[ibogaine] Junkies are sicker than normal
ross at cgl.ucsf.edu
Thu Sep 11 18:30:55 EDT 2003
> There are usually a lot of behavioural relearnings that need
> to go on to stay clean, post ibo or otherwise. My experience
> is that someone needs to learn how to reach out and connect
> with the right person when certain feelings arise instead of
> isolating and using. I'm not talking about you personally
> because I don't know you so well, but mostly it seems to come
> down to this with drug users. It's easy to say and easy to do
> when we feel good but often seemingly impossible when the
> feelings are actually there.
This fits with some thinking I was doing about what Jennifer said
about her childhood.
I imagine that being left to cry as a baby between scheduled feedings
might train a person to "swallow" their worst feelings, such as fear,
anger, and physical discomfort, since there would be no one to share
them with. This reflex in turn might lead to the sense of isolation,
since it would prevent forming fully satisfactory bonds with people
(unless the parents or others could detect the problem and retrain the
child). Rather the child might well end up having a primary goal of
satisfying the needs of the parents as a condition of receiving love,
and the fact that love was received (although at an unfair price) may
make it seem like a healthy situation.
If this is the case, then the habit would predate language and the
ability to think, which could explain why it's so hard to act
differently when the feelings are there - the mind would present the
"swallowing" as the correct thing to do, and if a drug helped to do
this, the drug would be the correct thing. So learning to reach out
to someone who could accept these uncomfortable feelings could be
the natural antidote. I wonder if being heard in such a situation
might even feel like a drug high,
> Normally you gotta be in an environment where
> there are experienced people who can help you and also give
> you love; who accept you and allow you to feel that they do,
> that you feel safe to really show yourself, however you are.
Sounds like excellent advice.
> Na nina na kombo, as they say in the Cameroun.
Nick, what does this mean?
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