[Ibogaine] cynicism and ibogaine

Nick Sandberg nick227 at tiscali.co.uk
Tue Jan 25 18:39:12 EST 2005



> -----Original Message-----
> From: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet at nyc.rr.com]
> Sent: 25 January 2005 22:07
> To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] cynicism and ibogaine
>
>
> Hi all,
>     Nick asked,
>
> >Correct me if I'm wrong here - basically you
> want to get off and stay off drugs, but you want to do it on your own
> terms.<
>
> No Nick, getting off and staying off drugs isn't really my goal
> at all, not
> at this time anyway. I have no desire whatsoever to go through surgery.
> Until I do find something else that helps me cope with being inside such
> constantly angry nerve endings, I'll continue to rely on drugs to
> assist me
> with that coping. At the moment, despite moments of panic because I
> occasionally do too many and leave myself short, I've been able to resist
> going to the streets to cop to suppliment my intake. It's not
> always fun or
> easy being addicted though, so I'd like the option of trying
> something along
> the lines of ibogaine maintenence. Some might not personally
> agree with this
> idea, but personally? I think that if I'm going to be using opiates (the
> physically safest, least toxic pain killers I've ever come across, not to
> mention most effective) for a while to come, I'd like to have the
> option of
> what's been described to me as "resetting." Where I can take a
> dose, kill my
> tolerance and habit, bring it back down to much smaller levels, and if I
> need to do it again at some point down the road, by golly I want
> to be able
> to do just that without being told "you only get so many chances or you
> gotta find a new source." (Of course, this is assuming I have a
> source, and
> at the moment- listening feds?- there ain't no source. I'm thinking of
> possibilities for down the road, because at the moment there
> ain't no source
> to be found and I could use one. Got it Feds who might still be
> listening/reading?)
>     So with the "no source" thing in mind, remember please that
> I'm mainly
> just venting, not addressing this at anyone in particular,
> although I admit
> I am basing some of my statements on certain comments said to me at
> different times by this and that friend. But yes Nick, I do want to do
> things on my own terms. I'm so freakin' sick of being told I have
> to conform
> to this or that label, that I'm this or that because I do or
> don't, use or
> don't use, vote or don't vote, hate or don't, etc. While as it
> was said to
> me in a variety of -A rooms at a variety of times, "it was your own best
> thinking that got you here," well, I ain't still in those rooms, and I've
> been making something of myself beyond a conniving street denizen
> despite my
> need for and use of (for a long, long time now pretty much almost always
> legal) opiates. So to wrap it up, nope, don't want off drugs,
> just to have
> the option of having ibogaine to drastically reset the habit.
>     Any thoughts anyone?
>
> Peace and love,
> Preston
>

Hey Preston,

I'd just point out that the human body and mind are just machines at the end
of the day. Your personality is unique in that everything is unique, but
it's just a structure. And, research has shown, if you put that personality
through the processes of therapy it becomes a lot more efficient - a lot
calmer and happier, more capable of getting its needs met directly, a lot
more grounded. In early life, people develop a fascination with proving to
themselves their own uniqueness, and that's fine, but it usually wears off
with advancing years and a more practical approach develops. What I'm try to
say is....does it really matter so much what you do with therapy, ibogaine
or whatever? That you have to conform to someone else's protocol - is it
really such a big deal? I mean, where do you have a way of evaluating
something if you haven't tried it anyway? Can you really tell if something
won't work for you if you don't go fully into it, just to see, without a
pre-conceived attitude or cynicism? Just seems to me you might be missing
out. Having been a closed individual, determined to maintain my own sense of
uniqueness, at the cost of any meaningful development, for years, I really
appreciate the openness I find these days from a few years of doing groups,
ibogaine, whatever. Coming out of the vaulted palace of the ego, with its
preconceptions of who I am, to test these beliefs in the wider world, it's a
gift, man, the greatest journey there is.

with love

Nick



> "Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
> mistaken for madness"
> Richard Davenport-Hines
>
> ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
> Editor http://www.drugwar.com
> Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs"
> Cont. High Times mag/.com
> Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
> Columnist New York Waste
> Etc.
>
>




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