[ibogaine]Sean, Preston and Mark

Allison Senepart paradisepaint at callsouth.net.nz
Sat Aug 28 07:28:12 EDT 2004


Hey Preston,  From what I know you are a really good person.  You can't
please everyone all of the time so have faith in yourself and listen to V. 
Sounds like she knows you well & has your best interests at hear and failing
all that say Bollocks to the ones who don't like what you do.  Its your life
and your the one who has to live in your skin, not them.  Best wishes 
Allison 
 
-------Original Message-------
 
From: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Date: Saturday, 28 August 2004 2:31:25 a.m.
To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [ibogaine]Sean, Preston and Mark
 
No,
     Thank You Hattie.
     But I want to say publicly that of the three of us here in NYC who've
recently taken ibogaine, Sean is most impressive to me, in that he's older
and I imagine even more used to, or set, in his using patterns- so his
breaking them, while staying at his parents and doing it in his parents'
presense no less, impresses the hell outta me. He just seems to be moving
steadily forward, and I'm very much enjoying watching/reading about it, or
at least, he's inspiring me even when I don't pay that close of attention.
(I get selfish and pay a lot of attention to myself and my own issues and
troubles actually, which sometimes leaves me feeling guilty, which I think
is probably pretty silly but still- and it's a major reason why I don't want
to undergo group therapy, because I don't always want to deal with other
people's shit, although I am going today mainly because I want to meet Sean
face to face).
     On a slightly related note- I've been noticing that I'm really feeling
very blue today, not so happy at all and actually very depressed. I'm not
sure why. I think it's partly due to the reaction I had from someone towards
me yesterday, someone who in any other situation would have had my utmost
respect and props, and did have it until I got his attitude, (which to be
very honest coulda just been me being paranoid too, which leaves me feeling
even worse about it) - V pointed out to me this morning that she suspects
that because I want everyone to like me, or at least get along with me, and
do tend to usually get very positive feedback from people, that when I do
come across someone who either blows me off or disrespects me, or whatever
unpositive thing I feel/think they Might be doing/acting towards me really
affects me, me being a sensitive type and all.
     She may have a good point- I'm not sure. I'm going to be very
disappointed in myself if this is really the case and that's the cause of my
blue feelings. Then again, it may be better to actually have an explaination
for it, no matter how stupid or silly, rather than continue to think that
I'm feeling like shit for no reason at all.
     So I guess the Golden Time is wearing off already, and now I'm dealing
with life on its own terms again- ick. (I do still get the occasional flash
of trails and gittery vision, as late as last night I was noticing ibo
effects, but they aren't seemingly doing anything to my mood in a good, or
at least, happyfying way.)
Peace and love to all,
Preston
 
 
----- Original Message -----
From: "Hattie" <epoptica at freeuk.com>
To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 26, 2004 6:11 PM
Subject: [ibogaine] Preston and Mark
 
 
> Preston and Mark,
>
> Been keeping up with your experiences and wanted to say that what you have
> done is totally brilliant and inspiring ....... and sharing your
experience
> provides a really valuable insight for all on the list. So big THANKS!
>
> Hattie
>
>
>
>
>
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