mcorcoran27 at yahoo.com
Wed Jun 22 10:19:22 EDT 2005
I think my monster is as asleep as its ever been. I feel as though I am currently operating in a real pre-addicted state this time around and I didn't have that the first time. That not to say that things are prefect because in so many ways my life is more unmanageable than its ever been. But I think I already established with you guys that for whatever reason I was much more functional for the most part on methadone and shooting dope than I am now in a lot of ways. Strange huh? I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I wasn't feeling any of my emotions 100% and now I'm feeling on such a new level and as a result I'm pretty scattered a lot of the time and I am having a very hard time concentrating on just about anything. Especially work! But I realize that its a process and as long as I roll with the punches (no pun intended) and feel its all gonna work out fine. So nice not waking up sick anymore. So nice to be able to walk around and feel like everybody else does. So nice to
know I can go anywhere. I don't have to be married to a bag or stuck in liquid handcuffs one more day. Its all gonna come together. I really like not being a slave even if it means I currently have the attention span of a 12 year old. It'll all come together.... i hope.
So... I'm happy to report after meeting with the doctor they have concluded that everything in the maxillary area is healing on its own and he only wants to go in now if the area ends up flat which it doesn't appear to be doing. As for my nose its really not that bad but he has promised to fix it in a few weeks if I want. My vanity might force me to go along with that one but at least its not right now. And that wont be nearly as invasive as full facial surgery. So I'm relieved. Going back for another C.T. but I'm quite sure that this is what it is.
I'm so relieved I don't have to deal with the though of being on a morphine pump or having to eat oxy's in the immediate future. I don't know if that would have been the best thing for me right now. ;o)
Anyone who has access to a decent magazine shop there is a big article on the Underground Project in the July / Aug issue of Tokomo. Very fittingly it is the "do it yourself" issue. Most of you will recognize some faces.
"VanAllen, Keith G." <VanAllK at sutterhealth.org> wrote:
The "Monster" only pretends to sleep anyway.....(not to be negative)
From: Schmoolyboy at aol.com [mailto:Schmoolyboy at aol.com]
Sent: Wednesday, June 22, 2005 6:24 AM
To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] painkillers
Ultram is contraindicated for those who have had opiate addiction. It can re-awake the "Monster".
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