[Ibogaine] Francis and Nick

Nick Sandberg nick227 at tiscali.co.uk
Sat Jan 29 06:03:02 EST 2005



> -----Original Message-----
> From: Carla Barnes [mailto:carlambarnes at yahoo.com]
> Sent: 28 January 2005 01:32
> To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Francis and Nick
>
>
> Francis.......... you're being a grouch ;-)
>
> Hi Nick, you haven't posted too much in the last year
> but aren't you one of the people who might have a lot
> of personal feelings about drug addiction due to one
> of your family members being a junkie? I'm sorry I
> don't remember if it was your son or your brother, but
> there was someone in your family youve dosed with
> ibogaine a lot of times and no matter what you tried
> or wanted them to do they would not get clean.
>
> In spite of all your self awareness, isn't it possible
> you might have a teeny little bit of anger at them?
> ;-)
>

Hi Carla,

Yes, it's true, my adoptive brother Ken has had a long term heroin problem
in the past and in the late 90s I tried to help him with ibogaine.
Currently, he claims to be clean but I have my doubts, personally. Yes, I
did use to get very pissed off when I tried to communicate with him and felt
I couldn't really get through to him. However, this doesn't really drive me
crazy or anything, though it does still upset me at times. I mean, long
before he was a druggie he was spaced out and I learned to find people that
could communicate with me and not just put it on him that HE had to change.
Though for him, it's true I also think it would be fine if the government
took a stronger stance. And, yeah, if it happened, he would ring me up and
tell me they're being nazis or whatever.

Really, to be honest, I feel like I've learned a lot from these dialogues
about just where people who are coming toward ibogaine actually are in terms
of coming towards getting off drugs. Now that ibogaine's getting bigger in
the UK, I've people on at me daily to help them get it (I run a website on
ibogaine). What I see more and more is that a lot (by no means all) of the
people that ibogaine attracts just want something that's going to take all
their problems away without them having to move their whole position in life
even one millimetre. Well, in my experience it's not impossible that could
happen but it is relatively unlikely.

Same thing in these dialogues. Granted it's only a few people that respond
but basically all I have said is that I support the German government in its
moves to curb addiction and that sometimes I feel like dragging people out
of their homes to participate in life a bit more. From this it's like, I'm a
nazi or it's to do with the jews in the war or Christ knows what. To me, to
be honest, this is just the basic layer of resistance the psyche has to the
idea of change. I see it when I'm doing therapist work all the time. People
want to shoot me up with gear, well, so what, I could do with a bit more
rest at times anyway. Preston's there shaking his head so much it's about to
fall off or something, yeah well that's life.

And hey, Francis, I like what you write. You have guts, man. Yeah, this is
the IBOGAINE list, not heroin-excuses.net. It's true you can write anything
you want on this list but if you want to take a stand on addiction in a
meaningful way, then you have to be able to take a bit of shit. Keep doing
what you're doing, guy, cause you've got the guts and that's what's needed.

