"you really jarred something loose tiger"/Spotless Mind Flick/My Private Ibogaine

knowone knowwhere kn0m0n3 at yahoo.co.uk
Sun Jan 9 18:33:11 EST 2005


Repot for []\/[] [] |\| |) \/ 0 X :  Sunday Jan 9th
2005 5:39 AM

Spotting her mannerisms in Spotless movie, remind me
of Erin.  Lately, Been having to come to that, you
know, similar to onion Layers, before iboga before
jail before 9/11 before wake up to knock on car window
with police flashlight,

Next Layer Leads to -->best friend
betrays

..obviously because I had slowly been
betraying her.  

Rejection & Shame & forever stumbling Attempts to
Anticipate Rejection, new strategies over and over
again etc
  

“What’s methadone”  she said.   ; )  She was too
trusting in the world and wouldn’t know about anything
like that.   “I’ll tell you later”, I said.  

I miss her.  I really miss her.  Or at least, I miss
“her”, weather that her is anywhere close to the
actual her is highly unlikely.  

The real question is would I go through it all again
knowing what I know now.  Roots of -->[ ]<--
bending  Spotless
 bendinG coagulation
epresectambodimyism embrmorphopam
cc®ldldlaieeek rdldlocks var vesential  vor thle
paranoia therapy to take effect own re-living
dejaoi\/ukxking\/ynL widow Today window did are darky
witty minty wint entity ear ring buzz cranial saw  
Taste
\/isions 

                         Bitter Granola Blanket RED
\/\/armth, 
.4 the world.

Smoldering Orlaam kick 
Sleep 4 hours in 6 weeks
“Take that you freaky piece of shit!!”
Sleep 240 minutes in 6 weeks 
Orlaam kick *_*  “you really jarred something loose
tiger.”
4 hours 6 weeks
ON.
4 hours 6 weeks
A Hurricane for the 
4 hours in 6 weeks 
Sickness Super Glue
4 hours 6 weeks
Internal Gravity Crushing, but I wasn’t alone

She stays, even when I tell her that touch fells like
a bruise, She stays.
She stayed.  She should have left.  And She Left, when
she should have stayed.

Pe0ple crawling up building in HCL were, in part, me
avoiding at all cost, in the case of the feelings
spotless movie brought up, it is, in part, about Erin
and the perceived verification of the inevitability of
rejection, this leads to shame, and avoiding/hiding
true self as long as possible, because if they find
true self, (shame is a belief that something is
essentially wrong with our being) they will reject. 
Just a matter of time.  What are the pro’s and con’s
of this way of seeing or meme or paradigm or whatever.

The nano Bugs we’re obviously everywhere, I think I’ve
already told you about the tapping the agents with the
blow up doll routine.  Who’s to say that wasn’t just
bait to get us to expose our position in that point in
space time.  A false sense of security is one of the
quickest methods for extracting marketable
information.  In the same way that few people in
Dallas paint their bodies with a colored afro-wig in a
crowd unless they are at the Cowboy game. 

I really only read non-fiction.  The only two
non-fiction books in the entire Prison was a History
book from the 1960’s and an old 200 page Britannica
Essay Collection (it had a blue cover).  I came across
the history book first.  The main thing that stood out
to me was that while I was reading, I was living a
more comfortable life then George Washington.  I had
hot water.  I had hot “food”.  This was essential
information because I had no money for commentary, I
had just kicked ‘done, and my multi-year xanex and
tamazepam ‘scripts got lost in the system.  I knew I
was physically weak and thus a potential target, so
alliances were vital, and not letting ANY opportunity
get by and was able to squeak out without adding too
much to any harm done.

Most of the books were that Armageddon series but the
Essay Collection had some decent introductions to
ideas, especially for prison books.   There is a great
Essay about guerrilla warfare, and how killing is not
for the objective of killing but killing is
essentially only a stage for information objectives.

High Pitched “Static” sound was the sound of the
microphone/bugs sensitivity being turned up, hot on
the set energy, like when you turn up the volume on a
receiver without input, the noise of “silence” that
results.  Products of previous environments, random
environments influencing paths, how much influence I
wonder
.

So does good always equal random or random always
equal good??  Of course not.  Each Now has it’s own
particular gravitational influences due to its
placement and spacing.  Random is like a trick play or
Heroin, it works Less the More it is consumed.  For
example, when applying intention Random is fickle.  It
is easier to banish negativity with Random then Create
Positive with Random.  This seems to happen at the
beginning. 

Has traditional compulsion rehabilitation used social
pressure to re-enforce an agenda, and can that
re-enforcement be abused or perhaps even contributes
to it’s own potential for abuse?  If so can it be
reversed.  If not is it possible or likely that it
will?  Is it in the subjects interest for them to be
aware they are being hypnotized?  Is all hypnosis bad?
 
Could we define manipulation without the existence of
non-manipulation?

Aware of the bugs, we must do something to prevent
being predictable, to stay a step ahead of
agents/”cia” ;  In random chaos is a comfort that is
difficult for machines to reach, in the same way a
program designed to determine a beats per minute
number is puzzled by the sound of a Compact Disk
“skipping”.

In “skipping” is a temple without agents of control. 
A womb during apocalypse. 

Not to mention, I have been considering doing an mdma
deluxe session w/ a girl I’m not really that attracted
to.  I think I’ve decided against it.  But the idea of
it brought up yearning type energy for Erin that I
hadn’t consciously thought of in a couple of years at
least due to being so preoccupied with legal and
opioid kick shyt.  I didn’t even really think about
that either, then Preston mentions the Spotless movie,
and it is like a flood gate was opened.  “It” Says:
So, ok, their was like this major thing that really
affected you that you haven’t looked at yet, here’s
the last 3 years of that.  <clu-plump>  (sound of
dense black hole rock dropping in pool of water).

In “skipping” is a temple without agents of control.  
A womb during apocalypse. 
/111111



	
	
		
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