[Ibogaine] Why tink flipped -or- an attempt at apologising and explaining...

UUSEAN at aol.com UUSEAN at aol.com
Thu Aug 4 12:26:18 EDT 2005


 
In a message dated 8/4/2005 10:02:45 AM Eastern Standard Time,  
matt at itsupport.net writes:

Despite  what my head tells me, I seem to
recall that my lowest most unhappy point  was when I was selling dope for my
dealer, so the heroin was cheap and easy  and I had extra money for crack so
I was loaded constantly.  And in  the midst of the greatest abundance of
drugs I have ever known I wanted to  die.




Hi Matt,
 
To my way of thinking your head is reminding you of reality too when you  
remember how it was really was, like what you typed above.   I have  spent the 
last year learning to hear the voices in my head. (outside of therapy  this 
sounds really strange.:-)  Part of really wanted to quit shooting  while other 
parts could not picture life without drugs...all in the same  head.
 
As for the spiritual path's effectiveness...I have seen that those who  click 
with spiritual methods do really well in 12 step programs.  Part of  my 
recovery has kind of been the opposite, accepting that I really don't believe  in 
higher powers and that 12 step groups will be of little help to  me.  So it 
seems to me from observation that what is effective varies with  each individual. 
 Also, sometimes what is refereed to as spiritual could  also be called 
ethical or moral.  I do find that any day I don't steal or  deal drugs, it is 
easier to stay clean that day.
Probably a matter partly of association. Personally I don't think I could  
stay clean if I were dealing H for example.
 
Glad your on the list and doing well Matt.  You made some really good  points 
in your post.
And I agree that Mindvox is a meeting of sorts from time to time. Other  
times it really defies description.
 
Peace,
Sean
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