[Ibogaine] Mark's stuff

Preston Peet ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Fri Aug 12 02:27:51 EDT 2005


Said with the love I'm sure is about the same I feel Mark. Seek someone to 
speak to. A mutual friend gave me a name and number of someone who is ibo 
friendly and apparently a sympathetic ear for folk like us- of course I 
haven't called him yet either, but you sound like you really might need to 
call him a bit sooner even than I. Please think about doing so. I have his 
number if you need it and don't already have it, so call or write me 
off-list and I'll give it to you right away. But you gotta contact me first. 
Please.


Peace and love,
Preston

"Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often 
mistaken for madness"
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs"
Editor "Underground- The Disinformation Guide to Ancient Civilizations, 
Astonishing Archeology and Hidden History" (due out Sept. 2005)
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: HSLotsof at aol.com
To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, August 12, 2005 1:23 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine]



In a message dated 8/11/05 12:29:51 PM, mcorcoran27 at yahoo.com writes:




I'm having a very hard time lately. Not because i have a desire to use but 
because i have no idea how to live. Now being opiate free, my rage is 
totally out of control. I'm so disatisfied with life, i go back and forth 
between angry or lathargic most of the time and when the anger takes control 
i become completely nuts.

Last weekend a friend of mine and my sister screwed me over in a way that 
most people would consider unforgivable. After letting these feelings of 
betrayal consume me over the next couple of days I snapped like i always 
seem to these days went to the friends house early yesterday morning and 
kicked his door off the hinges pulled him out of bed and kicked the shit out 
of him. I couldn't stop myself. He was in the hospital all day yesterday and 
is a mess (fortunately) i dont think he's gonna press charges but my hand is 
broken so i'm kind fucked anyway. Everyone i know says that he deserved what 
he got and maybe he did although i feel terrible and the first thing i did 
when i woke up this morning was cry. but what is most desturbing thing about 
this whole ordeal is that i'm sick to my stomach thinking how far this rage 
is taking me. its like since i havent been medicating i've turned into a 
totally differnt kind of nut and quite frankly i dont like high mark but i 
think he might have been much less of an asshole and maybe even less crazy 
on some level.

I dont know what to do. i feel like i'm always behind the 8 ball in every 
important area of my life. the longer i've been straight the more of a mess 
my life seems to become and its not supposed to be like this. i need to get 
out of this city for starters and since i can't seem to be able to make any 
kind of plan to do that i sit angry, satanent and pissed off and thats not a 
good place for anyone to be.

Any sugestions?



Mark,

When I take this report in light of your earlier report where your face was 
beaten to a pulp in brooklyn I can only say you are in a lot of trouble that 
is completely out of my ability to assist except to say you should be in the 
hands of a very competent therapist, psychiatrist, shaman or nganga. And I 
don't means someone of a half assed quality. The class of folks you need are 
one in a thousand or better class if we are lucky.  If you don't get help I 
fear the next post by or about you could easily tell of us of your death. or 
a serious tradgedy  Get it together man.  This is serious stuff.

Howard 




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