[ibogaine]the idea of tripping.
sara119 at xs4all.nl
Tue Aug 31 07:25:57 EDT 2004
Sometimes it is scary to think about tripping, but even without tripping
mushrooms in small amount can help you therapeutically.
It isn't about fun, but about a rollercoaster, when you come out of it you
are happy to be alive. A short cut to transformation on many levels.
Here is something I like to share with you, about the help of plant
It is not always easy to work with Ayahuasca. There is for example the
demand to make and test the Ayahuasca that you are going to use on yourself,
before you give it to anyone else. This process carries certain risks. I
have been looking for all kinds of different Ayahuasca mixes to work with. I
want one that is visual, but also one that is powerful enough to keep us in
its grip, and allow for steady visions, as well as the therapeutic
processes, that seem to come only when the visual effects are accompanied by
a 'no escape' sensation.
These therapeutic effects are sometimes so powerful that even a person with
quite lot of experience must go through a lot of pain and suffering. I have
had a few death/re-birth experiences during the years that I took Ayahuasca,
but last nights session was one of the most powerful I ever experienced, so
I would like to tell you a little bit about it.
The admixture I was using is a mix of Mimosa Hostilis (Jurema) and
Banisteriopsis Caapi (Jagube). The latter was supplied by an online supplier
for testing purposes only, and I was aware that it is an extract,
concentrated 10:1. The question is however what does this really mean? In
the Santo Daime churches there is a scale for expressing the strength of
Daime, ranging from Primeiro Degrau (first degree) then Doubrado (doubled)
and finally there is Mel (honey), the concentration of which is anyone's
guess. How can such highly concentrated substances be tested, if not simply
by taking some and praying that the dose is not too powerful?
Since my supplier had received the information that the Banisteriopsis Caapi
10:1 mixture which came in the form of a dried powder meant that one gram
was a full dose, I began testing it (on my own) at half its strength. I
presumed that I would be able to feel the MAO action, as a shift in my
Serotonin level. Peganum Harmala (Syrian Rue) can be felt quite powerfully
after ingestion, and I presumed this would be true of the Caapi as well.
Indeed I did feel it some minutes after I ingested it, but I did not take
any DMT containing substance, and the effects went unnoticed after about two
I decided to spend the Saturday at Sara's house, and take a new dose there
with her. This time, I served myself a full dose of 1 gram (dissolved in
water) and drank a full does of Jurema a few minutes later. I gave Sara a
smaller dose, which was unnecessary I found out later, because she has had
much experience with Iboga, and that substance is much more powerful. After
about half an hour the force of the Ayahuasca gripped me. I threw up, but
that did nothing to lessen the onslaught. It is hard to describe the
gripping force of the substance, but I felt as if my body and mind were held
in a vice, a vice that was moving and flying through space and time. I was
unable to focus, and hardly able to sit still. I started to have my doubts
about the dosage, and to think that I had maybe made a mistake, perhaps even
a lethal one. Sara on the other hand seemed fairly relaxed, lying on the
couch with a blanket over herself.
I decided that I would have to go all the way this time, even if it meant
dying, I wanted to lose it: just surrender to whatever it was that was going
to happen. I started to say goodbye and thank all the people and spirits
that had been guiding me. Naturally there was a lot of sorrow, and I was
very grateful for Sara being there, and allowing me to express my feelings.
I could not feel the end of the tunnel, but gradually as I resigned myself,
the feelings of dread started to lift. Perhaps many years ago I would have
been unable to see that I had survived, but things have changed, and I could
laugh again, still a little shaky but nonetheless a lot wiser.
I am so glad that I had that experience, and I know that such therapeutic
doses are what I wish to work with, but I have never allowed myself the
freedom to administer them myself, for the simple reason that I would never
give someone something that I had not taken myself. Now I know what a high
dose I can administer, new possibilities open themselves, for those friends
who wish to experience this for themselves, and have adequate guidance and
friendship and love around them while they are processing whatever comes up,
such a dose is now available!
This session has allowed me to reconsider a number of things (including a
few personal matters as you may imagine) and one of the things I would like
to try is to offer such healing works in small groups. There will be a
financial contribution to make, of around 85 -100 euros per session. The way
I have arrived at this figure is by comparing the type of work going on at
the Santo Daime and other Ayahuasca groups. Therapeutic results reached
during such sessions normally occur only infrequently, the norm seems to be
that one has to ask for a larger than normal dose, but in such large groups
it is very hard to willingly take such large doses and allow the spirit of
the Ayahuasca to take over completely. Secondly, the substance itself costs
quite a lot more to prepare than if it were made in large batches, such as
the Daime. Thirdly, any money left over after the costs of the substance
have been deducted, go towards the house where the session takes place, in
this case Sara's home, which is a place where healing takes place, and where
Iboga is used to help drug addicts free themselves. Sara tries to make this
work affordable, but it is difficult for her to make ends meet, so I would
like to help her this way.
We can be contacted at the following e-mail adresses:
Daniel Nashiv Waterman : waterman.design at wxs.nl
Sara Glatt : sara119 at xs4all.nl
Van: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet at nyc.rr.com]
Verzonden: dinsdag 31 augustus 2004 8:23
Aan: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [ibogaine]
>the idea of tripping whilst hanging
out is not very appealing,however I am sure you have reason.<
Oh my goodness, I had the exactly opposite reaction to yours when reading
Sara's letter Jasen.
Peace and love,
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