[Ibogaine] Pain killers and group therapy

BiscuitBoy714 at aol.com BiscuitBoy714 at aol.com
Wed Jan 26 12:40:05 EST 2005

Preston, I think you know how I feel about pain killers. I love 'em, but they 
don't love me. It isn't the dope that I don't like, it is what my addiction 
made me do that I didn't like. Flipping out on my family when I was short on 
dope, or out completely, having to bow to some mother fucker I can't stand to 
get a hook up, and being so emotionally unstable that no one would trust me with 
good or bad information. If I had a Doc who would give me all the dope that I 
needed I don't know if I ever would stop. I never could find that Doc. AA  
helped me and AA kept my addiction going too. I would go to an AA group and talk 
about drugs and some old timer would tell me to keep my discusion to alcohol 
and the problems it caused. Well in that case I can do all the dope I want and 
still be OK as long as I don't drink. I had a script, maybe not for the oxy's 
I was doing, but I had a script. Look at me I haven't had a drink in 5 years, 
just don't look too close at my veins. Fuck that. I go to meetings to get 
what I want now. I don't fall for all the bullshit anymore. My peace of mind is 
my own, I don't need somebody to tell me if I'm happy or clean enough or what 
the fuck ever. I feel for you dude. I wish I could say something that would 
help you. All I can say is that I send you my love and that I have a supreme 
desire for you to be happy and relatively pain free. I don't know about scream 
therapy, but I do know that when shit gets bad I crank up the jams till my ears 
ring, and it helps.        Randy

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