Nick Sandberg nick227 at tiscali.co.uk
Thu Aug 11 13:04:11 EDT 2005

Hi M,

I suggest you check out the options from the world of therapy. The feeling
and expression of anger is the body's natural reaction to a sense of
invasion. Often we have a lot of feelings, judgments and conditioning around
anger but it is actually a natural and healthy thing to be angry. However,
it is necessary to work with it in a proper therapeutic setting so that you
can get the benefit of what your body is trying to do and not end up
attacking someone or getting stuck in a lot of guilt and struggling to
repress your own feelings.

When the body starts to open up more from a previously compacted state, it
is quite common for feelings of extreme anger and rage to come up, sometimes
triggered by things that are quite out of proportion to the level of
feeling. For sure, this can be very scary and there is often the feeling
that you don't know yourself any more and don't know what you're capable of.
It is important to get yourself into a place where you can talk about what's
going on for you to others without being judged and where you can work
energetically with releasing the feelings and allowing the expansion that is
trying to happen. The experience of frequent anger or rage is always a sign
that the body is trying to expand energetically.

It is important to recognize what is going on for you and be responsible for
it. I suggest you do what you can to check out therapists in your area,
either one-to-one guys or people who work with groups. Explain what is
happening for you and ask if they can work with you. Maybe ask to come along
for an interview or a trial so you can be sure it's right for you.

This is what I would suggest. Feel free to contact me off list if you like.

All the best


  -----Original Message-----
  From: mcorcoran [mailto:mcorcoran27 at yahoo.com]
  Sent: 11 August 2005 17:29
  To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
  Subject: Re: [Ibogaine]

  I'm having a very hard time lately. Not because i have a desire to use but
because i have no idea how to live. Now being opiate free, my rage is
totally out of control. I'm so disatisfied with life, i go back and forth
between angry or lathargic most of the time and when the anger takes control
i become completely nuts.
  Last weekend a friend of mine and my sister screwed me over in a way that
most people would consider unforgivable. After letting these feelings of
betrayal consume me over the next couple of days I snapped like i always
seem to these days went to the friends house early yesterday morning and
kicked his door off the hinges pulled him out of bed and kicked the shit out
of him. I couldn't stop myself. He was in the hospital all day yesterday and
is a mess (fortunately) i dont think he's gonna press charges but my hand is
broken so i'm kind fucked anyway. Everyone i know says that he deserved what
he got and maybe he did although i feel terrible and the first thing i did
when i woke up this morning was cry. but what is most desturbing thing about
this whole ordeal is that i'm sick to my stomach thinking how far this rage
is taking me. its like since i havent been medicating i've turned into a
totally differnt kind of nut and quite frankly i dont like high mark but i
think he might have been much less of an asshole and maybe even less crazy
on some level.
  I dont know what to do. i feel like i'm always behind the 8 ball in every
important area of my life. the longer i've been straight the more of a mess
my life seems to become and its not supposed to be like this. i need to get
out of this city for starters and since i can't seem to be able to make any
kind of plan to do that i sit angry, satanent and pissed off and thats not a
good place for anyone to be.
  Any sugestions?

  Preston Peet <ptpeet at nyc.rr.com> wrote:
    >did you see "What the bleep do we know"?
    there are some interesting animations about addiction.
    go slowly but firmly, recover your hijacked brain chemistry.
    keep tapering benzos. I know nothing about bup.<

    Literallly just finished a book published by the Disinformation Company
    (same folks putting out my books) called "Beyond the Bleep," by
    Bruce, and it explains a lot of the theories proposed and discussed in
    movie mentioned above. I haven't yet seen the film, but a three hour
    is supposedly in the works for Theatrical release later this year, and a
    bigger DVD version for early 2006. It sounds like a film I do want to
    and yes, they do discuss, in some parts apparently, addictive behavior,
    not just to drugs but to others things too, including even emotions.

