[Ibogaine] iboga experience & therapy
sara119 at xs4all.nl
Fri Jan 7 01:08:04 EST 2005
You provider is crazy.
And you don't need to over do it.
It isn't so that the more you take the better.
If your girl will die from intoxication of Iboga,
Then it will most probably become illegal in your country.
Your provider doesn't care he will move to another country
But you be stuck with hard feelings.
Did your provider try to take 15 gram by himself?
Or is he just a kid who like to make some money?
Van: Ekkehard Rau [mailto:ekkijdfg at gmx.de]
Verzonden: vrijdag 7 januari 2005 1:19
Aan: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Onderwerp: [Ibogaine] iboga experience & therapy
i was on this list a while ago, was off for a year and are back now.
here´s my story:
i became a daily user of h nearly 4 years ago.
since two years my life has been a circle of withdrawals and relapses.
in october i was in the black forest (i live in south-west germany at
the moment) when i ran out of dope. after two days i had to call a
doctor and he send me to a lokal hospital. it was ridiculous: i got so
much methadon, haldol, valium, tramadol and some pills that i felt
higher than when i was still on h and downers. after 5 days i was
released, not detoxed at all. i spend about 6 weeks with not much
sleep. i drank lots of vodka and layed in bed most of the time.
occasionally i would take some valium, tramadol or fentanyl.
on friday, december the 10th, i took about 25 grams of rootbark extract
all by myself. (my provider emailed that 15g should be maximum.) it
really blew me away. after 8 hours i took more extract, maybe 10g. i
flushed the rest (i had 50g) down the toilet since i feared to od on
ibo. i was in a nice dreamy state until saturday noon. then i felt
terrible. on tuesday(12/14/04) i od´ed on speedballs, probably because
my system was already fairly clean and i still had the iboga in my
body. i stopped breathing, my lips turned blue, my heartbeat was 190
and bloodpressure 60 to 88, i learned later. luckily someone was around
to call an ambulance. they pumped me with oxygen and i came back to
consciousness at the emergency station of a hospital. the next day i
gave a lecture at university about william burroughs (funny
coincidence). i drank heavily until sunday the 18th. i awoke on monday
morning the 19th, badly shaking, and knew it was all over. i really
woke up. no craving any more. no drinking or drugs necessary since
then. i felt the big, enormous, radiating and rotating sun i saw on
iboga shining all inside and outside of me.
the next couple of days i started to digest my iboga experience. i saw
very sad and dead lifeless fields and landscapes that filled me with
grief and compassion. i think those are the realms of my addiction.
then lots of demons where welcoming me with scornful laughter. for a
while every thought i had was spoken by changing characters that i saw
standing before me. i seemed to leave my_self, also my body. i cannot
remember everything that happened afterwards. there were ancient
tribes,plants and flowers, mutating grimaces, a smiling girl. most
impressive was the sun.
while this experience can be seen as something coming out of the
(un)conscious to be interpreted as a bunch of symbols, i also felt like
entering another world that exists independent of myself, still i seem
to be related to it.
being a psychedelic oldtimer of berlin techno scene in the 90s i
already made some synaptic journeys, but iboga is really something
what wonders me is that it needed 10 days to free me. then i also
stopped smoking without any effort or will-power.
while there is a lot of i in this text i feel quite unpersonal these
days, a state i know from times of 3 or 4 weeks of intense
zen-meditation. the iboga gave me the desire to practice zen again, it
also sparkled an interest in shamanism. i recently met a mexican indian
initiated into a peyote cult. i told him my experience and he gave very
good and helpful remarks like he knows about those other worlds.
i plan to try iboga on my ex. she is shooting up lots of c&h and ran
out of veins. also she is very small and thin and has hep c, but not
acute. we became junkies together.
i want to give her a dose large enough, so that she can cope with
withdrawal and has a strong experience, on the other hand i fear she
might collapse since she is in bad shape. the plan is that she leaves
the scene in berlin a few days before and stays some days at her
mothers place in munich, where dope is much more expensive, so she will
reduce her habit there a bit and get good food and some rest. then she
will come to my place, use up her leftovers, wait for withdrawal to set
in and then start with the rootbark extract. i have taken a course in
first aid 2 years ago and i will have a oxygen mask as well as phone
numbers of emergency medical doctors. i read everything on ibogatherapy
i found in the net. she was in hospital in nov to detox where they
didn´t report anything wrong with her heart or liver, but i don´t have
an actual EKG or blood values. there is no open scene for drugs where i
life (at least not in winter), so she won´t be able to cop easily the
first days after the session. she is planing some aftercare program
like travelling to italy and afrika.
do you guys think bwiti-music and incense can be of help? are there any
other measures of caution to be taken?
i´ll be greatful for any comments.
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