Carry Guilt 4 Ages

Jason Bursey jasonburseyiboga at
Sat Aug 21 16:44:06 EDT 2004

 BA285063-5BCE-11D4-AF8D-0050DAC67E11B838097F-8B3F-4DF5-86EC-FA78FFA9987Frepeat#eff3f7left0pxANIM3D00-NONE-0000-0000-0000000000000ANIM3D00-NONE-0000-0000-00000000000016486DDE0-3EFD-11D4-BA3D-0050DAC6803006486DDE0-3EFD-11D4-BA3D-0050DAC680301C3C52140-4147-11D4-BA3D-0050DAC680300X-ASN,X-ASH,X-AN,X-AP,X-AD;Do you think most or a lot of us have OD'S and are still lucky to be here.  I did it having a bath, nice hot water and cruising after work, my partner gave me a shot and the next thing I know hes standing me up by the fire rubbing me with a towel and my daughter is looking at me like really scared.  Thats a guilt trip I will have to carry for ages.   \Allison 
I wish I had some magic words for you, I think OD's are pretty common, especially amongst 'casual' junkies.  I still have a hard time when I think about how selfish I acted, I still feel shame over those things.  
My logic says that guilt/shame are unproductive emotions.  But my path seems to say their is work to be done to banish all the way.  Life would be easier if I could just lay it down and walk away, but I don't see how that's possible while the memories are still smoldering.
I guess I just wanted to say, you aren't alone.
"Recieved a letter saying I wasn't significant poet afterall.  If I was, everyone else would be too" -John Cage Diary 6
Take Care,

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