Scott Porter snporter at
Wed Aug 3 00:53:33 EDT 2005

I've been lurking here since late last year so I thought it was time
to say hello and out myself because I am going to take the plunge and
try ibogaine in the near future. I've heard a little about ibogaine
here and there but didn't pay attention to it until the harm reduction
conference last fall in new orleans when I had the good fortune to see
patrick's talk at the opening plenery, "if the medical establishment
has decided I suffer from a disease then why the fuck am I doing cold
turkey on cement floors behind bars?" yes indeed! Loved the rant and
when I heard ibogaine at the end of the talk I tuned in, signed up and
been reading here and other sites since then. I've never considered
myself a freak and nothing here disturbs me more then any other
meeting I've been to, only difference is the writing and art is high
end and past what most can accomplish or take from the life or un life
thats addiction. I've lived a double life for nearly 20 years, 18 on
heroin while holding down a corp job where nobody knows anything about
what I did when I left the office and 2 on methadone. I've got a month
of vacation time coming up in october and want to give my first go the
best possible shot that I can. I almost expect I will end up needing
more then one session but I like to go into things with the best
expectations. I've never hit bottom exactly, only 1 arrest and that
was a long time ago, never lived on the street and heroin never caused
the rest of my life to go away, I'm married, two kids, good job, I'm
what I'd guess the 12 steppers like to call a functioning addict and
the best I can express is I want to feel some of the life I almost
don't remember from so long ago, it's a longing for something else I
figure and I've run out of veins :^) Wanted to give my thanks to
Howard and Patrick and all of you here who's words i've been reading
for so long, especially enjoy Jeff Gallup, Tink and Preston.
regards to all and sorry for the long letter

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