[ibogaine] shut up, yer not in the club

Preston Peet ptpeet at nyc.rr.com
Thu Aug 5 22:52:15 EDT 2004

>  think its a gift and sometimes
its neccessary  to feel disomfort to becom free of
something. Hope that came out properly. Take care.<

This was very reassuring and I say "thanks Jaden," especially reading it
directly after Leslie's note that seemed to say, "if you're not in my club I
don't wanna know." Maybe I'm sensitive, not being in the club yet. But
regardless, Jaden's note was much more in tune with what I wanted to read at
this momentous (to me) brink in my life. The positive notes are helping a
lot, as are most others too. But Leslie's just bummed me out. It sounded
exactly like what I used to hear over and over in NA meetings- "you're on
methadone? Fuck off and shut up- what could you possibly have to say to me,
still-high-guy? I'm clean and want my exclusive clubhouse, without you dirty
people messing up my space."
       Peace and love, and trying to stay positive but as noted still
feeling a little nervous and sensitive (not to mention perhaps insensitive
to Leslie) and excited and happy and tumbled and scared and apprehensive and
jittery and very very much looking forward to this and, well, perhaps you

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jaden Shaw" <jadensheldon at yahoo.ca>
To: <ibogaine at mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 05, 2004 6:02 PM
Subject: Re: [ibogaine] Ibogaine Patients' Bill of Rights

> I'm some junkie from Vancouver. Maybe I do have
> potential after all and if being some junkie from New
> York was your pool of strength then I guess I also
> have a pool to drink from. I would not have been
> introduced to Ibogaine had it not been for Howard  and
> Marc Emery and so to you both I am grateful. I suspect
> that everyone who has experienced Ibogaine is like me
> in the way  that even if they go back to using, their
> lives have been transformed in no small way by the
> experience. And I cant shake it. I have been learning
> as much as I can every day about Ibogaine for the last
> two years and being this list has allowed me to talk
> to people who acctually know what I am talking about.
> I grew up in the system and my education and attitude
> has always been pure street. So when I was pulled off
> the street by Marc Emery  to guinea pig some african
> root that would supposedly get me clean I didnt
> believe a word of it, but I had nothing to loose.
> When I came out the other side I was different,
> because I was myself for the first time. Well I didnt
> know this self but I was anxious to get to know me.
> The last two years since Ibogaine have been the best
> of my  whole life. I  got to  do a year of film school
> and help people get off methadone with Ibogaine and
> learn the guitar and see what human relationships are
> really all about. Its lonely is really the only think
> that makes me sad about living. Sure I have friends
> but when you  cant share your passions with them it
> sometimes makes you lonely. Can anyone relate?
>  About the man who wasnt happy with his Ibogaine
> experience. For me, it was very visual and very
> personalised. I did have to relive a few things that
> made me very uncomfortable. Who wants to be faced with
> a bunch of truth right? But Ibogaine put me in  that
> state of now. Inside Ibogaine I dont think you can
> experience fear, I dont think you can have a bad trip.
> I saw things that when they happened I was younger and
> very scared at the time. When I saw it again through
> my Ibo-eyes I could see that yes it was a scary
> situation for me but I had an understanding of it that
> wasnt there before . When I "awoke" I knew that it
> really wasnt my  fault it was just something that
> happened to me that sucked. But that new understanding
> was so liberating. Ibogaine gave that to me. My  point
> is that sure the visual part of Ibogaine can be
> uncomfortable but  I  think its a gift and sometimes
> its neccessary  to feel disomfort to becom free of
> something. Hope that came out properly. Take care.
> --- HSLotsof at aol.com wrote:
> >
> > In a message dated 8/4/04 11:51:59 PM,
> > CallieMimosa at aol.com writes:
> >
> > >
> > >In a message dated 8/4/2004 9:19:26 PM Central
> > Daylight Time,
> > >jimhadey3 at yahoo.com writes:
> > >
> > >Some  junkie in New York noticed that it stopped
> > addiction.
> >
> > >That junkie was you wasn't it Howard?
> > >Callie
> >
> > Hi Callie,
> >
> > I guess it always comes down to that...some junkie
> > in new york.  That should
> > be the rallying call for our next president...and
> > now your next president,
> > some junkie from new york.  The answer is yes and I
> > really have to go back to the
> > core strength of having been some junkie in new york
> > because it is amazing
> > that regardless of my doing what many considered
> > impossible: Obtaining patents
> > for ibogaine to treat chemical dependence, getting
> > the DEA to cooperate, after
> > seven or eight years getting NIDA to initiate an
> > ibogaine research program,
> > providing the first contracts to work with ibogaine
> > to both Glick and Mash and a
> > lot more that I will hold for future discussion or
> > really can't say, the
> > strength from which I derived the power to move
> > science and governments was by
> > being some junkie from new york.  Remember Moses was
> > some jew from egypt and
> > Jesus was a convicted criminal.  And yes, lotsof was
> > some junkie from new york.
> > The road that I have walked to make ibogaine
> > available to those who need it is
> > to me the same road of good works of many who have
> > come before me and many who
> > will come after me.  And every time I think of my
> > own work I think of how
> > brave some of the people who have assisted me have
> > been, then and now.
> >
> > Hope that helps and thanks as always.
> >
> > Howard
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >  [%] Ibogaine List Commands:
> > http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%]
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> ______________________________________________________________________
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