[Ibogaine] Idid it! After 10 PM and still sober

brenda brewer shakti at photon.net
Fri Oct 28 19:51:30 EDT 2005


Beatrice,

I understand what you are saying...there is no time like the present no
matter how crazy things got this time.  I finally got that.  It helps that I
have insurance now...I haven¹t in 2 years and the county programs are lame.
I went to therapy intake and got to meet my new MD.  She¹s so cool!  I told
her what I am getting ready to do and she said, ³well.  A lot of things are
controversial.  Just because it¹s not FDA approved doesn¹t mean it won¹t
help you.  I fully support you doing whatever you think you need to do to
get better.²  :)  Oh, and she gave me a script for 35 Ativan.  She said I
want you  have enough to comfortable before you leave so you don¹t feel like
you have to go back to it if you have having symptoms.

I¹m not offended I¹m grateful.  Both of my brothers are really upset with
me.  My BF is one of those feeling proud of me.  I tell you, the love
strategy I think works better.  I am doing everything in my power,
counseling, working with an MD and going to treatment.

I¹m pretty beat.  Gotta buy my plane ticket now. :)

brenda

On 10/28/05 11:39 AM, "Beatrice Blue" <beatriceblue at cox.net> wrote:

> Brenda,
> 
> Really great to it!  Good for you!  I hope I don¹t offend by saying I¹m
> proud of you, but I am.  You¹re facing a lot of different stresses right
> now, but seem to know what you want and need and are focusing on it.  My
> only advice is keep with it.  Don¹t focus on everything being thrown at you.
> Stay focused on yourself and getting better.  For some reason, every time I
> went to do this, my entire life went crazy around me.  I mean much, much
> crazier than anything normal.  Throwing so much extra stress on the
> situation that I used it as an excuse to go back.  You see, I saw it as a
> sign it was not the time to do this, instead of what I now think it really
> is, the lifestyle trying to keep you.  I realized it would never get easier,
> never be a better time.  Once I realized that and that everything will still
> be there to deal with after I focus on myself, I did it.  I¹ve always been a
> caretaker, so it was very difficult for me to focus on only myself and my
> needs.  You¹re a step ahead.
> 
> May I ask how long until your session?  I have a very good, close friend who
> is also getting ready to do this for her alcohol addiction.  I know very
> little about it concerning that particular treatment.  I¹ve been told you
> must go through the shakes beforehand, is this true?  If so, you (and my
> friend) have a lot of courage and determination.  I truly applaud you for
> it.  I remember when I was still using, I quit cold turkey once, and then
> went back shortly after.  After that I had no courage to ever go through
> that again.  To know what¹s coming was hard for me.
> 
> Anyway, my prayers, chants, energy, everything is with you.  Try to keep a
> positive, focused attitude, and do this!  We¹re all here for you!
> Beatrice
> 
> PS ­ All you want that you listed before will click into place when you¹re
> better and able to focus on other things again.
> 
> On 10/27/05 10:49 PM, "brenda brewer" <shakti at photon.net> wrote:
> 

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