[ibogaine] Re:charlie and ibogaine isn't fun, really

shelley krupa skrupa20022002 at yahoo.com
Thu Aug 19 14:57:37 EDT 2004


Hi List,thought Id check in for the week,holding steady at 11 weeks ,no urges for opiates & no opiate use-YEAH!!!!But when I read about the self destructive deal I have to respond,that has been my week.I have been able to drink socially for a while.It has been great to go out & have a couple beers with friends.However,the past couple of weeks it started to become more of a priority,I started to be able to drink more,& I had a couple of mild hangovers.Then Sunday I got drunk.I didnt go to work ,I didnt answer the phone,I felt SO low.I thought alot about my ibogaine insights & had -well chose to be honest with myself-my behaviour was self desrtuctive & doesnt fit my new lifestyle.One of my ibogaine statements I affirm each day is about telling myself the truth,by asking inside.Well ,that was challenging!Im not trying to lay out some 12 step nonsense either,believe me Im not 12 step.That low I felt was almost as bad as when I was fucking up with the pills,so Im choosing to affirm the
 truths I learned,they dont mean shit unless I live it!Im loving hearing everyones progress & plans.Callie- Im a nurse too,psych 25 years.happy trailers-shell

Preston Peet <ptpeet at nyc.rr.com> wrote:>Let's face it, if drugs were legal, plentiful and cheap, the majority of us
would not be experiencing any major problems with getting high.<

Hi Julian and all,
While I too believe this for the most part, I discovered that in my own
case...shit, can't believe I'm about to actually write this...I had legal,
plentiful and relatively cheap drugs, lotsa lotsa drugs, and still seemed to
suddenly come to this point where, well, I didn't any longer have plentiful
supplies as no matter how many I was getting and doing, it just weren't
Enuf.
Darn it.
This is just me, and I do agree with your "I love euphoria" comment. I
too love it, a lot.

>So the problem as I see it is not specifically drugs, or depression or
stealing and lying, whatever! It is the bigger picture of engaging in self
destructive behavior and possessing a self destructive attitude. THIS IS
WHAT I WANT TO SEE AND CHANGE.<

Yeah, I'll definitely second this one.

>That's the beauty of this: there are no firm ground rules or policy. What
ever you go into it with is the reson to do it, and whatever you come out of
it with is the benefit and effect.<

SEcond this too.
Peace and love,
Preston


----- Original Message ----- 
From: Sapphirestardus at aol.com
To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
Sent: Thursday, August 19, 2004 1:34 PM
Subject: Re: [ibogaine] Re:charlie and ibogaine isn't fun, really


Preston it is wonderful to hear you describe your experience. I think the
most important thing for everyone to keep in mind is that Ibogaine is not
about 'getting off drugs'. If that effect occurs for you, fantastic! I have
spoken with alot of people who are on the forum but privately as well as
other people in general. I have come to the knowledge that for me, it is
more about living a fucked up life that I have a problem with. I have never
wanted to stop getting high. I love euphoria!! Always did, always will! I
believe most people feel that way but often confuse the issue of getting
high and fucking up your life. If after the experience, I wish to stay off
meth and other drugs fine. I am more interested in learning more about
myself and my behavior patterns and changing those that I see as unhealthy.
Let's face it, if drugs were legal, plentiful and cheap, the majority of us
would not be experiencing any major problems with getting high. I know with
me, it wasn't the euphoria that plagued me but society's treatment of drugs
and the people that use them. It is expensive, risky in getting ripped off
and/or busted and can be dangerous to your health (due to poor quality
standards in manufacturing) all because it is illegal. So the problem as I
see it is not specifically drugs, or depression or stealing and lying,
whatever! It is the bigger picture of engaging in self destructive behavior
and possessing a self destructive attitude. THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO SEE AND
CHANGE. I think what it comes down to is I could never proselytize any
belief system or philosophy, especially with Ibogaine for one's motivation
and reason for using it (and other drugs) really is personal, subjective and
relative. That's the beauty of this: there are no firm ground rules or
policy. What ever you go into it with is the reson to do it, and whatever
you come out of it with is the benefit and effect. Anyway, I'm talking too
much I think.

Have a really
good day,
Julian



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