[Ibogaine] iboga experience & therapy

Ekkehard Rau ekkijdfg at gmx.de
Fri Jan 7 02:57:51 EST 2005


hallo sara
thanks for your answer.
actually i think its my own fault to have taken that much, but i guess  
i had to play on edges and the dose was right for me. my provider  
emphasized to be very careful.
i was happy to get this extract for a fair price, since i tried some  
other rookbark 1 1/2 years ago which gave me only stomach problems,  
nothing else.
do you think 15g are already to much for a grown up male of 80kg? maybe  
different extracts have different strengh.
i will be more careful on the girl. to get a professional iboga  
treatment instead is a financial problem. also she prefers to do it  
with me.
how do you find out how much you give your clients?

-ekki

Am 07.01.2005 um 07:08 schrieb Sara Glatt:

> You provider is crazy.
> And you don't need to over do it.
> It isn't so that the more you take the better.
> If your girl will die from intoxication of Iboga,
> Then it will most probably become illegal in your country.
> Your provider doesn't care he will move to another country
> But you be stuck with hard feelings.
>
> Did your provider try to take 15 gram by himself?
> Or is he just a kid who like to make some money?
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Oorspronkelijk bericht-----
> Van: Ekkehard Rau [mailto:ekkijdfg at gmx.de]
> Verzonden: vrijdag 7 januari 2005 1:19
> Aan: ibogaine at mindvox.com
> Onderwerp: [Ibogaine] iboga experience & therapy
>
> hello everybody!
>
> i was on this list a while ago, was off for a year and are back now.
> here´s my story:
>
> i became a daily user of h nearly 4 years ago.
> since two years my life has been a circle of withdrawals and relapses.
> in october i was in the black forest (i live in south-west germany at
> the moment) when i ran out of dope. after two days i had to call a
> doctor and he send me to a lokal hospital. it was ridiculous: i got so
> much methadon, haldol, valium, tramadol and some pills that i felt
> higher than when i was still on h and downers. after 5 days i was
> released, not detoxed at all. i spend about 6 weeks with not much
> sleep. i drank lots of vodka and layed in bed most of the time.
> occasionally i would take some valium, tramadol or fentanyl.
>
> on friday, december the 10th, i took about 25 grams of rootbark extract
> all by myself. (my provider emailed that 15g should be maximum.) it
> really blew me away. after 8 hours i took more extract, maybe 10g. i
> flushed the rest (i had 50g) down the toilet since i feared to od on
> ibo. i was in a nice dreamy state until saturday noon. then i felt
> terrible. on tuesday(12/14/04) i od´ed on speedballs, probably because
> my system was already fairly clean and i still had the iboga in my
> body. i stopped breathing, my lips turned blue, my heartbeat was 190
> and bloodpressure 60 to 88, i learned later. luckily someone was around
> to call an ambulance. they pumped me with oxygen and i came back to
> consciousness at the emergency station of a hospital. the next day i
> gave a lecture at university about william burroughs (funny
> coincidence). i drank heavily until sunday the 18th. i awoke on monday
> morning the 19th, badly shaking, and knew it was all over. i really
> woke up. no craving any more. no drinking or drugs necessary since
> then. i felt the big, enormous, radiating and rotating sun i saw on
> iboga shining all inside and outside of me.
>
>   the next couple of days i started to digest my iboga experience. i  
> saw
> very sad and dead lifeless fields and landscapes that filled me with
> grief and compassion. i think those are the realms of my addiction.
> then lots of demons where welcoming me with scornful laughter. for a
> while every thought i had was spoken by changing characters that i saw
> standing before me.  i seemed to leave my_self, also my body. i cannot
> remember everything that happened afterwards. there were ancient
> tribes,plants and  flowers, mutating grimaces, a smiling girl. most
> impressive was the sun.
>   while this experience can be seen as something coming out of the
> (un)conscious to be interpreted as a bunch of symbols, i also felt like
> entering another world that exists independent of myself, still i seem
> to be related to it.
> being a psychedelic oldtimer of berlin techno scene in the 90s i
> already made some synaptic journeys, but iboga is really something
> else.
> what wonders me is that it needed 10 days to free me. then i also
> stopped smoking without any effort or will-power.
>
> while there is a lot of i in this text i feel quite unpersonal these
> days, a state i know from times of 3 or 4 weeks of intense
> zen-meditation. the iboga gave me the desire to practice zen again, it
> also sparkled an interest in shamanism. i recently met a mexican indian
> initiated into a peyote cult. i told him my experience and he gave very
> good and helpful remarks like he knows about those other worlds.
>
> i plan to try iboga on my ex. she is shooting up lots of c&h and ran
> out of veins. also she is very small and thin and has hep c, but not
> acute. we became junkies together.
> i want to give her a dose large enough, so that she can cope with
> withdrawal and has a strong experience, on the other hand i fear she
> might collapse since she is in bad shape. the plan is that she leaves
> the scene in berlin a few days before and stays some days at her
> mothers place in munich, where dope is much more expensive, so she will
> reduce her habit there a bit and get good food and some rest. then she
> will come to my place, use up her leftovers, wait for withdrawal to set
> in and then start with the rootbark extract. i have taken a course in
> first aid 2 years ago and i will have a oxygen mask as well as phone
> numbers of emergency medical doctors. i read everything on ibogatherapy
> i found in the net. she was in hospital in nov to detox where they
> didn´t report anything wrong with her heart or liver, but i don´t have
> an actual EKG or blood values. there is no open scene for drugs where i
> life (at least not in winter), so she won´t be able to cop easily the
> first days after the session. she is planing some aftercare program
> like travelling to italy and afrika.
> do you guys think bwiti-music and incense can be of help? are there any
> other measures of caution to be taken?
> i´ll be greatful for any comments.
>
> -ekki
>
>
>
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