[Ibogaine] the black box

Jeffgd1 at aol.com Jeffgd1 at aol.com
Fri Jan 7 13:22:41 EST 2005


Patrick et al...
Digital at phantom.com wrote
>>All that being said, I still have nuthin' negative to say >>about 
>>Resnick...  He didn't preach at me; didn't go out of his    >>way to try to 
>>make me feel like a piece of shit.  He was just ... trying >>to help.  
>>The fact he didn't have too much to work with, is more a >>reflection on 
>>the "state of the art" in opiate/opioid treatment, when you >>remove 
>>ibogaine from the picture.

Yes i hope I didnt sound like i was dissin' Dr Resnick as he was a very kind and helpful guy when i needed him badly..Even when i went back to him, or his therapist woman i should say ,(she was in his office townhouse as well) and i was using though denying it ,he put up with it until finally after a few  visits he said if you are clean let me hit you with this shot of naltrexan.... i figured he wouldnt waste it on me so said sure and only as the needle was about to plunge through my opiated skin  did i cop to my strung out-ness again and still they were kind and non judgemental .I suggested i go on Bupe in a week or so and he agreed but told me not use for the day before we start which i knew and understood BUT even then i fucked myself as i went to him high (stupid junkie!) and took it then of course went into wd's fairly quickly as i sat in central park where he sent me to wait a bit when i returned he took one look at me and asked why i did that... he seemed more concerned than pissed and i split to get well (quick!!)never to return. i did get a note from him six months later (most likely with a bill for outstanding fee from the bupe) asking how i was-I was quite strung out and didnt answer ....
All in all he seemed a caring guy doing all he could in this screwed up system ...

>>It takes a while...  Hang in there.  If you need a tune-up, >>then 
>>fuckin' go for it.  And congratulations on making it >>through a party 
>>weekend without pickin' up dOpe when it's right in your >>face.  That can 
>>be really hard.  You should try to remember That Moment

 yes That Moment looking back it wasnt as hard decision as i would have thought( maybe because i was tripping my face off ??)
 I have been through so much i dont think i could do it all over again i almost feel like any dabbling would be either a life or death sentence... a lifetime of opiate use most likely back on the dreaded meth or bupe...or a death sentence of a final heavy run which i cant handle.... 
as far  as a TUnE uP yes i very much think that is in order 
Thanks again for everything this list does, to you and all on it  
FF
Jeff


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