[Ibogaine] Hannah. Anxiety

The Garden GardenRestaurant at comcast.net
Fri Jan 21 13:32:04 EST 2005


Hi Hannah !
I am really happy to see how good you are doing :-)
Regarding anxiety, in my humble opinion. Anxiety is there to tell you
something.
Like a pain in the  back is telling you wich movement you have to avoid to
hurt yourself more.

Now, I give you an example: a young child learning how to walk. Is at the
bottom of a long stairway.
He realy want to go upstair, like everybody else.But now is paralysed by
fear, is full of self doubt, he had a strange feeling somewhere in his guts,
a kind of disconfort that later , as an adult he will label :anxiety.
Do you think he can make it ?/!

I am learning now something I realy don't like to do but that I want to do
it  ,and..., and this is producing in me some
 (or a lot , I do I know ?/!) of" anxiety ".
 Actualy, I am not even sure that this is anxiety. Somebody told me...
I call it fear and I am not even sure this is fear..
To make a long story short. When this "thing " comes I like to play with it
( a friend teach me this technique )
First you welcome the "thing".like " hi !! welcome back, would like a cup of
tea ?" " So wat's up ? "
Then you try hard to intensify the feeling to the max. then try to reduce
it. then try to make it big, realy  big, intense.....Then you visualize it
outside of you, then inside... so on and so on..
The "thing" realy don't like to be play with and will leave you.
 It's normal to feel a little bet of disconfort at the begining of a new,
great, adventure, but that the deal. You have to go throught the pain and no
pill in the world will do the job for you.We have to win our own battle one
step at the time..
Francis
God bless







----- Original Message ----- 
From: "....Ken" <chayco at island.net>
To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, January 20, 2005 11:34 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Hannah


>
> Hello Hannah,
>
> The anxiety is rough. Have you tried 'clonidine' ?  You will need a
'script.
> Do some on line research first to see if you think it is worthwhile for
you.
>
> It lowers the blood pressure and it helped me through some rough times.
>
>                          best regards.....Ken
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Hannah Clay" <hannah.clay at ntlworld.com>
> To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
> Sent: Thursday, January 20, 2005 4:34 PM
> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Hannah
>
>
> > I must be really quick cuz I have to go to bed cuz I'm up early in the
> > morning.  Basically I've been busy keeping clean ( :-)))) and my PC's
been
> > down for ages.  I have 624 messages from the list to work through and
> dunno
> > when I'll get round to it!  Hope everybody's ok and happy?  I've been up
> and
> > down.  I've dabbled so I guess I'm not clean but I FEEL clean!  It
doesn't
> > rule my life anymore though I still unfortunately have a few problems
with
> > people from the scene.  I feel like its ages since I had any but now I
see
> > it was only 8 days ago but only a tiny bit.  Put it like this-in the
past
> > 4.5wks I've had it 4 times n that's AMAZING for me.  Today I was
> unfortunate
> > enough to have to sit in a room with people doing it but I felt NOTHING!
> > Its like I can see rationally again.  And when I have slipped its been
> small
> > amounts and each time I've instantly regretted it.  I'm down from 8mg to
> 2mg
> > of Subutex a day.  It feels like its been months!  I don't want anymore
> > though I'm taking it one day at a time.  Most people don't know but even
> > those that don't have said how much happier and healthier I look.  I'm
> still
> > cut up about being dumped from my 3yr relationship but I'm used to it
now
> > and enjoying the freedom-my flat's never been so tidy!  Now there's no
man
> > to mess it up as soon as I've cleaned it! ;-)  I said I was gonna be
quick
> > and I really must go.  I'm working on my self-confidence and just
started
> my
> > Open University course so I can finally complete the last 2yrs of my BSc
> > Psychology degree!  I'm very poor on benefits and trying to pay rent
alone
> > etc but compared to when I was doing gear I'm rich!  I can't believe all
> the
> > money I threw away (or shot up my veins)-now I can see how much £25
> actually
> > buys you!  I can't believe I was spending hundreds some days!  I was
> getting
> > badly into crack aswell so really my boyf did the best thing.  Without
him
> > judging me and making me feel ashamed I'm a totally different person.
> I've
> > met loads of new (clean) friends and now actually have a social life!  I
> > walk my dog miles each day and I'm getting back into my Yoga and trying
to
> > eat healthily.  I am taking the odd Valium tough, probably 3 a week-will
> > this become a problem?  Its just I still get periods of intense despair
> and
> > anxiety, especially about starting my course and they really help.  I
> don't
> > want to abuse them though, just use them if I really need them.  This is
> > turning into an essay!  I've missed you guys so much and always wondered
> how
> > you're all doing.  I'll probably have to put a couple of days aside to
get
> > through this backlog!  Oh and my friend is training in Reflexology so I
> get
> > that weekly too!
> >
> > Now I really must go!  I just wanted to share the good news.  Its
doesn't
> > sound so great on paper but it honestly feels like months to me!  I grow
> > stronger every day and suddenly I have a future!
> >
> > Thanks for caring,
> > Loads and loads of love to you all,
> > Hannah :-)
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "Ms Iboga" <ms_iboga at yahoo.com>
> > To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
> > Sent: Thursday, January 13, 2005 7:57 PM
> > Subject: [Ibogaine] Hannah
> >
> >
> > > Hi Hannah,
> > >
> > > how are ya, girl?  Haven't heard from you in a
> > > while...wondering how yer doin'?
> > >
> > > love Julie
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > __________________________________
> > > Do you Yahoo!?
> > > Yahoo! Mail - 250MB free storage. Do more. Manage less.
> > > http://info.mail.yahoo.com/mail_250
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
>
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