[Ibogaine] thoughts on a movie and ibogaine

Steven Anker stevenanker at hotmail.com
Thu Jan 6 12:31:36 EST 2005


Hey Preston,

Thanks for venting. I relate.

Hang in there dude... Your situation is tough because you seem to have that 
junkie feed me vibe as well as actual pain to deal with. Very tough scene 
you must be in. Be good and maybe a few activities to get you out of your 
head. Golf perhaps or watching a movie... At least you're not an orphan in 
Sri Lanka. Things will work themselves out.

The same writer who wrote "Eternal" wrote "Adaptation." The beginning has a 
distinctly hallucinogenic vibe and the orchids give powerful trips.. Check 
it out, you will relate to it. I thought of iboga/mushrooms/whatever when I 
saw it.

It makes sense to be confused about ibogaine. I don't think we understand it 
completely.

Ibogaine is heavy shit, eh? A while ago I contacted Dr. Drew from that radio 
show 'love-line' about ibo. He works by day at a drug clinic. I thought it 
would help the cause to have a national known addiction specialist work with 
it. He did and this is what he wrote me about his experience:

Steve,
 I have now had two cases since we have begun exchanging emails who had been 
treated with Ibogaine.  I am sorry to say that both were abject and scary 
failures.  Indeed, both were able to stop doing drugs seemingly 
spontaneously for three months after the the Ibogaine but both drifted 
slowly back to their disease at still greater intensity.  The scary thing is 
that both had evidence of hallucinogen induced brain injuries.  They were 
both opiate addicts and had never done any other drugs known to injure the 
brain in this way. 

Scary, eh?

When I was in Gabon it really struck me how few Bwiti (practically no one) 
ever took the initiation more than once. There is this belief around that 
ibogaine works better for addiction if done multiple times, each relapse go 
in and take the magic bullet. With enough times, the brain and mind is 
fixed. I don't know if this is true, perhaps with some people.

It's been over two years since I first took ibogaine for my opiate addiction 
and my thoughts about it have changed over the course of time. Some things 
I've noticed: The most dogmatic are those who just took it or those who have 
never taken it. Ibo is a useful tool for some, a magic bullet for some, 
harmful for some, and for some makes no real difference a little poorer, but 
no worse for wear. For me, it was helpful but I made many other changes in 
my life in order to stay clean. Getting arrested for dope, for instance. We 
don't really know what the best way to treat addiction is. Maybe ibo once 
and then a combo of the nor-ibogaine patch and 18-mc. Perhaps iboga is best 
left in the jungles of West Africa. One of the Bwiti priest's told me "It's 
a sad day when the holy root is put in a pill." We don't know. They thought 
ibogaine was the white man's evil.

The thing I have come to believe completely is that addiction treatment 
sucks in it's current state. Maybe there just needs to be many more options 
for people. AA works for some, methadone helps others, ibo for some. A very 
close friend was helped by UROD, even though the detox was hellish. He was 
the sort of guy who needed more dope than a raging bull rhino, big guy 
right? He woke up in the middle of the detox and had no clue where he was, 
full of needles and tubes and no one came when he called for help. The 
medication afterwards helped and he had high regards for the Matrix (Non 12 
step) after-care program. He's been clean for a couple of years. Many people 
also just plain stop on their own. UROD seems slightly cool as a poor-man's 
version of the Keith Richards travel to Switzerland and swap your blood out 
treatment.

I put Keeping Clean together for a friend who had relapsed and was taking 
ibogaine for the second time. Keeping Clean was meant to help him 
afterwards, right? Anyway, he does the ibogaine and a few days later back on 
the yam yam visiting the dark master. Half a year later, completely strung 
out, he goes cold turkey grits his teeth and manages to stop.

Do the potential risks outweigh the benefits? Is the statement "has the cure 
for addiction been suppressed since the sixties" true? My guess is that the 
people who have had bad experiences don't come on this list. I'm saddened 
that more people haven't wanted to visit the Bwiti, they need our cash every 
bit as much as the clinics.

I've been off the list for a time busy with a baby, glad to see it's the 
same shit. Let the love flow.

Preston, peace out motherfucker... thinking of you brother,
Steve.

>From: "Preston Peet" <ptpeet at nyc.rr.com>
>Reply-To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
>To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>, <drugwar at mindvox.com>
>Subject: [Ibogaine] thoughts on a movie and ibogaine
>Date: Wed, 5 Jan 2005 22:57:33 -0500
>
>so,
>    I have some thought after watching Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, 
>and that mainly consists of not only holy shit that was an emotional 
>session watching this flick all by myself trying to ration out the last of 
>my pain meds before seeing my doc on Friday (god this sounds freakin weird, 
>kinda like deja vu) but I kept being reminded of my ibogaine sessions while 
>watching the whole dream session where they wiped his memories. He kept 
>struggling to wake up and fight the eraser people and they kept finding him 
>no matter where he tried to hide his memories of Clementine.
>    Now granted, I realize fully that lack of sufficiant opiates is making 
>me a bit emotional, but I highly recommend this film to anyone who isn't 
>afraid to watch a very different kind of film, utterly fucking brilliant 
>but very different. If you've not tried something along the lines of 
>ibogaine or massive doses of mushrooms (you know, over 7 grams at a time) 
>or mainlining ketamine, this film will give you somewhat of an idea of some 
>of what I myself felt at times on each and every of those experiences.
>    Wow, I am wiped out after sitting through this.
>    I have to admit to feeling a bit confused about the whole ibogaine 
>thing. I felt wonderful and KNEW it was going to fade and many have made 
>their various suggestions, and yet, here I am, right back near pretty 
>freakin much where I started...well, that's not really quite right, I'm not 
>doing 30 40 dilaudids a day, but I am taking them at a level that my doc is 
>calling "a lot" which is never a good sign. God damn it I'd set up aother 
>session for "before Christmas" but when the provider called saying "we've 
>got to set/finalize this up," I've blown off calling him back (and feel 
>very badly about it as I feel he's a friend of mine) but it's very hard to 
>call someone like this and say, "no, can't quite afford it," or "no, not 
>really quite ready to go again as much as I think I might want to 
>sometimes" etc, etc, you know, all jumbled and confused and not quite sure 
>what I want to do. Or what to think really.
>    Anyway, the point of this is I still recommend ibogaine to anyone who 
>wants to give it a try, and would probably at some point yes do it again. 
>But watching this film tonight made me realize just how much I really am 
>unsure about subjecting myself to that experience again- even with an 
>insatiable opiate appetite. After what has happened to many (to the best of 
>my very, very limited knowlege "a lot") in NYC after going through what was 
>a very happy time but now experiencing not quite as happy times I'd 
>imagine, I'm as noted confused. and unsure about stuff. Heck, again, I 
>don't really know how I feel or really even what I'm trying to say but 
>wanted to vent here and hope you don't mind.
>    Carry on, and again, I highly recommend this movie I spoke of above, 
>it's brilliant, or at least I myself thought.
>
>
>Peace and love,
>Preston
>
>"Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often 
>mistaken for madness"
>Richard Davenport-Hines
>
>ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
>Editor http://www.drugwar.com
>Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs"
>Cont. High Times mag/.com
>Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
>Columnist New York Waste
>Etc.
>
>
>
>  
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