[Ibogaine] cynicism and ibogaine

Nick Sandberg nick227 at tiscali.co.uk
Tue Jan 25 10:56:41 EST 2005

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet at nyc.rr.com]
> Sent: 25 January 2005 00:10
> To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
> Subject: [Ibogaine] cynicism and ibogaine
> dh wrote, in reply to the notion that ibogaine is an anti-cynicism
> substance:
> >100%, Pure, unadulterated... Bullshit.
> no additives or preservatives, either.
> Virgin Bullshit.<
> Yeah, to pipe up here, while I might not put it quite as harshly, feeling
> slightly more huggy this evening than snarly, I gotta agree with
> dh here, as
> this is pretty much bologna.
> I was still and am still quite the freakin cynic, despite two
> times taking
> ibogaine (although someone told me the second time didn't really count,
> because even though I was trying to get another treatment, someone
> apparently thought I didn't really know what I needed and so
> didn't supply
> quite the amount I thought I was getting so it was considered not a
> treatment per se but rather a psychospiritual effort. While I did
> use that
> term when expressing my desire to go again so soon after the
> first time, I
> also noted my desire to further explore issues I'd touched on first time
> round, but I digress- let me get back to the cynism). Things were
> nice and
> glowy when I first did ibogaine, I mean immediately afterwards,
> but I knew
> even then that wouldn't last and felt weirded out by that. I've not yet
> admitted this publicly I don't think, not to anyone but V I don't
> think, but
> as soon as I came out of the nausea and dizziness, I was very
> depressed the
> second time 'round, and truly felt that I had just completely negated the
> first experience, right there. As soon as I was able to sit up,
> in less than
> 12 hours, (which was another signal to me that something wasn't
> quite right,
> that I hadn't taken the amount I'd expected to be taking), I felt
> that I had
> not gotten in nearly as far as I'd needed and expressed the desire to do,
> that I hadn't this time been to the holodeck, not seen a single
> vision, not
> had much of any experience the second time round but feeling ill and
> disappointed and in a very black mood when finished (and I want
> to go again
> sometime- what am I thinking? LOL).
>     I feel personally that a provider, depending upon the situation
> actually, but a provider on the black market, shouldn't necessarily be
> abritrary about how they supply those who want to buy their
> wares. I would
> feel almost resentful if a provider tells me things along the
> lines of, "we
> don't want to treat people more than twice, and if it doesn't work in two
> times we're going to recommend they go elsewhere, out of their own
> environment, to do it again, with someone else like Sara perhaps, or the
> folk in Mexico." Now, I'm not at all saying there's anything even
> remotely
> wrong with taking ibogaine in Mexico or with Sara- I'd love to take it at
> Sara's someday actually. But I don't want to be told "it's this way, our
> way, or no way at all." I don't want to be told that I must go
> see this or
> that psych-type person for counseling, I don't want to be expected at
> meetings, I don't want to be told it's too soon/toolate/not enough/etc. I
> want to be able to obtain the stuff and do it as I and my
> significant other
> think most beneficial, for whatever reason and in whatever
> fashion the two
> of us think most fit. T hat's the best way I think. I don't want someone
> judging from outside me how much I'd need beyond, "he's this
> heavy so this
> much is needed for him to really, really do the three day thing,"
> and that's
> about it. I don't want someone obtaining this stuff for me and at
> the same
> time saying things along the lines of, "I think he needs just
> this or that
> amount for this or that reason." Somehow, while I understand where it's
> coming from and that that is a good place and very well meant, this just
> doesn't strike me as the very best or more beneficial way for me
> to do this
> stuff.
>     I sincerely hope I've not screwed my chances for the future by laying
> out my feelings in this fashion on the public list, but I've had these
> thoughts for a while and Dave sorta shook them loose with his post.
>     (I'm blaming you dh, you and my disease- you know I can't
> help myself,
> I'm not responsible, I'm sick, a really reaeealy sicky sicko,
> probably even
> a somewhat pinko sicko, in need of treatment 'cause damn it I'm
> freakin all
> out ILL! Or something.)
>     Seriously, sorry to vent on you all. Here's wishing everyone a good
> evening, except for those who might not want me to do that, to be
> all nice
> and stuff, and would rather I be hostile or pessimistic or whatever is
> anti-huggy and peaceful and such.
> Peace and love,
> Preston

Hey Preston,

Good to hear of your feelings. Correct me if I'm wrong here - basically you
want to get off and stay off drugs, but you want to do it on your own terms.
Is this right?


> "Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
> mistaken for madness"
> Richard Davenport-Hines
> ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
> Editor http://www.drugwar.com
> Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs"
> Cont. High Times mag/.com
> Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
> Columnist New York Waste
> Etc.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "D H" <dave at phantom.com>
> To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
> Sent: Monday, January 24, 2005 3:31 PM
> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine]  free
> >>>> And, frankly, if you take ibogaine and you're still cynical >>about
> >>>> life, then
> >>>> it's not working for you. Ibogaine is 100% anti-cynicism - >>really!
> >
> > 100%, Pure, unadulterated... Bullshit.
> >
> > no additives or preservatives, either.
> >
> > Virgin Bullshit.
> >
> > _.dh
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
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