[ibogaine] Morphine

paul jackamo pauljackamo at hotmail.com
Mon Jun 16 20:31:54 EDT 2003


hey brett >

thanks for putting up your postings - the universe can be a strange & 
twisted place sometimes....u kick coke, alcohol & nicotine & have to deal 
with old opium jones -
IMVHO - u just dont seem to have the "calling" for opiates/opioids - and 
whether that is genetic/environmental/adaptive is kinda irrelevant - the 
sense of "home at last" just does not seem to be part of your paradigm and 
that is a very good thing.

sorry, this is short - at work at the moment - u really helped me out when i 
needed advice,etc & just wanted to let u know - my thoughts are with you

stay free

paul.

>From: Brett Calabrese <bcalabrese at yahoo.com>
>Reply-To: ibogaine at mindvox.com
>To: ibogaine at ibogiane.org, ibogaine at mindvox.com
>Subject: [ibogaine] Morphine
>Date: Sun, 15 Jun 2003 09:09:22 -0700 (PDT)
>
>I am going off the morphine, YUCK, nasty shit.
>Basically I can't sleep, my skin is dry, nose sore
>from scratching, still itching (I know, that is a
>plus), am cranky, I "wake up" in the middle of a
>conversation continuing where the dream left off...
>before they lock me up. Last night I got up went into
>the kitchen to the fridge and Vivian found me standing
>there in the dark 10 minutes later (standing and
>sleeping I guess)... Ya know I gave up doing that shit
>for "fun" so I will skip the strangeness at this stage
>of my life. It was not great for (this particular)
>pain and morphine gives me a little bit of a headache
>anyway, somewhat different than the headaches I
>normally get so I can tell them apart, with morphine
>my head hurts when I shake it, normally it does not.
>
>Meanwhile while I was on it, I could feel myself being
>pulled closer, my body wanted more than it really
>needed or than I wanted. Somehow more seemed like a
>real good idea (I don't even like it!) - of course we
>have been through this game a few times (lol) so we
>know very well the rules of that game. Anyways, I
>watched/observed myself going through it, detached
>instead of hooked by it (or getting hooked), of course
>I want to watch and see, most do not. Open your eyes,
>it is right there in front of you... ha!
>
>Now, I guess methadone (cheap as dirt) or oxy (very
>expensive but very popular...) is next. Methadone
>being so cheap will be my request, it is harder to
>work with than oxy,  something like start on 5mg or 10
>and then up it 5mg at a time once a week (to maybe
>20-30mg likely). It would also raise less eyebrows
>carrying it around with me, oxy these days is like
>carrying around a couple bags of dope, and that is
>even with a prescription!  So, one more time for the
>record (in case there is confusion). I am taking this
>shit for pain and do not/will not enjoy it even if I
>did. I found out many years ago that if I don't do the
>first act of playing around with pain meds, I don't do
>the umpteen thousand between that one and the last one
>I did before going into treatment (again)... works for
>me.
>
>Feels nice to be here without the 90mg of morphine
>before breakfast... I didn't get "high" but got coated
>with it. The peace had something sitting there beside
>it, bothering it... nice to be here, no drugs, no
>nicotine, no caffine, nothing. ahhhhhh, good.
>
>OH, and I was getting this  a scotch should have been
>in one hand and a cigarette in the other, that is how
>it felt after being on the morphine for a while, not
>cravings but that it felt more normal that I had other
>drugs/substances in me with the morphine.
>
>Something learned.
>
>Brett
>
>
>
>
>
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