[ibogaine] About NA after ibogaine. Long message PLEASE read!

UUSEAN at aol.com UUSEAN at aol.com
Tue Aug 24 20:52:29 EDT 2004


Hi Robert,

I am an NA dropout.  I tried it on and off for twenty years before deciding 
that NA was simply not for me.  What I got from the material you are discussing 
is that you have to believe in whatever it is you are doing to stay clean 
will keep you clean.  An AA actually told me this.  In his not so humble opinion 
AA can never work if the AAer does not have faith in the program.

I do not have faith in the program.  The 12 steps feel to me like visiting 
someone else's church.  Nice for you, but ain't my thing.  Except I was there to 
save my life, so I stuck around.  Stayed clean for two years, relapsed ten 
years ago...used until last week when I tried ibo.

The point?  I have to believe that something will work to keep me clean.  I 
see ibo as part of a healing and maturing process for me. I am a 39 year old 
man with HIV and HepC.  If I keep smoking crack, shooting heroin and drinking, I 
won't live to see much of my forties.

So I am ready to change. I believe that ibogaine is an essential part of that 
process. I am also in a very introspective form of therapy called Internal 
Family systems. On Friday I am going to a post ibo support group.  I believe in 
these things as helpful and or essential in my process of change, of staying 
clean.

But most of all I am believing for the first time in myself.  And I think 
this is really they key.  I don't have to believe in 12 steps (again great for 
those they work for), I don't even believe ibogaine is the "cure" for my 
addiction.  I believe in me and my healing.  I believe also in the people on this 
list who are making incredible changes in their life which I have witnessed in 
the brief time I have been here.

Without a desire to change, though, and a belief in myself and the healing t
ools around me, I a'int never goin change.  

If nothing changes, nothing changes, dig?:)

Sean
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