[Ibogaine] cynicism and ibogaine

Preston Peet ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Tue Jan 25 19:05:01 EST 2005


Nick wrote in somewhat something fashion >Can you really tell if something
won't work for you if you don't go fully into it, just to see, without a
pre-conceived attitude or cynicism? Just seems to me you might be missing
out. Having been a closed individual, determined to maintain my own sense of
uniqueness, at the cost of any meaningful development, for years, I really
appreciate the openness I find these days from a few years of doing groups,
ibogaine, whatever. Coming out of the vaulted palace of the ego, with its
preconceptions of who I am, to test these beliefs in the wider world, it's a
gift, man, the greatest journey there is.<

Well Nick,
    I gotta say first someone else recently noted you write with a 
particular tone that's somehow, oh, what was the word, condesending? 
Haughty? I can't remember, but think it was something along these lines. I 
don't think you mean it that way, I really don't (but what the hell, I could 
be wrong), so I try to overlook it and put it down to my own idiocyncracies, 
but....
    I could swear I did mention those -A rooms in my very last post before 
this one. As far as I can tell those myriad meetings in rooms full of other 
people talking about the same topics I was would probably qualify as 
"groups." I've done them many times (and not just in the -A rooms either) 
over many years. I've also gone the one-on-one counseling route too, more 
than twice. I guess it comes down to what helps each of us be most happy and 
comfortable- and it ain't always the same for each of us, funny enough. 
Counseling and groups always leave me feeling really gross and icky, so I'm 
glad you enjoy them but I can't freakin' stand them, not at all. They irk 
me, or rather, I always seemed to end up irking myself when I found myself 
in one.
    I think I'm gonna leave it at this though, as I'm not sure how 
comfortable I am with the tone of your note (no offense to you at all in the 
least, just stating that I get kinda grrrr when someone implies things about 
me based on themselves and their own outlook on things, and starts causually 
throwing around such niceties as "you've got ego trouble" and "you're too 
focused on being unique," and other interesting but baseless commentary). 
What works for you is great and I'm glad it does- but please do try and 
refrain from thinking, or worse, calling me a "closed" person etc, etc.), so 
want to think about it a while and decide whether I'll post more reply or 
just shunt it into the "already been there and answered that enough" pile.


Peace and love,
Preston

"Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often 
mistaken for madness"
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs"
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Nick Sandberg" <nick227 at tiscali.co.uk>
To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
Sent: Tuesday, January 25, 2005 6:39 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] cynicism and ibogaine


>
>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet at nyc.rr.com]
>> Sent: 25 January 2005 22:07
>> To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
>> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] cynicism and ibogaine
>>
>>
>> Hi all,
>>     Nick asked,
>>
>> >Correct me if I'm wrong here - basically you
>> want to get off and stay off drugs, but you want to do it on your own
>> terms.<
>>
>> No Nick, getting off and staying off drugs isn't really my goal
>> at all, not
>> at this time anyway. I have no desire whatsoever to go through surgery.
>> Until I do find something else that helps me cope with being inside such
>> constantly angry nerve endings, I'll continue to rely on drugs to
>> assist me
>> with that coping. At the moment, despite moments of panic because I
>> occasionally do too many and leave myself short, I've been able to resist
>> going to the streets to cop to suppliment my intake. It's not
>> always fun or
>> easy being addicted though, so I'd like the option of trying
>> something along
>> the lines of ibogaine maintenence. Some might not personally
>> agree with this
>> idea, but personally? I think that if I'm going to be using opiates (the
>> physically safest, least toxic pain killers I've ever come across, not to
>> mention most effective) for a while to come, I'd like to have the
>> option of
>> what's been described to me as "resetting." Where I can take a
>> dose, kill my
>> tolerance and habit, bring it back down to much smaller levels, and if I
>> need to do it again at some point down the road, by golly I want
>> to be able
>> to do just that without being told "you only get so many chances or you
>> gotta find a new source." (Of course, this is assuming I have a
>> source, and
>> at the moment- listening feds?- there ain't no source. I'm thinking of
>> possibilities for down the road, because at the moment there
>> ain't no source
>> to be found and I could use one. Got it Feds who might still be
>> listening/reading?)
>>     So with the "no source" thing in mind, remember please that
>> I'm mainly
>> just venting, not addressing this at anyone in particular,
>> although I admit
>> I am basing some of my statements on certain comments said to me at
>> different times by this and that friend. But yes Nick, I do want to do
>> things on my own terms. I'm so freakin' sick of being told I have
>> to conform
>> to this or that label, that I'm this or that because I do or
>> don't, use or
>> don't use, vote or don't vote, hate or don't, etc. While as it
>> was said to
>> me in a variety of -A rooms at a variety of times, "it was your own best
>> thinking that got you here," well, I ain't still in those rooms, and I've
>> been making something of myself beyond a conniving street denizen
>> despite my
>> need for and use of (for a long, long time now pretty much almost always
>> legal) opiates. So to wrap it up, nope, don't want off drugs,
>> just to have
>> the option of having ibogaine to drastically reset the habit.
>>     Any thoughts anyone?
>>
>> Peace and love,
>> Preston
>>
>
> Hey Preston,
>
> I'd just point out that the human body and mind are just machines at the 
> end
> of the day. Your personality is unique in that everything is unique, but
> it's just a structure. And, research has shown, if you put that 
> personality
> through the processes of therapy it becomes a lot more efficient - a lot
> calmer and happier, more capable of getting its needs met directly, a lot
> more grounded. In early life, people develop a fascination with proving to
> themselves their own uniqueness, and that's fine, but it usually wears off
> with advancing years and a more practical approach develops. What I'm try 
> to
> say is....does it really matter so much what you do with therapy, ibogaine
> or whatever? That you have to conform to someone else's protocol - is it
> really such a big deal? I mean, where do you have a way of evaluating
> something if you haven't tried it anyway? Can you really tell if something
> won't work for you if you don't go fully into it, just to see, without a
> pre-conceived attitude or cynicism? Just seems to me you might be missing
> out. Having been a closed individual, determined to maintain my own sense 
> of
> uniqueness, at the cost of any meaningful development, for years, I really
> appreciate the openness I find these days from a few years of doing 
> groups,
> ibogaine, whatever. Coming out of the vaulted palace of the ego, with its
> preconceptions of who I am, to test these beliefs in the wider world, it's 
> a
> gift, man, the greatest journey there is.
>
> with love
>
> Nick
>
>
>
>> "Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
>> mistaken for madness"
>> Richard Davenport-Hines
>>
>> ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
>> Editor http://www.drugwar.com
>> Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs"
>> Cont. High Times mag/.com
>> Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
>> Columnist New York Waste
>> Etc.
>>
>>
>
>
>
> 
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