[Ibogaine] chipping turned back to habit,again

HSLotsof at aol.com HSLotsof at aol.com
Thu Jan 6 17:51:06 EST 2005


Go for it Shelly and keep us posted.  I'd say the ibogaine factor is still 
playing a part in how you are responding.  Would you agree?

Howard

In a message dated 1/6/05 2:05:19 PM, skrupa20022002 at yahoo.com writes:

<< Hi Yall ,its been a while since Ive posted.Last time I did ,I think I was 
celebrating the fact that I got past the 6 month mark post ibogaine without 
going back to the same ol'same ol'.I had been chipping ,well using hydrocodone 
or oxy once or twice a week orally.Cant say exactly when I crossed the line 
,but i know the holiday stuff is difficult for me,to say the least.I even went 
off on a coke binge smoking crack a day and a half.Well ,i noticed I had violent 
diarrhea and sweats,Im back there,again.My habit is very light,I can go 24 
hours or more without using,but Im addicted.I had a falling out with my best 
friend when I told her Ive been slipping.Ive been calling in sick at 
work,spending money,etc,you know the drill.Im commited to work until the end of 
February,schedule wise.Ive been contemplating going to Sara's in the spring.But I know 
if I continue using whats to come,a heavier habit,more debt,my deal is online 
supply,some street supply but nothing reliable,to say the least.So
 rather than continuing the downward spiral,Ive decided to do a brief 
buprenex detox.I called the doc that helped me last year,he was more than happy to 
help , it'll even cost alot less too.Of course bup is not my first choice, I 
love ibogaine to detox.But Im at the point where I still have enough free will to 
decide rather than being backed into a corner with calamity.I dont have to 
keep on fucking up to the point that Ive lost my job & put my nursing license in 
jeaprody.I also have hep c ,and all the tylenol in the pills is scary too.Im 
not big on 12 step,especially after doing ibogaine 3 times,but I need to take 
some action now.Lonliness is a big reason why I picked up again,I was doing 
Smart online,no meetings here.Im not hooked up with a therapist whose hip to 
ibogaine,and live in the bible belt.The list in a godsend,to be sure ,but I need 
to look people in the eye and get hugs.So Ive chosen bup to get unhooked for 
now ,maybe Sara's will be an option come March ,but for now
 ...Im trying to avoid the "oh why do I fuck up again & again" deal,angd just 
get back on the path.Im grateful to yall for the attention & care shown on 
this list,guess its my turn to ask for support.I know it'll be hard without the 
noribogaine that skips the post detox depression,but this feels like the best 
choice.Please send good intention prayers my way.feels pretty dismal and my 
thinking is screwed,but Im on the way back!!!!!Love yall and will be psting more 
now -shell >>




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