[Ibogaine] Why tink flipped -or- an attempt at apologising and explaining...
UUSEAN at aol.com
UUSEAN at aol.com
Thu Aug 4 12:26:18 EDT 2005
In a message dated 8/4/2005 10:02:45 AM Eastern Standard Time,
matt at itsupport.net writes:
Despite what my head tells me, I seem to
recall that my lowest most unhappy point was when I was selling dope for my
dealer, so the heroin was cheap and easy and I had extra money for crack so
I was loaded constantly. And in the midst of the greatest abundance of
drugs I have ever known I wanted to die.
To my way of thinking your head is reminding you of reality too when you
remember how it was really was, like what you typed above. I have spent the
last year learning to hear the voices in my head. (outside of therapy this
sounds really strange.:-) Part of really wanted to quit shooting while other
parts could not picture life without drugs...all in the same head.
As for the spiritual path's effectiveness...I have seen that those who click
with spiritual methods do really well in 12 step programs. Part of my
recovery has kind of been the opposite, accepting that I really don't believe in
higher powers and that 12 step groups will be of little help to me. So it
seems to me from observation that what is effective varies with each individual.
Also, sometimes what is refereed to as spiritual could also be called
ethical or moral. I do find that any day I don't steal or deal drugs, it is
easier to stay clean that day.
Probably a matter partly of association. Personally I don't think I could
stay clean if I were dealing H for example.
Glad your on the list and doing well Matt. You made some really good points
in your post.
And I agree that Mindvox is a meeting of sorts from time to time. Other
times it really defies description.
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