With love

Nick





> Am I wrong? I know Marc Emery used to deliver up these
> 20 page rants about why junkies are sick and potheads
> are healthy. Couldn't have had anything to do with his
> son being a junkie ;-)
>
> Love to all, especially to everyone writing 15 angry
> letters to the list each day! :-)
>
> Carla B
>
> --- The Garden <GardenRestaurant at comcast.net> wrote:
>
> > Hi Nick!!
> >               Your post generate a lot of turmoil
> > :-)
> > That all good, I mean this is free mailing list. You
> > have few people
> > who are
> > acting like they own the list and want to control or
> > censure everything
> > that
> > they don't like.
> >
> > To keep simple :I have made a small list of  taboo
> > subjects:
> >
> > TTR subjects: when someone try to explain an addict
> > how to Take Total
> > Responsability for his own action.
> > Spiritual subject : rejection by some of the
> > contribuitors of anything
> > relating to the spiritual realm.
> > Help subjects: " don't try to help me , I am doing
> > good, let me shoot my
> > dope "
> > AA and NA subjects: " thoses f......g  hugers"
> > Character defects : " don't tell me I am selfish,
> > dishonest, lazy...ect
> > "
> > Judgment : " nothing is wrong, nothing is bad.... "
> > Restriction or control of drugs availability.
> >
> > Here is the list   of hip subjects that will work to
> > make new friends
> > and
> > eventualy get laid , if you are in New york area
> >   You should seriously take in consideration this
> > bag of tools
> > Drugz
> > Music ( avoid classical and religious )
> > Movies
> > How much I use to shoot
> > Self justification
> > You scrach my back, I scrach your back
> > Flattery
> > Drugz pop culture.
> > Atheism
> > Outrage to the hypocrisy of various institutions and
> > organizations,
> > specialy
> > religious.
> >
> > God bless
> > Francis
> >
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "Preston Peet" <ptpeet at nyc.rr.com>
> > To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
> > Sent: Thursday, January 27, 2005 8:33 AM
> > Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine and scary fascism
> >
> >
> > > Nick wrote >Then I thought about this dialogue for
> > while, and whether
> > > I'm
> > > like
> > > totally off for writing like this, and I realized
> > I'm totally fine with
> > it.
> > > If the German government wants to push addicts who
> > are fucking up a bit
> > > harder, I think it's ok. That's my position.<
> > >
> > > And I still ask, so how do you feel about someone
> > else who feels
> > completely
> > > opposite to you forcing you, or pushing you
> > towards their viewpoint by
> > > force? Is that cool too, or is it only cool to
> > force other people to
> > > your
> > > viewpoint Nick?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Peace and love,
> > > Preston Peet
> > >
> > > "Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for
> > enlightenment is
> > > often
> > > mistaken for madness"
> > > Richard Davenport-Hines
> > >
> > > ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
> > > Editor http://www.drugwar.com
> > > Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation
> > Guide to Drugs"
> > > Editor "Mysterious Roots- The Disinformation Guide
> > to Ancient
> > Civilizations,
> > > Explorations and Enigmas" (due out Sept. 2005)
> > > Cont. High Times mag/.com
> > > Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
> > > Columnist New York Waste
> > > Etc.
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: "Nick Sandberg" <nick227 at tiscali.co.uk>
> > > To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
> > > Sent: Thursday, January 27, 2005 5:27 AM
> > > Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] ibogaine and scary fascism
> > >
> > >
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>> -----Original Message-----
> > >>> From: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet at nyc.rr.com]
> > >>> Sent: 27 January 2005 00:35
> > >>> To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
> > >>> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine and scary
> > fascism
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>>> Get your shit together and do it. Heroin's days
> > are
> > >>> numbered, man.<
> > >>>
> > >>> I'm not taking heroin.
> > >>> Though there have been a couple times over the
> > last few years
> > >>> where I have
> > >>> relented and bought a bag or three, those times
> > were extremely
> > >>> few and far
> > >>> between and are a while past now. Not a year
> > yet, but over half at
> > least,
> > >>> probably closer to nine months or so since last
> > time I did that.
> > >>>
> > >>>> If you find
> > >>> these emails scarey then, fuck man, recognize
> > that - you get scared
> > >>> by
> > >>> emails suggesting you're gonna be pushed into
> > looking harder at
> > >>> yourself. It
> > >>> provokes a big reaction, look at that. You're an
> > aware guy. Check it
> > >>> out.<
> > >>>
> > >>> You're missing the point Nick.
> > >>> The scary thing about your emails is that you
> > seem to be serious,
> > >>> that you
> > >>> support forcing other people to submit to your
> > views by force. This
> > >>> is
> > >>> mostly scary to me because I'm just now
> > discovering this, and now I'm
> > >>> concerned because I don't know what I've
> > divulged on list you may
> > >>> have read
> > >>> and will one day decide to rat me or someone
> > else out over
> > >>> because you think
> > >>> it would do us good to have someone drag us out
> > of our homes and
> > >>> teach
> > us
> > >>> the better, or your way anyway. That's what
> > scares me, not
> > >>> looking harder at
> > >>> myself. I don't have a single problem with that
> > particular issue,
> > >>> of looking
> > >>> deep and hard within myself, and that you might
> > think I do have
> > >>> issue with
> > >>> that is another thing that leaves me shaking my
> > head, considering
> > >>> just how
> > >>> open I am and always have been about myself and
> > my feelings and
> > >>> emotions on
> > >>> this list. The reaction is notr the looking
> > inside myself, it's
> > >>> you thinking
> > >>> it's ok to force others to your way of living
> > and thinking. That's a
> > >>> terrible way to go through life in my opinion,
> > and I'm glad I'm
> > >>> not somehow
> > >>> under your control. That's a fate I am glad I've
> > so far escaped
> > >>> and hope I
> > >>> continue to do so for a long, long time.
> > >>>
> > >>
> > >> Hi Preston,
> > >>
> > >> Yeah, well, personally, I had a nice scream and
> > shout for 10 minutes
> > this
> > >> morning. Then I thought about this dialogue for
> > while, and whether I'm
> > >> like
> > >> totally off for writing like this, and I realized
> > I'm totally fine
> > >> with
> > >> it.
> > >> If the German government wants to push addicts
> > who are fucking up a
> > >> bit
> > >> harder, I think it's ok. That's my position.
> > >>
> > >> love
> > >>
> > >> Nick
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>> Peace and love,
> > >>> Preston
> > >>>
> > >>> "Madness is not enlightenment, but the search
> > for enlightenment is
> > often
> > >>> mistaken for madness"
> > >>> Richard Davenport-Hines
> > >>>
> > >>
> > >>
>
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