"no way"said I and sumhow 
weaned myself off-all good,healthy baby boy!driving along da road one day 
toot toot wave etc.yupone of my old using buds.so it goes-"hey I'm just 
workin dwn the road from your house u keen for a taste?'  and we all know 
that snowball effect of just one taste.Iwas hitting up 'done one day(yeah eh 
dum as-"u'l loose that half life-wot a waste"blah blah)stuck the fit into 
the bottle,yup safety first for me back then!,started to plunge it into my 
arm felt funny airbubbles runnin up my arm looked down!aargh a fukin fitfull 
of air!!!I looked up at the veiw for wot I thought was the last time wot a 
disgusting feeling.Didnt put me off I just took more time to check wot I was 
doin in my rattling state.
Anyway once my Boy was able to crawlinto the kitchen or whereeva I was 
cookin/hittin up I couldnt do it any more.memba seeing a kid with his mums 
used fit stirring it round in her dregs-he was only 3.I was brought up with 
morals and they came back.So I have depression sumtimes real bad,didnt want 
to be treated as a junkie so took myself to the psych ward to do a 
detox(without their knowledge)I just knew if they were onto my using all the 
psych help would go out the window!all was ok,even tho I was sharing a room 
with a lady getting injected with opiates for neck pain!so one day i felt 
bad sore tum and nausea they gave me sum drugs and WOE I had a psych 
reaction and fuk was I tripping!!!so  my mate told the Dr's about my using 
in case that had a bearing-esp. coz I found my mates visitor was on the done 
and was buying that in the ward!SOOO I was rite all the Post traumatic 
stress or post baby depression or woteva just was forgotten.The worst thing 
I remember was the Chief Psych Dr for ALL the ward asked me if I ever had a 
spontaneous orgasm from withdrawing off opiates.I was so sick and vulnerable 
tired and deperessed and all he was into was me orgasming-asswipe!So my 
options were wait 10months to go on methadone through the pain clinic or 
5months for the programme through CADDS(community alc and drugs services).
So of course 5mnths was me-that was 6years ago and I've had enuf.My other 
Son was very sick 3days after he was born yup withdrawing from MY 
methadone,the guilt was unbearable.After slowly withdrawing him off 
pediatric morphine he is now fine.My mental state howeva has not really 
recovered.I need to get off this stuff that has caused me so much pain and 
guilt.Have reduced,hard work with two fulltime kids on my own.Then out of 
the blue my friend came to see me one night.Me at home drinking beer smoking 
pot lookin rather edgy."oh my god you remind me of my best mate(the amazing 
Kirk!) before she had this stuff-you need it too!'
And that was the beginning of my journey!So I'm plannin to go to aus in aug 
and do this thing!I feel like a selfish kid at times now all I think about 
is Me and Me taking Ibo and Me having no opiates in my 
bones,teeth,bloodstream etc.I'm so fukin amped I spend lots of time reading 
all your letters and various other sites info-ibeginagain etc.
so many emotions-fear-excitment-I'm sure you know.
Please any good advice as to how to prepare myself physically and mentaly 
for my freedom journey would be wunderbar!!!peace and love to all-my life is 
about to change and its great!!!!
I want back in the drivers seat of my body and mind.
Tanz from Dunedin nz.xx
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