    Peace and love,

    "Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
    mistaken for madness"
    Richard Davenport-Hines

    ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
    Editor http://www.drugwar.com
    Editor "Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs"
    Editor "Underground- The Disinformation Guide to Ancient Civilizations,
    Astonishing Archeology and Hidden History" (due out Sept. 2005)
    Cont. High Times mag/.com
    Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
    Columnist New York Waste

    ----- Original Message -----
    From: "Germán DC"
    Sent: Thursday, August 11, 2005 9:36 AM
    Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] oxycontin withdrawl & Bupe

    > Ron,
    > are you tapering benzos?
    > you can do it slowly, but firmly little by little.
    > you can do it, you can.
    > Life is a hard task I agree, but we are here... must be a reason
    > our
    > pain.
    > did you see "What the bleep do we know"?
    > there are some interesting animations about addiction.
    > go slowly but firmly, recover your hijacked brain chemistry.
    > keep tapering benzos. I know nothing about bup.
    > From your posts I realized that the worst (talking about legal
    > thing,
    > the thing that has hurt me the most, were benzos which were prescribed
    > me
    > at 16 y.o. my doctor said:
    > "is better for you to take 2mg Valium now, that have an stomach ulcer
    > 30." ,
    > he was a good man, and i´m sure he tried to "save me" from worst
things to
    > happen...
    > well I took 2mg a few times, inmediately started to see how much mgs
    > I
    > take before my tongue refused to obey me. That was around 35mg. At
    > time
    > I couldn´t run, I could do nothing physically demanding. Even in my
    > moment of heavy (cocaine) addiction I wasn´t closer to that state of
    > impediment", I mean you don´t feel the benzos but they are there all
    > time, disturbing functions.
    > I never, never, never ralate my physycal condition to valium.
    > It was mixed with some other moments of my life.
    > I remember I couldn´t do a 300 mts run, I never realized why... until
    > your
    > posts.
    > Thank you for that, one more piece of my "life puzzle" in place.
    > Expel the terrorist from your brain with diplomacy.
    > Violence is absolutely contraindicated.
    > No rages. Cryng is better.
    > When the mind takes control the heart starts to shut.
    > Be back to your heartbeat, again and again.
    > Slowly.
    > You can.
    > regards
    > gdc.
    > ----- Original Message -----
    > From: "Ron Davis"
    > To:
    > Sent: Thursday, August 11, 2005 1:17 AM
    > Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] oxycontin withdrawl & Bupe
    >> Howard:
    >> I was caught on the oxy train and did not want anything to do with
    >> bup wasn't approved for treating dependency but I found a clinic that
    >> sold
    >> it and rx'd it for "pain" management. It was sold as non addicting or
    > light
    >> compared to other drugs. I read the lit in the packages and it stated
    > w/ds
    >> were light. I was also introduced to benzos at the same time, all new
    > stuff
    >> for me. I just knew I had to lose the oxys b.4it killed me. I now
    > bup
    >> is way bad, most providers won't touch you, my stint w/ IBO damn near
    > killed
    >> me although Tommy, the provider was great. I d/n realize what a
number I
    >> had done on myself. I think I need 3 weeks to clear myself at my age
    >> only had 10 days b/c of work. I fear for my life and profession.
    >> Anything
    >> you can throw my way would greatly be appreciated, I.a. titrate
    >> schedules,
    >> etc.I think I'm screwed and want to live again. Can't do IBO b/c c/no
    > a
    >> short acting opiate in the bible belt and job requirements. I truly
    >> for my life. This body is beat. God help me and the others, wish I
    > go
    >> to Sara's as she has the handle on this poison. That's my story .
Life is
    > a
    >> chore, hope it sheds insight into your work and saves my arse. I was
    >> desparate. Help if you can, advice, etc. I'm here by my own hand,
    >> probably
    >> die by it. Don't mean to be a downer for the list, just telling a
    > that
    >> may help others. Help is needed. rwd
    >> ----- Original Message -----
    >> From:
    >> To:
    >> Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:01 PM
    >> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] oxycontin withdrawl & Bupe
    >> >
    >> > In a message dated 8/10/05 10:09:13 AM, rwd3 at cox.net writes:
    >> >
    >> > << After several yrs. of riding the bup train, IM, I have found it
    >> > be
    > a
    >> > wolf in sheep's clothing. I loathe the day the Doc told me it
    >> > addicting,
    >> > blah, blah...it has a vicious bite on withdrawal..short term
    >> > late
    >> > by several years. It has kicked me arse many times..strickly harm
    >> > reduction
    >> > to coin a phrase used by one of our learned members. ron >>
    >> >
    >> > Hi Ron,
    >> >
    >> > Language is important here. Any professional these days would not
    > the
    >> > term addicting as it has no scientific/academic/medical formal
    >> > recognition. The
    >> > drug may not be addicting but, its use over time certainly causes
    >> > dependence
    >> > and withdrawal you bet. I am going to look into this further in the
    >> > methadone/buprenorphine side of my world.
    >> >
    >> > I wouldn't mind list comments on this subject.
    >> >
    >> > Best regards.
    >> >
    >> > Howard
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> > [%] Ibogaine List Commands:
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    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
    >> >
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