[Ibogaine]

Preston Peet ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Thu Aug 11 18:39:17 EDT 2005


Mark wrote >I'm having a very hard time lately. Not because i have a desire 
to use but because i have no idea how to live. Now being opiate free, my 
rage is totally out of control. I'm so disatisfied with life, i go back and 
forth between angry or lathargic most of the time and when the anger takes 
control i become completely nuts.<

Right there with you Mark.

Suggestions? I don't know Mark. I wish I could give you the answer, but it's 
not coming to me. If I think of something other than "I feel for you" I'll 
send it on but for now that's about all I have for you.
Remember to breath, and count to ten before making ANY decision.


Peace and love,
Preston

"Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often 
mistaken for madness"
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs"
Editor "Underground- The Disinformation Guide to Ancient Civilizations, 
Astonishing Archeology and Hidden History" (due out Sept. 2005)
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: mcorcoran
To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Sent: Thursday, August 11, 2005 12:29 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine]


I'm having a very hard time lately. Not because i have a desire to use but 
because i have no idea how to live. Now being opiate free, my rage is 
totally out of control. I'm so disatisfied with life, i go back and forth 
between angry or lathargic most of the time and when the anger takes control 
i become completely nuts.
Last weekend a friend of mine and my sister screwed me over in a way that 
most people would consider unforgivable. After letting these feelings of 
betrayal consume me over the next couple of days I snapped like i always 
seem to these days went to the friends house early yesterday morning and 
kicked his door off the hinges pulled him out of bed and kicked the shit out 
of him. I couldn't stop myself. He was in the hospital all day yesterday and 
is a mess (fortunately) i dont think he's gonna press charges but my hand is 
broken so i'm kind fucked anyway. Everyone i know says that he deserved what 
he got and maybe he did although i feel terrible and the first thing i did 
when i woke up this morning was cry. but what is most desturbing thing about 
this whole ordeal is that i'm sick to my stomach thinking how far this rage 
is taking me. its like since i havent been medicating i've turned into a 
totally differnt kind of nut and quite frankly i dont like high mark but i 
think h! e might have been much less of an asshole and maybe even less crazy 
on some level.
I dont know what to do. i feel like i'm always behind the 8 ball in every 
important area of my life. the longer i've been straight the more of a mess 
my life seems to become and its not supposed to be like this. i need to get 
out of this city for starters and since i can't seem to be able to make any 
kind of plan to do that i sit angry, satanent and pissed off and thats not a 
good place for anyone to be.
Any sugestions?

Preston Peet <ptpeet at nyc.rr.com> wrote:
>did you see "What the bleep do we know"?
there are some interesting animations about addiction.
go slowly but firmly, recover your hijacked brain chemistry.
keep tapering benzos. I know nothing about bup.<

Literallly just finished a book published by the Disinformation Company
(same folks putting out my books) called "Beyond the Bleep," by Alexandra
Bruce, and it explains a lot of the theories proposed and discussed in this
movie mentioned above. I haven't yet seen the film, but a three hour version
is supposedly in the works for Theatrical release later this year, and a
bigger DVD version for early 2006. It sounds like a film I do want to see,
and yes, they do discuss, in some parts apparently, addictive behavior, and
not just to drugs but to others things too, including even emotions.

Peace and love,
Preston

"Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness"
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs"
Editor "Underground- The Disinformation Guide to Ancient Civilizations,
Astonishing Archeology and Hidden History" (due out Sept. 2005)
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Germán DC"
To:
Sent: Thursday, August 11, 2005 9:36 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] oxycontin withdrawl & Bupe


