[Ibogaine] 9 weeks in.
jasenhappy at optusnet.com.au
Mon Jan 24 21:22:56 EST 2005
Yes slow and steady,..I undersdtand what you mean Jeff.
The ship is still on course though the sails are not as full of wind.
It has been a 20 year plus opiate haze for me also. I am
39 now,..was on the Methadone since 15.
This is my ninth week,..my energy still is not right,..however
much better than before.
I was on 60mg when treatment started,..however 3 to 4 days
before doing the trearment I double and triple dosed.
I was scared shitless only to discover there was nothing
The road for me is also long. I am still conected to the
all of it. I am very confused and not, if you understand
what I mean. My mind is still not firing properly.
I sometimes let out a big roar in frustration of the sickness.
My neighbours must think I am off my head.
I suppose I was,.. without thinking I was,.. the years previously.
Hey,..it's all good,..as long as I stay on track.
I own the track. The ship is pushing through ice,..the
freesailing will come soon.
I am still in love with everything,..I still see the man across
the road and see me,..the woman at the bustop and there I am again.
I was a lot like this before Iboga,..Iboga took me over the top
and it was/is wonderfull. Though I have come down some.
What a great and ful filling experience,..WOW
People are more attractred to me now,..woman are noticing me,..
it feels great flirting. I have missed so much,..no regrets.
Even though I am still not quite right,..I am
still loving it,..this state I am now in.(No anesthetic)
Even 6 weeks ago when I was sicker,.I still felt great,..Free,
I am more sociable,..I used to get invited to 10 things and
maybe go to 1,..now I get invited to 10 and go to at least 9.
I am free from opiates,..even the cig's however the cig's are
,...seem to be a different type of challenge. I fight the urge,,
maybe "urge" is not the right word,..I fight the habit of having
a cigg more than anythig else.
Broken the urge and habit of eating loads of sugar in all forms.
I am not as arrogant as before,..nor could I have seen my
arrogance before Iboga.
When people are talking to me now I don't drift off.
I am more steadfast,..grounded. People are more exciting.
I am feeling alot better than I was a month ago that's for sure.
Still have longer to go,..but then we are talking about Methadone.
I feel like I can become anything now,..good or bad,..it is a choice.
Some of what society labels "bad" can be good. Good and bad is relevent.
Hey,..maybe I'll be both,..the all of it. Mmmm.
love,.Jasen. (A big kiss for you Ken baby)
(your big enough to handle it) :)
(All in good humor mate)
----- Original Message -----
From: <Jeffgd1 at aol.com>
To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
Sent: Monday, January 24, 2005 11:17 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] 10 weeks out
> Hi Donna et al...
> Well it has been a v-e-r-y slow but steady climb out of the 20 plus year
> opiate haze...the last ten years being strictly a methadone diet. At 45
> years old my brain had a lot of reconnecting to do with itself and my
> I was on 50mgs when i did the ibo...looking back (ahh hindsight!) maybe i
> should have tried switching to a shorter acting opiate but didnt have a
> sympathetic Dr or want to go back to copping on the street
> I went thru some very tough weeks post ibo i did a couple of "booster"
> doses about 2-3 weeks out and the nor-ibo (or wheteever it is) was flowing
> bigtime and gave me a great spirit (just as advertised) and then about 7
> weeks post it simply dried up! I was still only about 75% back to'normal'
> and then it became much more difficult to focus on the positve.
> Even now at 10 plus weeks my energy level is still low (as it was before
> ibo) and i am to put it simply, still, uncomfortable. Some nights i could
> swear i am feeling honest to god (minor) withdrawal pain though i cannot
> actually believe that i am at this point
> I still try to focus on the fact that i am free now-to go and be wherever
> I want (as soon as the $ are thier) and that compared to 20 years 10 weeks
> aint but a drop in the bucket but it is hard.
> I only chimed into the "ken" discussion cuz his posts seemed to hit home
> for me much more so than the full of positivity posts that i simply cant
> relate to right now. I am only glad for those that feel great and see the
> light so to speak but for me the road is still long.
> Dont get me wrong I am a livemusiclovinglonghairedhippiefreak and all
> that-no doubt!but I am out of the old school grateful dead model no
> flowrpowerdaisyloving but
> hardpartyingbustyerballscraziness -toomuchofeverythingisjustenuff
> shut-upandpassthetray-pipe-joint type
> To be fair I need to get out of the house more and excercise more and eat
> better and get into counseling and stop daydreaming so much and get
> moving and eat better and excercise and get back to work and get a hobby
> and move out of new york and meditate and join some kind of group and get
> back to my spiritual needs and eat more vegatables and see a chiroprator
> and do some volunteer work and get rolfed or something and focus on the
> just how far I have come but otherwise everything is fucking great!
> hope that helps
> Freak Freely!
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