[Ibogaine] 10 weeks out

BiscuitBoy714 at aol.com BiscuitBoy714 at aol.com
Mon Jan 24 11:13:43 EST 2005


Jeff, dude your honesty is heart warming. Keep doing what works for you. I 
had some rough spots that I really didn't talk about because it just reinforced 
the negative in me and I knew I wouldn't stop bitchin'. That's just me. I know 
now how my head works alot better than before Ibogaine. I look at Ibogaine 
the same way that I look at God. God helped me quit drinking when I couldn't do 
it by myself but, he wouldn't fix my car or cut my grass. Ibogaine helped me 
stop the cycle of addiction but won't KEEP ME CLEAN, I have to do that myself. 
It's a bitch, ( cue the Stones play it's a Bitch), but it gets easier all the 
time. Just sitting here doing this is completely different for me. It keeps my 
head where it needs to be. I have a gig with a new  band this weekend and 
normally I would be figuring out how to get enough people together to make a run 
to Buffaloe and get a bunch of bundles. I don't feel that irrational 
nervousness I used to feel. I'm not compelled to fuck this up like I would before. 
Hell, heroin just fucks up my voice anyway. I look forward to the adrenalin rush 
that I would ignore if I was high. I just haven't figured out how I will leave 
my mark on the crowd yet. Anybody have a fire hose, or maybe some flash bang 
grenades?       Randy



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