> Ron,
> are you tapering benzos?
> you can do it slowly, but firmly little by little.
> you can do it, you can.
>
> Life is a hard task I agree, but we are here... must be a reason beyond
> our
! > pain.
> did you see "What the bleep do we know"?
> there are some interesting animations about addiction.
> go slowly but firmly, recover your hijacked brain chemistry.
> keep tapering benzos. I know nothing about bup.
>
> From your posts I realized that the worst (talking about legal medecin)
> thing,
> the thing that has hurt me the most, were benzos which were prescribed to
> me
> at 16 y.o. my doctor said:
> "is better for you to take 2mg Valium now, that have an stomach ulcer at
> 30." ,
> he was a good man, and i´m sure he tried to "save me" from worst things to
> happen...
> well I took 2mg a few times, inmediately started to see how much mgs could
> I
> take before my tongue refused to obey me. That was around 35mg. At that
> time
> I couldn´t run, I could do nothing physically demanding. Even in my worst
> moment of heavy (cocaine) addiction I ! wasn´t closer to that state of 
> "body
> impediment", I mean you don´t feel the benzos but they are there all the
> time, disturbing functions.
> I never, never, never ralate my physycal condition to valium.
> It was mixed with some other moments of my life.
> I remember I couldn´t do a 300 mts run, I never realized why... until
> your
> posts.
> Thank you for that, one more piece of my "life puzzle" in place.
>
> Expel the terrorist from your brain with diplomacy.
> Violence is absolutely contraindicated.
> No rages. Cryng is better.
> When the mind takes control the heart starts to shut.
> Be back to your heartbeat, again and again.
> Slowly.
> You can.
>
> regards
> gdc.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Ron Davis"
> To:
&g! t; Sent: Thursday, August 11, 2005 1:17 AM
> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] oxycontin withdrawl & Bupe
>
>
>> Howard:
>> I was caught on the oxy train and did not want anything to do with meth.
>> bup wasn't approved for treating dependency but I found a clinic that
>> sold
>> it and rx'd it for "pain" management. It was sold as non addicting or
> light
>> compared to other drugs. I read the lit in the packages and it stated
> w/ds
>> were light. I was also introduced to benzos at the same time, all new
> stuff
>> for me. I just knew I had to lose the oxys b.4it killed me. I now know
> bup
>> is way bad, most providers won't touch you, my stint w/ IBO damn near
> killed
>> me although Tommy, the provider was great. I d/n realize what a number I
>> had done on myself. I think I need 3 weeks to clear myself at my age and
>> only had ! 10 days b/c of work. I fear for my life and profession.
>> Anything
>> you can throw my way would greatly be appreciated, I.a. titrate
>> schedules,
>> etc.I think I'm screwed and want to live again. Can't do IBO b/c c/no get
> a
>> short acting opiate in the bible belt and job requirements. I truly fear
>> for my life. This body is beat. God help me and the others, wish I could
> go
>> to Sara's as she has the handle on this poison. That's my story . Life is
> a
>> chore, hope it sheds insight into your work and saves my arse. I was
>> desparate. Help if you can, advice, etc. I'm here by my own hand,
>> probably
>> die by it. Don't mean to be a downer for the list, just telling a story
> that
>> may help others. Help is needed. rwd
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From:
>> To:
>> Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:01 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] oxycontin withdrawl & Bupe
>>
>>
>> >
>> > In a message dated 8/10/05 10:09:13 AM, rwd3 at cox.net writes:
>> >
>> > << After several yrs. of riding the bup train, IM, I have found it to
>> > be
> a
>> > wolf in sheep's clothing. I loathe the day the Doc told me it wasn't
>> > addicting,
>> > blah, blah...it has a vicious bite on withdrawal..short term only...I'm
>> > late
>> > by several years. It has kicked me arse many times..strickly harm
>> > reduction
>> > to coin a phrase used by one of our learned members. ron >>
>> >
>> > Hi Ron,
>> >
>> > Language is important here. Any professional these days would not use
> the
>&! gt; > term addicting as it has no scientific/academic/medical formal
>> > recognition. The
>> > drug may not be addicting but, its use over time certainly causes
>> > dependence
>> > and withdrawal you bet. I am going to look into this further in the
>> > methadone/buprenorphine side of my world.
>> >
>> > I wouldn't mind list comments on this subject.
>> >
>> > Best regards.
>> >
>> > Howard
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
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