[Ibogaine] Something very sad that i didn't use over

Ron Davis rwd3 at cox.net
Mon Aug 1 21:41:26 EDT 2005

done, ron
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "tink" <tinkerbell.sarah at gmail.com>
To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
Sent: Monday, August 01, 2005 8:26 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] Something very sad that i didn't use over

I just got back from one of those lethal trips that I take every so
often, when I come back to a neighborhood I haven't been to in on a
long time.  I went to Portsmouth in search of my (hopefully)
ex-husband and a couple of other friends I had heard rumours of doing
well.  What I found kicked my ass sideways into next Tuesday, and I'm
having a very hard time processing it.
About ten years ago, I was a respite care worker for a couple that had
been trying to adopt a young boy named Jesse.  Jesse's birth father
had beat him in the head so hard with a frying pan that he sustained a
significant amount of brain damage, and it was my job to do all of the
fun stuff with him, like art therapy, and dancing around in silly
clothes to the Spice Girls (his favorite band ever...definately not
mine :0).  I also worked on anger management and basic behaviors, like
eating and going to bathroom.  Sometimes we actually got down to
reading and writing, but he was seven going on four, so mostly I spent
time laughing and playing.
he was my silly bean, and I was, eventually, laboriously, Sarah.  His
speaking skills had been pretty damaged as well, and as a surprise, he
learned my name, regardless of the s.  I have never felt so loved and
honored to know someone in my life.
I was freshly on a methadone clinic, and his foster parents took a
chance on me, and that is something else I'll never forget.  They
didn't fire me after a relapse that resulted in a couple of lost days
in Massachuessette's jail. I'm still amazed!
I stopped by the restaurant that Jesse's foster dad managed when I
worked for them , and was told by the bartender that he was not
hanging out much, not since his son died last month.  When I asked
what happened, all he could say was it had something to do with the
head trauma he had received and "complications".
My silly bean had a good couple of years with Lars and Judy, and the
year I spent as his teacher and mentor are invaluable in both learning
experience and personal growth.  Jesse taught me more than I can
mention here about dealing with life on life's terms, and how to keep
a smile on my face, in the face of adversity.  He also taught me the
power and love of caring selflessly for some one else.
If any of you think about it, light a candle for Jesse, Judy and Lars.
And call some one you love a silly bean.

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