[ibogaine] For Patrick

Patrick K. Kroupa digital at phantom.com
Mon Aug 16 10:20:10 EDT 2004

On Aug 15, 2004, at 10:15 PM, T. W. wrote:

> 	I've been reading this list for a long time because in spite of the 
> outbursts
> and craziness it has more information about ibogaine and what is 
> happening
> right now then any other resource that exists. The fact that its live, 
> not
> censored or moderated is strength and weakness. it makes it hard to 
> find
> something between 200 messages of something else but at least nothing 
> is ever
> removed or kept off it.
> 	Patrick what I would say to you are afew things and I'll start at the 
> top and
> work my way down.

Thanks for sharing your observations, all of it is terribly 
fascinating.  The few comments I have are the following.

While I have talked about ibogaine with Preston, and given him 
opinions, observations and input; I have absolutely no idea where -- or 
with whom -- he was treated.

Regarding the rest of your missive ... the moment I can rearrange 
everything on Earth to better suit your personal needs, I will be sure 
to notify you.  Prior to this event I would appreciate it if you did 
not address "Dear Patrick," messages to me, and then proceed to dump 
them to the entire list because I don't reply to you.

Hello ... I too, am alive.  I'm busy.  I expend a tremendous amount of 
my personal time and energy ensuring that this list in particular, 
continues to function.  It does not magically maintain itself; add new 
subscribers, replace burnt hardware, update itself, and exist, due to 
the efforts of people such as yourself who take an open forum which I 
personally provide, and express their, "respect and gratitude," by 
sending "me" histrionic diatribes -- and then proceeding to mass-mail 
them to roughly 5,000 people all at once when I don't respond.

Speaking of which, the connection that makes all of this possible, is 
also not free.  Completely discounting the rack of hardware, and the 
sizable expenditure of my personal time and energy it requires to keep 
all of this going -- bandwidth is not free.  Just plugging our rack in, 
amounts to running a DDOS attack on our hosting facility.

"What the fuck is all that crap that sails in and out of there?"

Uhm, that's all us.

"I see.  Well, here's your bill for all that!"

But ... we're Saving the Universe!

"That's nice.  Saving the Universe, selling porn, or serving ads...  
It's all the same to us.  Here's your bill!"

What's your address, were you volunteering to pay the bill?  I'll add 
in a conservative monthly estimate of how many hours I personally spend 
dealing with everything associated with THIS LIST alone.  Since it's 
not-for-profit, I'll charge only 1/3rd the standard hourly rate for 
unix consulting (which is about $75 bucks an hour in Florida; $100 - 
$150 an hour in NY or California).  And that figure doesn't include web 
design, art, writing copy, or doing anything esoteric like security, 
load-balancing, or working with SQL which is required at the backend.

Or ... were you just volunteering to answer my email?  Respond to 
ibogaine-related questions (personal or to the list in general?)  
Provide emotional support to the way-fucked?  What?  Please specify, 
I'll start sending YOU all of it.

Here's a 24 hour snapshot of it.  A large variety of letters Just Like 
Yours, tends to fill it up.  Enjoy.


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