[Ibogaine] Hard time

tink tinkerbell.sarah at gmail.com
Sun Jul 3 12:50:29 EDT 2005

The whole reason you found this list is so you can do exactly
that;post your freak outs when you need to!!  Gawd know i have. i
think we all have, in one way or another...and if you're posting,
that's another few minutes where you AREN'T using.
When I went through six weeks of detoxing off of suboxone, this list
and the encouragemnet I got kept me alive and as close to sane as I
At 48 hours, I know what kind of basket-casey mess I was, and you have
every ounce of love, serenity and support I can possible find within
me being sent your way.  For me, I know that everything seems
incredibly amplified, and everything appears to be far worse than it
often is, because I feel all of those emotions that I've stuffed deep
into the nether-regions of my own hellish thoughts.  Take hot baths,
learn how to count to ten in japanese, keep posting, and I'll do my
best to do what I can to help you through it.
You are a brave and beautiful person!! You can do this!
Even if it feels like the end of it all at the moment, the moments add
up and eventually it's over.
Email me if you'd like to.
You are loved and being thought of, and help is being sent in everyway it can...

On 7/3/05, VanAllen, Keith G. <VanAllK at sutterhealth.org> wrote:
> I'm having a real hard time right now and there's no one I can really
> talk to so I'll post my issues here. I'm sketching pretty bad. I don't
> know how else to put it, there's no pretty way of say it. I haven't had
> anything in about 48hrs and I don't know what to do, I'm shaky and my
> body hurts. I hurt so bad and I'm at work. I work in an office and am in
> my cubical on a Sunday just hoping I don't get fired...I was so
> confident yesterday and now I just want. This sucks so bad and I'm sorry
> for posting this here...I'm not sure what the rules are on this list. I
> don't think I could keep this job if I go check in right now, plus the
> others would find out, you know, the people who do not need to be hurt
> anymore. EVER! I wish I could disappear without causing anyone pain...I
> just have to keep telling myself that their pain would be greater than
> my own. There's not really a whole lot of words for how I'm feeling so I
> won't go on.
> Just a frustrated note,
> Keith
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